Reviews from

Immortalized

An Ekphrastic Poem in iambic pentameter

52 total reviews 
Comment from nancyjam
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I loved reading your thoughts on this beautiful statue.
Your quatrains in abab rhyme are well metered and the
use of enjambment in spots aids creation of a smooth flowing write.
Beautiful picture. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Nancy!
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow I have written ekphrasticly.....because I write about pieces of art work a lot...I am an art teacher...I just never knew. I love this poem about the freight of Gods demands ..you have a wonderful turn of phrase....as an artist crafts with bronze you craft with the deftest words
God bless

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Thank you, Jenny. I'll bet you have, my friend! I appreciate your kind words! David
Comment from joeakeefe
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You have done a great job in making this tiny figure come alive for your readers.
As a poetic form, from what I know, it is quite effective. I have seen several examples of it across the years. I have never seen it displayed on this site. Maybe I have been less than observant.

I must say that the last line of this piece is superb. "Burdened by the freight of God's demands.
It is similar to what one would expect to read in the Old Testament.

And God appears to enjoy thrusting "burdens down on His people.

Mark Twain has a great deal to say about that issue I can tell you. He speaks with such vehemence in volume two of the recently released papers out of U of California.

Great job, Much enjoyed.
Joe

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, Joe, for your great review. I love Mark Twain, and I appreciate the reference.
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very beautiful poetic verse and so well constructed about the truly amazing sculpture of an angel in it appears to be a lot of anguish. Don and Vicki.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, Don.
Comment from sunnilicious
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wonderful statue. And an even better poem. Well thought out and clearly written. Good visual imagery. Good flow of rhythm and rhymes. Nicely done. Great!

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Sunni!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Superb piece, and I love your sculpture. The angel seems to be crying because mankind is so sinful and stupid and unappreciative of the wonderful world given to them, unable to get along but always killing one another.

He was a shrine to vulnerability, << Awesome line!

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, Phyllis. I think that's a very good interpretation of the piece. Much appreciated.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very nice poem, David. I am guessing the sculpture is a copy of one from the early modernism era? Not being well versed in sculpture I couldn't say for sure and I hope that you will enlighten me. In Canada because of the dearth of fine art and our appreciation for functionalism over aesthetics my ekphrastic would be an Elegy to a Saw Mill. :)

I think you've aptly captured the mood/tone of the sculpture as the body is positioned in one of protection, guarding the heart and the centre.

Because the wings are small in proportion to the well-muscled body of the man it suggests to me he has recently transformed into a ground-dweller as the wings couldn't support in flight for long the weight of the man. The small wings could also represent the atrophy of a vestigial structure (wings) which could be symbolic of rationalism replacing religion as central to mankind.

In my opinion your insights are keen, perceptive and sensitive with the centerpiece of the poem being that of a paralyzed immortal on one knee, but not in supplication. Sigh... At least we're not standing at the Gates of Hell.

Nicely done, dear friend.

Gloria



 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Gloria, I do believe you're correct, you clever lady! Thank you so much, and WHOA! an impressive review, my friend. Yes, thank goodness we didn't observe this at the hot gates. Love your reviews. Intelligence IS sexy, you know. ;-)
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A fine piece of artwork that has drawn an equally fine response from your pen. Your musings, as always, are full of interest. Your last two lines:
"Perhaps in prayer, because he understood,
Or burdened by the freight of God's demands."
struck a particular chord both for the enigmatic 'because he understod' and the felicity of the phrase 'burdened by the freight'.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Tony, for that insightful review. I appreciate it, as always.
Comment from Alan K Pease
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I am just sorry that I did not read your poetry earlier. Your statue provided stimulus in experimenting with ideas. You made a good choice to post this version.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Alan, many thanks, my friend, for this great review and your generous sixer. I appreciate it!
Comment from MariTi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That picture is haunting and your words work very well to tell a variety of stories that can possibly go with it. I was inspired myself to create a story based on this picture. I like how you were able to fit in different ideas of the Angel's identity. The immortality of both the Angel and the stone and the fixture of the position make for a wonderful idea and I'm glad you made use of that. :)

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    MarTi, thank you! If you write a story about it, let me know. I think volumes could be composed based on this sculpture. I appreciate the great review.