Behold This Child
For my godson's christening65 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
It's more conventional and traditional than you usually are, but you've explained why that is. It's still an honour to be asked to be a godfather. I'm sure they've made a good choice. This is a lovely poem, expressing warm hopes for a child's future. Well done, David and good luck for Sunday.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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It's more conventional and traditional than you usually are, but you've explained why that is. It's still an honour to be asked to be a godfather. I'm sure they've made a good choice. This is a lovely poem, expressing warm hopes for a child's future. Well done, David and good luck for Sunday.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Adrienne, thank you SO much for your wonderful review, your kind use of the sixer, and your good wishes. Much appreciated, my friend.
Comment from rama devi
Lovely tribute poem, David. Not your usual but musical, nonetheless, with great flow and cadence, and fine rhyming as well a fine consonance etc.
Behold this child -- observe his eyes,
The richness of their gleam,
A godly light of depth and sight,(--)
The prism of a dream.
Lovely opening image, tone and tenor, which matches the picture nicely too! Love line four. Note one suggestion.
We hold this child -- and see ourselves
As we were long ago,
Before that cage of time and rage
Became our mortal foe.
Awesome perspective and voicing. Especially great internal rhyme and phrasing in line three and consonance of M in line four as well as consonant F between before and foe.
Behold this child -- as he begins
The journey all embark,
Where all will stall, lose ground, and fall
Or stumble in the dark.
Great continuation of the theme and superb internal rhyme in lien three. Fine alliteration of S.
We hold this child -- to let him go,
But first we clutch him near
To clue, beseech, encourage, teach
And whisper in his ear.
Wonderful stanza! Rich in meaning and I especially loved the content and internal rhyme in line three
Behold this child -- entreat your hearts
With faith and hope compiled,
To raise each glass, and wish en masse
For love to hold this child.
Love how line one echoes the assonance of EA from previous stanza. Nice internal rhyme in line three. Good word choice here: faith and hope compiled.
A great closing note of Love.
Bravo
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Lovely tribute poem, David. Not your usual but musical, nonetheless, with great flow and cadence, and fine rhyming as well a fine consonance etc.
Behold this child -- observe his eyes,
The richness of their gleam,
A godly light of depth and sight,(--)
The prism of a dream.
Lovely opening image, tone and tenor, which matches the picture nicely too! Love line four. Note one suggestion.
We hold this child -- and see ourselves
As we were long ago,
Before that cage of time and rage
Became our mortal foe.
Awesome perspective and voicing. Especially great internal rhyme and phrasing in line three and consonance of M in line four as well as consonant F between before and foe.
Behold this child -- as he begins
The journey all embark,
Where all will stall, lose ground, and fall
Or stumble in the dark.
Great continuation of the theme and superb internal rhyme in lien three. Fine alliteration of S.
We hold this child -- to let him go,
But first we clutch him near
To clue, beseech, encourage, teach
And whisper in his ear.
Wonderful stanza! Rich in meaning and I especially loved the content and internal rhyme in line three
Behold this child -- entreat your hearts
With faith and hope compiled,
To raise each glass, and wish en masse
For love to hold this child.
Love how line one echoes the assonance of EA from previous stanza. Nice internal rhyme in line three. Good word choice here: faith and hope compiled.
A great closing note of Love.
Bravo
Love,
rd
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Rama, I do love you, lady. Thanks so much for your so thorough review, and for your great suggestion. I'm taking it. As always, I do appreciate you.
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Love you too, rhyme guy! Appreciation and hugs, rd
Comment from A Jesterstear
This should be a six big M. What a god father he has. I don't think I know anyone that has written a poem for their God child. Well done, the poem its self flows wonderfully with those clever internal rhymes in the third lines. Thank you for sharing. AJ.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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This should be a six big M. What a god father he has. I don't think I know anyone that has written a poem for their God child. Well done, the poem its self flows wonderfully with those clever internal rhymes in the third lines. Thank you for sharing. AJ.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Many thanks, my friend, for your great review. As always, I appreciate it.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
A rich 5-stanza poem with alternating end rhymes and internal rhymes in the third line of each stanza as well. My favorite lines were:
A godly light of depth and sight,
The prism of a dream.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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A rich 5-stanza poem with alternating end rhymes and internal rhymes in the third line of each stanza as well. My favorite lines were:
A godly light of depth and sight,
The prism of a dream.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, Crystie!
Comment from Domino 2
Congratulations on becoming a godfather, David. It that's the little guy, he sure looks happy enough.
Genuine feelings expressed in common and very endearing words, of your pride and also you care for kids in general, and the pleasure they bring us.
Perfect meter and rhymes.
Here's my first sixer of the week.
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Congratulations on becoming a godfather, David. It that's the little guy, he sure looks happy enough.
Genuine feelings expressed in common and very endearing words, of your pride and also you care for kids in general, and the pleasure they bring us.
Perfect meter and rhymes.
Here's my first sixer of the week.
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Ted, thank you SO much for that sixer, my friend. I really appreciate it! It means a lot! David
Comment from Janie King
A child is the most priceless and precious gift God ever grants a family. he looks like a happy little camper. May God protect him, keep him safe from all harm and give him the strength to not be swayed into drugs, and all the things that can ruin his life. God loves you and so do I,.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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A child is the most priceless and precious gift God ever grants a family. he looks like a happy little camper. May God protect him, keep him safe from all harm and give him the strength to not be swayed into drugs, and all the things that can ruin his life. God loves you and so do I,.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, Janie! I really appreciate it! God bless you.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
How lovely! Your ex-roommate must be thrilled with this poem. It is very good. Five lovely stanzas - the last one a toast to the new baby. A very nice poem and a lovely picture of the babe. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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How lovely! Your ex-roommate must be thrilled with this poem. It is very good. Five lovely stanzas - the last one a toast to the new baby. A very nice poem and a lovely picture of the babe. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate it, Dorothy. It was an honor to write for them.
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
I for one enjoy the simplicity of this verse. I think it shelves some very insightful observations; all of which add up to hope. Lucky guy. Kenny
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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I for one enjoy the simplicity of this verse. I think it shelves some very insightful observations; all of which add up to hope. Lucky guy. Kenny
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Kenny. I think this kind of piece needs to be simple since so many who will hear it aren't necessarily poetry lovers. I appreciate it, my friend.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I think it's beautiful David. My favorite part of the poem is the forth stanza....
We hold this child -- to let him go,
But first we clutch him near
To clue, beseech, encourage, teach
And whisper in his ear.
That is what we do. I know your friend will love it! Well done. Cute Kid. Nancy
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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I think it's beautiful David. My favorite part of the poem is the forth stanza....
We hold this child -- to let him go,
But first we clutch him near
To clue, beseech, encourage, teach
And whisper in his ear.
That is what we do. I know your friend will love it! Well done. Cute Kid. Nancy
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Nancy! I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from C. Dow
Very nice poem,as all children we should hold them,so near,and dear. They grow up so very fast,and love is what holds us all together,the glue in our lives. C. Dow
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Very nice poem,as all children we should hold them,so near,and dear. They grow up so very fast,and love is what holds us all together,the glue in our lives. C. Dow
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, C. Dow, for your wise words and review.
