Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Client Therapy & Dog Care"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
11 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
"Leave it to Christine to raise the MORAL." MORALE??
"I know that in what 'once was the real world', THAT I craved ..." Close quote marks and remove second THAT.
You're telling a story with an interesting situation. I think you have a good mix of characters.
You tend to switch from present tense to past tense in narration, especially in the first half of the chapter. Also, the voice seems to change completely in the second part. Almost as if written by a different author. LOL!
Well done in describing the different reactions to the death. Very poetic.
A good read, Mikey.
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"Leave it to Christine to raise the MORAL." MORALE??
"I know that in what 'once was the real world', THAT I craved ..." Close quote marks and remove second THAT.
You're telling a story with an interesting situation. I think you have a good mix of characters.
You tend to switch from present tense to past tense in narration, especially in the first half of the chapter. Also, the voice seems to change completely in the second part. Almost as if written by a different author. LOL!
Well done in describing the different reactions to the death. Very poetic.
A good read, Mikey.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
