Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "A Stampede & Georgie Porgie"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
25 total reviews
Comment from Michaelk
Great chapter. I liked the elimination of all things electronic being posted on a website, nice irony. Your description of the disaster was quite vivid. However there didn't seem to be much fear, remorse, regret come out of it. It's like humanity (or what was left if it) just gave up and started talking about their favorite movie. (The Natural is my favorite movie by the way) I did like how people were trying to find some normalcy, but it was like no one really cared about the catastrophe. No one freaked out or anything. I did like the whole camp scene, it was very 'Walking dead season one'. On the whole I liked it, just thought a little more emotion out of the survivors would've been fitting. Can't wait for next chapter.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Great chapter. I liked the elimination of all things electronic being posted on a website, nice irony. Your description of the disaster was quite vivid. However there didn't seem to be much fear, remorse, regret come out of it. It's like humanity (or what was left if it) just gave up and started talking about their favorite movie. (The Natural is my favorite movie by the way) I did like how people were trying to find some normalcy, but it was like no one really cared about the catastrophe. No one freaked out or anything. I did like the whole camp scene, it was very 'Walking dead season one'. On the whole I liked it, just thought a little more emotion out of the survivors would've been fitting. Can't wait for next chapter.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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That is a great point and I hadn't even thought about it. Appreciate you pointing that out. Sometimes I get focused on an aspect and forget about something obvious. I'll try to add that in as I move forward. That would certainly be a factor. Thank you very much, mikey
Comment from Marillion
I like how you're offering small details as to the nature of the disaster, Mikey, without giving too much away. As you'd said, the people were ignorant to it, and so should we be.
Nicely done, from the quick hitter about the explosion, to the idea of entertainment without our gadgets, and the simplification of things. Of course, as society crumbles, there are sure to be problems between people, mostly from group to group, and I look forward to that conflict as you move towards it.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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I like how you're offering small details as to the nature of the disaster, Mikey, without giving too much away. As you'd said, the people were ignorant to it, and so should we be.
Nicely done, from the quick hitter about the explosion, to the idea of entertainment without our gadgets, and the simplification of things. Of course, as society crumbles, there are sure to be problems between people, mostly from group to group, and I look forward to that conflict as you move towards it.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Right now everyone is afraid to move. But, that should change depending on each groups situation. Glad you're liking it. Thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from CR Delport
You really have my curiosity worked up now. What is causing all this? Great stuff.
The stench of death is something that we came all too quickly used to. -- All too quickly we became familiar with the stench of death.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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You really have my curiosity worked up now. What is causing all this? Great stuff.
The stench of death is something that we came all too quickly used to. -- All too quickly we became familiar with the stench of death.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Yeah. That is simple. I knew I ended in a preposition, but I couldn't think of a decent way to reword it, duh!!!! Glad you are enjoying this. It is changing as I write it. I thought it was all done too. I should've known better. mikey
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Starting with basic skills. How does one start a fire? Does someone in the group have a lighter or do you have to rub two sticks together. Fire is a must, then water. Is the fire pure, does it have to be boiled. Who kills the game? Who is the provider? I'm just throwing ideas out there, just in case. Does a member of the group have survival skills? Can he make a snare? Is there adequate shelter? I'm sure, you covered most of the bases. You are covering the bases. You are preparing us for what is to come. You state some interesting ideas and facts. A good precurser, I been through lots of survival schools. It'a lot tougher in reality than on TV. They shut down the camera and have a snack, who would know. After a few days you get weak! Faood is a number one priority. You know, you can get soap from the roots of a Yucca plant and use it's leaves, strip it into strands and make a fish-net, I have done that. Cactus is edible. Wild mushrooms and onions can be found. Better know your onions. I made onion soup with rabbit once, in Pensacola survival school. Ate an Armidillo. Dig a hole, make a firebed with heated rocks and bake it wrapped in green leaves or what-not. It ain't easy, like on TV.
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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Starting with basic skills. How does one start a fire? Does someone in the group have a lighter or do you have to rub two sticks together. Fire is a must, then water. Is the fire pure, does it have to be boiled. Who kills the game? Who is the provider? I'm just throwing ideas out there, just in case. Does a member of the group have survival skills? Can he make a snare? Is there adequate shelter? I'm sure, you covered most of the bases. You are covering the bases. You are preparing us for what is to come. You state some interesting ideas and facts. A good precurser, I been through lots of survival schools. It'a lot tougher in reality than on TV. They shut down the camera and have a snack, who would know. After a few days you get weak! Faood is a number one priority. You know, you can get soap from the roots of a Yucca plant and use it's leaves, strip it into strands and make a fish-net, I have done that. Cactus is edible. Wild mushrooms and onions can be found. Better know your onions. I made onion soup with rabbit once, in Pensacola survival school. Ate an Armidillo. Dig a hole, make a firebed with heated rocks and bake it wrapped in green leaves or what-not. It ain't easy, like on TV.
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Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Damn! You overestimate me. I haven't thought of any of this. They have lighters and fuel and they are by a mercantile with groceries. But they have to face cannibalism later in the story. But, I need to address all of this. Now I know you know all about it. Hahaha. Ricky wanders in to camp..... I never have anything covered. I make it up as I go. This is finished, but I wrote it before I came here and learned more about writing. I am having to fix a lot of it as I go. Some of it is good though. But, basic surviving is important. They are on a camping trip so that helps. But, even the store isn't going to have a fresh meat source. But, it isn't an immediate problem. Lots of canned goods and dry goods for the time being. The wildlife and and plant life is plentiful but it is suspect because of the damage to the environment. They don't know what has killed things so they would be reluctant to just pick some berries or mushrooms. Maybe they are covered in poisonous gas remnants. Lots to think about now. mikey
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I can keep a secret about cannibalism. Are you up?
Comment from seaglass
It holds my interest. I love the redwood, so I couldn't choose a better setting.
One little typo- several pg from the bottom.
"and this is what I (fell) like writing, feel?)
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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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It holds my interest. I love the redwood, so I couldn't choose a better setting.
One little typo- several pg from the bottom.
"and this is what I (fell) like writing, feel?)
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Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Feel, yes. Thank you. Cool, glad your liking it so far. More to come. mikey
