Reviews from

Yosemite

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "A Stampede & Georgie Porgie"
Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.

25 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
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I Hum Reminds me of the Aussie Standard song 'Foot ball meat pies Kangaroos and Holden cars" Ha lOOKS LIKE THE CAR MANUFCFTURING INDUSTRY IN Australia HAS BEEN SHOT TO PIECES AND THE vEHICLE BUILDERS UNOION WON'T ADMIT THEY CAUSED THE DOWNTURN IN CAR MAKING dOWN UNDER. Sorry for the caps mad caps lock

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

Comment from nordicgirl
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Good job moving along establishing relatioships and personalities. Fun little story that Johnny made up. Clever writing. Sounds like its off the top of his head. NG

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014

reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
    Glad to see you are catching up. Missed you, mikey
Comment from Darkhorse555
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wow deeply beautiful drawn mikey The stench of death is something that we came all too quickly used to. In truth excellent piece dear friend

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2014

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
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Paragraph 10-- This is a good paragraph, which I like, but you have used 'would' 3 times. I was told to watch that? just a thought.
I think you have a marvellous concept for your story here, Mikey. I'm enjoying it.. Giddy

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2014

Comment from Phyllis Stewart
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LOL! 'Is this a true story?' Funny line to end with. But not a funny story. An intriguing mystery tho. You're doing an excellent job of keeping the reader glued to the screen!

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2014

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
    That stems from a true incident. We were watching the movie Independence Day and Rhonda asked if it was a true story while Will Smith was dragging an alien across the desert. Glad this is holding your attention. Thank you, mikey
Comment from emrpoems
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Good use of language
Lots of intrigue so that I shall be reading the next chapter to find out what took palace with Jennifer in particular. A thought provoking story

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2014

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
    Pleased you enjoyed. Trying for a little more dialogue and interaction with Jennifer in the next chapter. Thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from l.raven
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HI Michael, I don't think true...but who can tell... you my be writing the future and not even know it...stranger things have happened...Ok Know we know how it stared and some of the people that got out...a energy is not going to come from mankind...maybe nature ??? very well written Michael...so far so good...luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2014

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
    I probably won't know. I'm not that technical so I will just talk about it and leave it up to the imagination!! But, the characters have to deal with it anyway, mikey
Comment from Tatarka2
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Once again, I would suggest that you begin with a scene; maybe tell the story of the catastrophe through the eyes of various characters. I'm especially interested in Jennifer, the pregnant girl. How did she survive? Who is the father? What will happen to the baby born after the world changed? What happened? Such an intriguing tale. Great beginning.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2014

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
    Okay. Some of that already coming and I am planning to add more along that line. Good advice. Funny, this story was complete and now it is totally incomplete. Hahaha. More fun that way! mikey
Comment from Nosha17
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Good chapter, well-written. I like the way you the writer have taken charge and are in control of events. That is your prerogative! Good use of language in the descriptions and narrative. Imaginative writing. Faye

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2014

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
    I seem to always have a writer somewhere in my stories. Sometimes more than one. Glad you are liking this. Thank you so much, mikey
Comment from GracieAnn
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Mikey, just some peripheral comments: Yosimite is by nature a secluded and mountain-protected area. Good choice of location to up the survival rates. If the sky is blackened then solar wouldn't work. Any wind resources around? River contaminated? Filters somewhere? Food supply?

I like the examination of the average guy who has never had to fin for themselves or dealt with lean times. The reactions of the people to the stories is a revelation of sorts of human nature. Loved the last reaction. Nice work. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2014

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
    Good input. I'll keep that all in mind. I must admit I hadn't given much thought to some of the basics like survival. I have some elements of that in there that need some expansion. Thank you very much. mikey