(Dis)solution
Please read notes65 total reviews
Comment from Orphan33
As an avid gunsmith and tinker of firearms, my Dad would have loved this little work of yours. Well done. I really enjoyed how with each stanza the threat level increased. My pap always told me never to argue unless I was willing to die. It took me a long time to understand what he meant but I finally got it. Continued good luck and success in all of your writing adventures and quests.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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As an avid gunsmith and tinker of firearms, my Dad would have loved this little work of yours. Well done. I really enjoyed how with each stanza the threat level increased. My pap always told me never to argue unless I was willing to die. It took me a long time to understand what he meant but I finally got it. Continued good luck and success in all of your writing adventures and quests.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Your pap was a wise man, Orphan. Thanks very much for your great review and kind words.
Comment from Just2Write
Oh, so true. Guns will solve everything. Not)
I am perplexed by the American Way - Shoot first, ask questions later. I once said in something I wrote that said guns didn't belong in schools or churches.
I got a reply from one reviewer stating that they are absolutely needed there. Now, more than ever.
I wondered at what age do we teach children to kill?
Some folks think it a great idea to pack guns into lunch boxes, right along with the thermos bottle and twinkies.
Great poem, my friend. I took it to be sarcastic. My God, I certainly hope so.
Rose.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Oh, so true. Guns will solve everything. Not)
I am perplexed by the American Way - Shoot first, ask questions later. I once said in something I wrote that said guns didn't belong in schools or churches.
I got a reply from one reviewer stating that they are absolutely needed there. Now, more than ever.
I wondered at what age do we teach children to kill?
Some folks think it a great idea to pack guns into lunch boxes, right along with the thermos bottle and twinkies.
Great poem, my friend. I took it to be sarcastic. My God, I certainly hope so.
Rose.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, my friend. I appreciate your good insight and great review.
Comment from Gloria ....
This is pretty good, David. You have some excellent advice in there. I always kill my lessons, then bury them because then I can use my experience and recognize the same mistake when I make it again. Love the mixed meter and shall try to copy that erm I mean emulate that form sometime soon.
Cheers,
Gloria
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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This is pretty good, David. You have some excellent advice in there. I always kill my lessons, then bury them because then I can use my experience and recognize the same mistake when I make it again. Love the mixed meter and shall try to copy that erm I mean emulate that form sometime soon.
Cheers,
Gloria
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you my friend. Feel free to emulate! I haven't done one of these in quite awhile, but I like it as a change from the IP and sonnets.
Comment from paulah60
It was pretty clear to me in those first two lines (even though it's quasi-implicit) that this is not a pro-gun poem. But for me, the essence of the poem is not even about guns (or boxing gloves or knives). It's about COMMUNICATION: distorted; diminished; constrained; driven underground.
I'm sure I've said it before, war is our primary mode of existence. We think and IMAGINE oppositionally. The martial state of the soul has governance over our lives, and it pisses me off! LOL Your words (the subtext, anyway), have pricked the martial state of MY soul! I think enmity will survive eternally because it feeds our deep-seated, impassioned feelings of rage and hatred. Again, look inside people!
I'm not for a minute suggesting we aim for "world peace". Personally, I think that's a utopian load of crap! But our moral constraints are making us emotionally constipated, and so our words are hamstrung. Little wonder that many resort to physical violence as a means of having the last word. The trouble with this is that the last word is never spoken. Oh, and I could go on and on and bore you shitless!
Suffice to say, David, more power to you for conveying a balanced, realistic viewpoint in this very well-crafted piece of work. It's not all or nothing.
Particularly like the lines: 'Unbox the boxing gloves' and 'And live to kill the lesson'. And I JUST LOVE the way you've alluded to mythical consciousness with your last lines:
'We'll give our grievance to the gods
Of Colt and Smith & Wesson.'
Oh baby...you YOURSELF are a tour de force and I'm sixless! ;-}
Cheers
Paula
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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It was pretty clear to me in those first two lines (even though it's quasi-implicit) that this is not a pro-gun poem. But for me, the essence of the poem is not even about guns (or boxing gloves or knives). It's about COMMUNICATION: distorted; diminished; constrained; driven underground.
I'm sure I've said it before, war is our primary mode of existence. We think and IMAGINE oppositionally. The martial state of the soul has governance over our lives, and it pisses me off! LOL Your words (the subtext, anyway), have pricked the martial state of MY soul! I think enmity will survive eternally because it feeds our deep-seated, impassioned feelings of rage and hatred. Again, look inside people!
I'm not for a minute suggesting we aim for "world peace". Personally, I think that's a utopian load of crap! But our moral constraints are making us emotionally constipated, and so our words are hamstrung. Little wonder that many resort to physical violence as a means of having the last word. The trouble with this is that the last word is never spoken. Oh, and I could go on and on and bore you shitless!
Suffice to say, David, more power to you for conveying a balanced, realistic viewpoint in this very well-crafted piece of work. It's not all or nothing.
Particularly like the lines: 'Unbox the boxing gloves' and 'And live to kill the lesson'. And I JUST LOVE the way you've alluded to mythical consciousness with your last lines:
'We'll give our grievance to the gods
Of Colt and Smith & Wesson.'
Oh baby...you YOURSELF are a tour de force and I'm sixless! ;-}
Cheers
Paula
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Paula, thank you so much for sharing your philosophies with me, as I find them fascinating, riveting, and so close to my own. Aside from your own insights as to the world condition, which I totally agree with, you've picked out the very parts of my poem that resonate the most with me.
Appreciate you, my friend.
Comment from Domino 2
Very clever, original themed and fun write, David, expressing how it's best to talk and then negotiate before resorting to violence or revenge.
Mind you, it's sometimes easier said than done, as all us humans have a snapping point that can't be predicted.
Dammit! I just kicked the cat again. Serves it right for 'meeowing'. Just kidding LOL.
Top flow and rhyme, as ever, in this excellently crafted, funnily philosophical and entertaining write.
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Very clever, original themed and fun write, David, expressing how it's best to talk and then negotiate before resorting to violence or revenge.
Mind you, it's sometimes easier said than done, as all us humans have a snapping point that can't be predicted.
Dammit! I just kicked the cat again. Serves it right for 'meeowing'. Just kidding LOL.
Top flow and rhyme, as ever, in this excellently crafted, funnily philosophical and entertaining write.
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Ted, as always, for the ever-present humor and great review. D
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well done, nice build up toward the end. As for the content along with the notes, the guns that show up in bar brawls and such are verrrrry seldom legal, registered guns. That type of person doesn't own a gun to protect himself from home invaders or carjackers, rapists, or muggers. He owns it cuz his whole gang owns illegal guns, and chances are he IS the mugger I need my gun to keep away.
My hubby and I own guns. We're about to take a required course to get a state license for concealed carry. Since Chicago was FORCED by the Supreme Court to allow its citizens to own guns and to "bear arms", so many residents of that city (last year highest murder rate in nation) have armed themselves and are making illegal-gun-carriers think twice, that FINALLY crime is DROPPING. When the ordinary law-abiding citizen is armed, crime is ALWAYS much lower. Without the 2nd amendment working for us, only the criminals will have guns, so they are not afraid of the good folks they rob and attack. Things are finally going back to how they should be. COMMON SENSE prevails in at lesat this ONE area. Everything else in this screwed up society is still pretty much upside down and backwards, cuz the leftists have had their way for five years.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Well done, nice build up toward the end. As for the content along with the notes, the guns that show up in bar brawls and such are verrrrry seldom legal, registered guns. That type of person doesn't own a gun to protect himself from home invaders or carjackers, rapists, or muggers. He owns it cuz his whole gang owns illegal guns, and chances are he IS the mugger I need my gun to keep away.
My hubby and I own guns. We're about to take a required course to get a state license for concealed carry. Since Chicago was FORCED by the Supreme Court to allow its citizens to own guns and to "bear arms", so many residents of that city (last year highest murder rate in nation) have armed themselves and are making illegal-gun-carriers think twice, that FINALLY crime is DROPPING. When the ordinary law-abiding citizen is armed, crime is ALWAYS much lower. Without the 2nd amendment working for us, only the criminals will have guns, so they are not afraid of the good folks they rob and attack. Things are finally going back to how they should be. COMMON SENSE prevails in at lesat this ONE area. Everything else in this screwed up society is still pretty much upside down and backwards, cuz the leftists have had their way for five years.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Phyllis, and you're 100% right. I'm very well trained in firearms, and I know where the problems arise, and I totally agree with you. It's not the responsible gun owners; it's the illegally owned handguns that do the lion's share of the damage.
Comment from lakeport
Dis-solution, indeed that's a very heartfelt expressd poem,
very nice rhyming and flow. I enjoyed reading it, God bless you.Lakeport.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Dis-solution, indeed that's a very heartfelt expressd poem,
very nice rhyming and flow. I enjoyed reading it, God bless you.Lakeport.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, lakeport!
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your welcome.lakeport.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a strong piece of writing from the author in this post. I get it that this is not a pro-gun poem. On the contrary, I think you get the message across that feuding is unnecessary and futile. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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This is a strong piece of writing from the author in this post. I get it that this is not a pro-gun poem. On the contrary, I think you get the message across that feuding is unnecessary and futile. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Tomes. I appreciate the review!
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My pleasure
Comment from twinklepoems
I really enjoyed your PRO GUN poem and I'm so glad you were able to rhyme with it. You have clearly stated the steps you will take when fighting (in such nice poetic form). I think you should stop at the drink but what do I know. Favorite lines: squaring off with knives and grievance to the gods.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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I really enjoyed your PRO GUN poem and I'm so glad you were able to rhyme with it. You have clearly stated the steps you will take when fighting (in such nice poetic form). I think you should stop at the drink but what do I know. Favorite lines: squaring off with knives and grievance to the gods.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you, twinkle, for your review. I personally agree that the drink should be enough, but this was more a social statement than a personal philosophy.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Oh David - knives and guns - How dare you LOL. Well rhymed in four well written stanzas. A bit different for you. Can't see anything to pick fault with except the message you send out. What's wrong with pugilism - a good fist fight - John Wayne style? But that does not detract from this being a good poem. To change the subject, you win, regarding 'oil' - two syllables OK. (re: my last review). Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Oh David - knives and guns - How dare you LOL. Well rhymed in four well written stanzas. A bit different for you. Can't see anything to pick fault with except the message you send out. What's wrong with pugilism - a good fist fight - John Wayne style? But that does not detract from this being a good poem. To change the subject, you win, regarding 'oil' - two syllables OK. (re: my last review). Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Yes, the nerve of me! ;-) Thanks for the laugh, Dorothy, as I can just see you puking up your dukes for a brawl. I appreciate the great review, my friend.
As for oil, we're both right. It can be used either way, just like fire and hour, etc. Thanks! D
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Hi David - What's with this :-) - lots do it. Is it a poetic affectation. Seems unnecessary when you can just put a . and save time. Or even a ! Dorothy
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It's a smile, actually. The colon is eyes, the dash is the nose, and the close parenthesis is the mouth. :-) See?
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Yes ....well I never.....Thanks. D
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It's considered a pleasantry, really, so it's a good thing. :-)
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Indeed it is - I shall use it - even when I may be criticising in the very kindest way. LOL. D
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It can definitely soften a blow.
