Ichabod
Poem about Ichabod from the 1 Samuel 4: 21-2225 total reviews
Comment from Visheshta Dahiya
a great poem.
the vocabulary is good and the use of words is just great..!!!
the pain is clearly depicted through your words.
good work..!!!
best wishes
Visheshta
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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a great poem.
the vocabulary is good and the use of words is just great..!!!
the pain is clearly depicted through your words.
good work..!!!
best wishes
Visheshta
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you vishesta
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welcome :)
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good solid rhyming couplets for the first part. Good end rhyming. Good alliteration with will/walk...through/these...terrible/times...these/thoughts...perish/putrid...demons/desert...endured/entire. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Good solid rhyming couplets for the first part. Good end rhyming. Good alliteration with will/walk...through/these...terrible/times...these/thoughts...perish/putrid...demons/desert...endured/entire. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you rider .
Comment from ragamuffin
You've written a thought provoking piece on rejection and the wretched emotion and feel that must go along with that. Very strong description and a message to not forget about others, no matter how "undesirable" they are. A little kindness may just make a huge difference. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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You've written a thought provoking piece on rejection and the wretched emotion and feel that must go along with that. Very strong description and a message to not forget about others, no matter how "undesirable" they are. A little kindness may just make a huge difference. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you ragamuffin .
Comment from c_lucas
This poem led me to think of Ichabod Crane and the headless horseman. It is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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This poem led me to think of Ichabod Crane and the headless horseman. It is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks Lucas
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You're welcome, Justin. Charlie
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting poem from the author in this piece of writing. I like to use fact, fiction and Biblical events to meld into an exciting story as well. Great writing.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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This is an interesting poem from the author in this piece of writing. I like to use fact, fiction and Biblical events to meld into an exciting story as well. Great writing.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks Tomes
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My pleasure
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
So, I lay in wait for the night.
Hoping these demons of the desert
Will end the pain that I have endured my entire life. [[ loved it, its a nice poem] keep writing
K
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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So, I lay in wait for the night.
Hoping these demons of the desert
Will end the pain that I have endured my entire life. [[ loved it, its a nice poem] keep writing
K
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks Ali
Comment from robina1978
Excellent photo that complements your biblical poem very well. Mostly rhyming couplets. Obviously Ichabod had a very difficult life. At the end he wished the birds of prey to end his suffering. Justin, I am so pleased to see you again.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Excellent photo that complements your biblical poem very well. Mostly rhyming couplets. Obviously Ichabod had a very difficult life. At the end he wished the birds of prey to end his suffering. Justin, I am so pleased to see you again.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks Robina
Comment from amahra
Ichabod is the name of the character in Sleepy Hollow. I had no idea it was in the Bible and it meant, disgrace. Thank you for a very informational piece.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Ichabod is the name of the character in Sleepy Hollow. I had no idea it was in the Bible and it meant, disgrace. Thank you for a very informational piece.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks Amahra
Comment from ravenblack
Not overly familiar with the story of Ichabod. You do communicate his suffering, just remember that sometimes adjectives can damage a poem. Unacceptable abomination- an abomination is unacceptable. Flesh-searing also too overblown. Think of flow, "So now I, Ichabod, this abomination/ will walk the desert sands of an unforgiving nation". Same with putrid hell- hell is putrid, don't need it. Lay should also be lie. And you also have virtually every line ending with a period even if they are not sentences- it is really detrimental to the flow. I think you have a solid start on a poem that can be much stronger.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Not overly familiar with the story of Ichabod. You do communicate his suffering, just remember that sometimes adjectives can damage a poem. Unacceptable abomination- an abomination is unacceptable. Flesh-searing also too overblown. Think of flow, "So now I, Ichabod, this abomination/ will walk the desert sands of an unforgiving nation". Same with putrid hell- hell is putrid, don't need it. Lay should also be lie. And you also have virtually every line ending with a period even if they are not sentences- it is really detrimental to the flow. I think you have a solid start on a poem that can be much stronger.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks for the advice Raven .
Comment from krys123
Wow! A very powerful, dominant and impressive Piece of writing which I was very enthusiastic and reading such a story about a man named Ichabod, the scourge of the earth.
The rhymes where applied were neither forced, labored or strained why your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout the poem which made it easy for me to read it clearly. Thanks for posting and sharing this for everyone. You have a good one and God bless.
Alex
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Wow! A very powerful, dominant and impressive Piece of writing which I was very enthusiastic and reading such a story about a man named Ichabod, the scourge of the earth.
The rhymes where applied were neither forced, labored or strained why your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout the poem which made it easy for me to read it clearly. Thanks for posting and sharing this for everyone. You have a good one and God bless.
Alex
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Thank you Alex.
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You are so welcome Justin
