I've Lost My Brother!
Where has Tommy gone?35 total reviews
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi sandramitchell
A nice little story with a happy outcome for the mice. The reader level seems just about right for children as well.
Good work.
Patrick
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Hi sandramitchell
A nice little story with a happy outcome for the mice. The reader level seems just about right for children as well.
Good work.
Patrick
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Patrick. I'm really pleased you liked it! :) Sandra. xx
Comment from kiwijenny
Ah, but now We know where the elves play...oops but I assure you I will not tell. I loved this and I think children would relate to it real well
Well written
God bless.........
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Ah, but now We know where the elves play...oops but I assure you I will not tell. I loved this and I think children would relate to it real well
Well written
God bless.........
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Jenny. I'm glad you can keep a secret! LOL, what we have to do these days. I'm really pleased you enjoyed it! xsx Sandra
Comment from Selina Stambi
My dear Sandra,
What a sweet way to end my day! Again, you transported me to the enchanted make believe days of my childhood.
Thank you, sweet lady!
xxx
Sonali
Tommy Mouse he could hear, and ran to catch (up with him).
worry, I'll help you to find him(,)" Reggie the Rat told him cheerfully
I don't think so," mumbled(no comma needed) Tommy Mouse
Tommy Mouse running (alongside) him to keep up
they even asked the birds that were (sitting)/ (that sat) on the branches if
"You must be very quiet(,) though," whispered
making even more noise(.) (I)t was a nightmare
beaker of (homemade) berry juice.
you something(,)" (t)he eldest elf said, coming
you come and visit us(,)" (o)ne of the elves told them as they waved
"We hope we see you again (some day)."
(T)hen without warning, they were gone, just disappeared. (Try not to start a sentence with 'but' or 'and'.)
on, you two!" (y)elled Timmy Mouse, making the other two jump(,) "I'll race you both home!"
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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My dear Sandra,
What a sweet way to end my day! Again, you transported me to the enchanted make believe days of my childhood.
Thank you, sweet lady!
xxx
Sonali
Tommy Mouse he could hear, and ran to catch (up with him).
worry, I'll help you to find him(,)" Reggie the Rat told him cheerfully
I don't think so," mumbled(no comma needed) Tommy Mouse
Tommy Mouse running (alongside) him to keep up
they even asked the birds that were (sitting)/ (that sat) on the branches if
"You must be very quiet(,) though," whispered
making even more noise(.) (I)t was a nightmare
beaker of (homemade) berry juice.
you something(,)" (t)he eldest elf said, coming
you come and visit us(,)" (o)ne of the elves told them as they waved
"We hope we see you again (some day)."
(T)hen without warning, they were gone, just disappeared. (Try not to start a sentence with 'but' or 'and'.)
on, you two!" (y)elled Timmy Mouse, making the other two jump(,) "I'll race you both home!"
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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I shall have to keep you on my shoulder, Sonali, you can check my work as I go along!! LOL, Thank you so very much, you are an angel! xsx Sandra
Comment from Aussie
I enjoyed your transition from rhyme - a neat little story for the children to read and wonder what happened to Timmy Mouse - hide and seek is a favourite game for kids anyway. Well done Sugar Plum!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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I enjoyed your transition from rhyme - a neat little story for the children to read and wonder what happened to Timmy Mouse - hide and seek is a favourite game for kids anyway. Well done Sugar Plum!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thank you Kay, I used to play that game with my friends and I was useless at hiding. So glad you liked the story. How are you? Lots of love, Sandra
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I haven't been well - thus no writing. Weather will get cooler from now on - how are you?
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I am sorry, what's the matter? I know you have lots of medical problems, is it an on-going one, or something new? Your weather is too hot, ours is wet and windy. Doesn't matter what we have, if it's in excess, it gets us down. My knee is getting worse, so I will have to go back to the doctors, just have been so down in the dumps and busy doing horrible things. But there are loads worse off than me, mine are just minor irritations compared to some, yours included. Take care of yourself, Kay. Sending lots of love. Sandra
Comment from Nosha17
Cute little animal adventure story. Your characters are very sweet and the descriptions are nicely detailed. The dialogue is lively and it flows along at a nice steady pace. Kids should love it. Most enjoyable. Faye
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Cute little animal adventure story. Your characters are very sweet and the descriptions are nicely detailed. The dialogue is lively and it flows along at a nice steady pace. Kids should love it. Most enjoyable. Faye
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Faye. I'm delighted you enjoyed it. :) Sandra
Comment from heyjude
Sandra, you are so clever with these cute stories for
children. I enjoy them, too. You show them helping
one another. Reggie is kind and helpful to his friend.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Sandra, you are so clever with these cute stories for
children. I enjoy them, too. You show them helping
one another. Reggie is kind and helpful to his friend.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much my dear friend. Your review is so nice, I'm delighted you enjoyed the story! :) Sandra xsx
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Sandra, I really love the interactions you create for these stories. Whether they are done as poetry or done in prose. I felt the heart tugging fear in Tommy's heart. You also felt Reggie's concern for his friend. Finding Timmy was a pleasurable moments as the elves exposed themselves to Tommy and Reggie. Now, a new bond of friendship has been formed. Once again Sandra this is an excellently written story. Love you my friend,,,,,,,Jim xoxo
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Sandra, I really love the interactions you create for these stories. Whether they are done as poetry or done in prose. I felt the heart tugging fear in Tommy's heart. You also felt Reggie's concern for his friend. Finding Timmy was a pleasurable moments as the elves exposed themselves to Tommy and Reggie. Now, a new bond of friendship has been formed. Once again Sandra this is an excellently written story. Love you my friend,,,,,,,Jim xoxo
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Jim! What a lovely review. How are you now? I expect you are still very sore. Take care, my dear friend. With love, Sandra. xx
Comment from Just Pete
I love reading these stories, they take me back to my own childhood. You do such a great job with these. It's like an animated cartoon running through my head. This one has just the right amount of tension for children (like me) , to keep the reader or listener's attention. Afine piece of writing.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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I love reading these stories, they take me back to my own childhood. You do such a great job with these. It's like an animated cartoon running through my head. This one has just the right amount of tension for children (like me) , to keep the reader or listener's attention. Afine piece of writing.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Pete, for another amazing review and for the lovely 6 stars! Your encouragement means such a lot to me! I hope you don't get fed-up, I have lots more on the way! LOL. :) Sandra.
Comment from James Chaima Phiri
A very interesting story. I would consider this to be a folktale. It is sweet and entertaining. It amazes me to note that what is considered to be something for children, is also loved by adults. I have not noticed any errors.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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A very interesting story. I would consider this to be a folktale. It is sweet and entertaining. It amazes me to note that what is considered to be something for children, is also loved by adults. I have not noticed any errors.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, James! :) Sandra. :) xsx Sandra
Comment from 24chas
I enjoyed this story very much, sandramitchell. It had great narration and dialogue. I know children would love it, cause I sure did. Nice job.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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I enjoyed this story very much, sandramitchell. It had great narration and dialogue. I know children would love it, cause I sure did. Nice job.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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thank you, Chas, I am so glad you enjoyed this story. We all have a bit of the child inside us, thank goodness! :) Sandra. xsx
