From out of the Grayness
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Carpathias Dream: by: His Grayness"Reaching from the gray areas to understand life
24 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent use of metaphor with a journey on the high seas: charts, lost, adrift, torn sails. Is "lip" in the last line a nautical term? Love the personification of the Titanic.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Excellent use of metaphor with a journey on the high seas: charts, lost, adrift, torn sails. Is "lip" in the last line a nautical term? Love the personification of the Titanic.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Dear Shari: thank you for the great review and as always, it is a delight to hear from you. Lip was meant to represent plural and rhyme with ship. I wrote this when I was a kid and just found it when cleaning up some old papers. Vance
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Vance
I love how you metaphorically wrote how once you life was in a rurmoil when you were younger and using the sinking of the Titanic .
ex.
Fouls my charts in blinding storm
Then at once I am lost-adrift
Alone with all my life's sails torn
Companion of my own destiny
Gert
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Hello Vance
I love how you metaphorically wrote how once you life was in a rurmoil when you were younger and using the sinking of the Titanic .
ex.
Fouls my charts in blinding storm
Then at once I am lost-adrift
Alone with all my life's sails torn
Companion of my own destiny
Gert
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Dear Gert: Thanks so very much for the generous rating and I'm a bit tickled to think back when I wrote this and realize now it was good enough for a modern day excellent rating! all puffed up over here!!! Ta Ta! Bless you dearest! Vance
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You are welcome Vance time for you to look through your old writings.
Gert
Comment from jadapenn
A very intense poem. The SOS screams out. This is a super metaphorical poem. Our lives are very much like the great Titanic. We think we can do it alone but there comes a day when we have to reach out to some distant ship to aid us. Life is not a bed of roses at all. Well penned. Luv jada
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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A very intense poem. The SOS screams out. This is a super metaphorical poem. Our lives are very much like the great Titanic. We think we can do it alone but there comes a day when we have to reach out to some distant ship to aid us. Life is not a bed of roses at all. Well penned. Luv jada
Comment Written 03-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Dear jada: so nice to hear from you and greatly appreciate your kind review!! Don't be a stranger....Blessings Vance
Comment from c_lucas
Sometimes life can be like the Titanic with its own iceberg. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Sometimes life can be like the Titanic with its own iceberg. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Thank you clucas your review is greatly appreciated! Many thanks HIS GRAYNESS
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You're welcome, H G. Charlie
Comment from val fitchie
AMAZING STARTLING ORIGIONAL PHRASES(Every protein in my mass
Churns at the axle of desire........ Fouls my charts in blinding storm )NOBODY comes up with your descriptions/metaphors-not even in all the paralell universes
Do you realize just how SINGULAR your talent is?
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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AMAZING STARTLING ORIGIONAL PHRASES(Every protein in my mass
Churns at the axle of desire........ Fouls my charts in blinding storm )NOBODY comes up with your descriptions/metaphors-not even in all the paralell universes
Do you realize just how SINGULAR your talent is?
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Dear Val...so glad to see you back and really delighted that you liked this one. Believe it or not, I found this a couple days ago cleaning up some old papers from my younger days. I was just a kid when I wrote this, feeling the whole world was against me etc. etc. like some youngsters feel. Anyway, thought I would revive it so found the photo and dropped it in! So I'm super glad you liked it and thanks also for your glowing encouragements. Welcome Back!!! Vance
Comment from SLHarper
Dearest Vance, I love the strong metaphor screaming (voiceless) SOS throughout your poem. I also enjoyed the imagery of the comfort -- the possiblility of death and rescue being synonymous/equivalent for a soul in distress -- coming like "Daddy's hand... Upon my Childhead;" the capitalization of Childhead drives home the sense of both helplessness and innocence that even as adults, human beings must at times endure. For our entire lives, we count on our ability to dream of the Carpathias. Very well done. Yours, Steph
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Dearest Vance, I love the strong metaphor screaming (voiceless) SOS throughout your poem. I also enjoyed the imagery of the comfort -- the possiblility of death and rescue being synonymous/equivalent for a soul in distress -- coming like "Daddy's hand... Upon my Childhead;" the capitalization of Childhead drives home the sense of both helplessness and innocence that even as adults, human beings must at times endure. For our entire lives, we count on our ability to dream of the Carpathias. Very well done. Yours, Steph
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Wow Steph...what a wonderful review and so much appreciated! Have'nt hear from you in a while but so glad to see you again. Blessings and seriously...Thanks, Vance
Comment from Glasstruth
Seeing life as a storm and life's sails torn is a beautifully sad metaphor. Great enjambment. Had to double check to see if it rhymes. Got lost in your storm. Superb! Les
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Seeing life as a storm and life's sails torn is a beautifully sad metaphor. Great enjambment. Had to double check to see if it rhymes. Got lost in your storm. Superb! Les
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Hi Les: nice to hear from you and thanks so much for this great review and generous rating. This is something I wrote many years ago and just found it in some old papers. There were some dark times back then so it brought back some hard memories which helps buff up the gratitude even though things are challenging again. Life goes on just like the weather! Thanks again!! Vance
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You welcome :)
Comment from Irish Rain
Wonderful poem about losing our way in life...which I seem to do daily, or maybe I just keep changing direction, either way, ships are lost for lack of a course...beautiful! Blessings today!
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Wonderful poem about losing our way in life...which I seem to do daily, or maybe I just keep changing direction, either way, ships are lost for lack of a course...beautiful! Blessings today!
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Dear Justjo: Genuine thanks and appreciation for your lovely review and blessing which I offer to you in return! Vance
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you are so welcome!
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good description that creates a clear image in my mind. Good alliteration with my/mass. Good end rhyming. Good simile use with like Daddy's hand to say his goodbye. Good complimentary photo followed by a heart touching message.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Good description that creates a clear image in my mind. Good alliteration with my/mass. Good end rhyming. Good simile use with like Daddy's hand to say his goodbye. Good complimentary photo followed by a heart touching message.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much Righteous Riter....it is always a delight to get you reviews and encouraging messages. Best wishes and thanks1 Vance
Comment from tbacha58
Then at once I am lost-adrift
Alone with all my life's sails torn
Companion of my own destiny
Willing now even to kneel, and cry
Reality comes at last to comfort me
Hi Vance, a very sad poem, written from anxiety, which I was not used to read from you such a negative poem. Life`s changes sometimes takes its toll, but your faith and positiveness should wait, as always change is at a corner waiting to re appear. I pray soon you would feel and look at yesterdays pain, is fast gone today. Take care,
Much love, we are here for you. Hugs Terry xoxoxo
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Then at once I am lost-adrift
Alone with all my life's sails torn
Companion of my own destiny
Willing now even to kneel, and cry
Reality comes at last to comfort me
Hi Vance, a very sad poem, written from anxiety, which I was not used to read from you such a negative poem. Life`s changes sometimes takes its toll, but your faith and positiveness should wait, as always change is at a corner waiting to re appear. I pray soon you would feel and look at yesterdays pain, is fast gone today. Take care,
Much love, we are here for you. Hugs Terry xoxoxo
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Dear Terry: I ,wrote this when I was very young and just found it in some old papers so I decided to post it. Yes, right now life is very challenging in many ways but my faith is stronger than any of it. Thanks for your love and caring responses! Love and blessings dear friend! Vance
