Idle Chatter
Some people love to ramble on16 total reviews
Comment from lindalcreel
I think we call that flight of ideas. My sisters and I can have a lot of conversations like that, and we always can stay on track with the conversation, though many times our husbands have to leave the room. lol
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
I think we call that flight of ideas. My sisters and I can have a lot of conversations like that, and we always can stay on track with the conversation, though many times our husbands have to leave the room. lol
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
-
Thank you for reading my little poem. Smile. It's only 2 cents now. So I'm delighted that people are still reviewing it. Smile
-
My pleasure:)
Comment from JM daSilva
This is a great poem in many ways. It depicts the different misadventures of life and the first line about a friend who died was great. It drew me right in.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
This is a great poem in many ways. It depicts the different misadventures of life and the first line about a friend who died was great. It drew me right in.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
-
Thank you so much JM. So glad to have you back reviewing my work.
-
I'm glad too.
Comment from Mastery
Now this is a refreshing difference in the sound of most poems, my friend. I love it. I started to go back, because I thought I missed something until I caught on. Very good images all the way through, like:
"I started to refuse, but saw death smoldering
in the crack of his eyes."
Perhaps I would have called it "Yakkity-Yak" LOL..
Good job, Amahra. Bob
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
Now this is a refreshing difference in the sound of most poems, my friend. I love it. I started to go back, because I thought I missed something until I caught on. Very good images all the way through, like:
"I started to refuse, but saw death smoldering
in the crack of his eyes."
Perhaps I would have called it "Yakkity-Yak" LOL..
Good job, Amahra. Bob
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
-
Yakkity-Yak...LOL Thank you Bob, I'm glad you love it.
Comment from Spitfire
What a strange and unique write. I see a play on words in the title as each stanza in some way mentions an idol:
like the crown of an Egyptian prince.
fifty cent pieces with Kennedy's head on them
"Please Don't Step On My Friend."
An enjoyable and different read. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
What a strange and unique write. I see a play on words in the title as each stanza in some way mentions an idol:
like the crown of an Egyptian prince.
fifty cent pieces with Kennedy's head on them
"Please Don't Step On My Friend."
An enjoyable and different read. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
-
Thank you Spitfire. I'm glad you enjoyed the reading.
Comment from Titanx9
This one is funny, Amahra, as it reminds me of a dear friend of mine who always talk as though she's speaking from a stream of consciousness. One could never have a serious and cogent conversation with her. I use to think she had some type of personality disorder until I realized that disorganized thinking was just the way she was wired. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
This one is funny, Amahra, as it reminds me of a dear friend of mine who always talk as though she's speaking from a stream of consciousness. One could never have a serious and cogent conversation with her. I use to think she had some type of personality disorder until I realized that disorganized thinking was just the way she was wired. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
-
Thank you Titanx9 for this fine review. I'm glad you found it amusing.
Comment from Sam Mendonca
I can certainly related to your poem. I have a niece who does just as your poem content portrays. I often have to ask what she is talking about.
Very well written. :D
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
I can certainly related to your poem. I have a niece who does just as your poem content portrays. I often have to ask what she is talking about.
Very well written. :D
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
-
Thank you D. I'm glad you could relate to the poem.
Comment from marijmd
Interesting read - almost like a stream of conscious piece. Why does she write my friend instead of my father on the note? Just curious.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
Interesting read - almost like a stream of conscious piece. Why does she write my friend instead of my father on the note? Just curious.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
-
You're the second person to asked that. My father was also my best friend. Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate your reading me.
Comment from pbroussard209
lol, This sound so much like me. I'm really not much of a talker more of an observer, but when I talk, I guess I have lost the ability to carrying on real conversations as I seem to jump from topic to topic.
Loved this.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
lol, This sound so much like me. I'm really not much of a talker more of an observer, but when I talk, I guess I have lost the ability to carrying on real conversations as I seem to jump from topic to topic.
Loved this.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
-
Yeah, me too. LOL Thank you for this fine review.
Comment from padumachitta
Hello. I like this poem. It is likes stop a random bus stop.
Your notes remind me of the song Ode to Billy Joe. It was a social commentary about how people can be cruel, just by their passing of conversation...
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
Hello. I like this poem. It is likes stop a random bus stop.
Your notes remind me of the song Ode to Billy Joe. It was a social commentary about how people can be cruel, just by their passing of conversation...
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
-
Ode to Billy Joe...Hmmm--smile. Thank you so much for your comment.
Comment from evrenios
This is a very cute idea - disconnected conversation pieces. I truly enjoyed it. The stories are truly interesting as well - especially the last one about the woman who rolled her father over to the tree. I have a question, however - if the man was her father, why refer to him as "My friend"???
The second stanza has a minor edit: The oldest thing(s) I have in my house
are fifty cent pieces with Kennedy's head on them. I don't think you have to italicize the "crack" - It is obvious enough that the reader will have a good time discovering the reference for herself. You don't need to draw our attention to it. In a way, it underestimates your readers.
My favorite stanza was the first one about the snake. Very original! I would love to give you a five - but with the two edits, I have to give a four. Sorry about that - Your poem deserves more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
This is a very cute idea - disconnected conversation pieces. I truly enjoyed it. The stories are truly interesting as well - especially the last one about the woman who rolled her father over to the tree. I have a question, however - if the man was her father, why refer to him as "My friend"???
The second stanza has a minor edit: The oldest thing(s) I have in my house
are fifty cent pieces with Kennedy's head on them. I don't think you have to italicize the "crack" - It is obvious enough that the reader will have a good time discovering the reference for herself. You don't need to draw our attention to it. In a way, it underestimates your readers.
My favorite stanza was the first one about the snake. Very original! I would love to give you a five - but with the two edits, I have to give a four. Sorry about that - Your poem deserves more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
-
Thank you for being honest. I will go over it and make the change. You're right about crack. I've changed it back so many times, but just wasn't sure.
-
Oh, also I've often heard people say that their Mom or Dad was also their best friend and that they could tell them anything. I know my father was that to me, among other things.