Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Sunka Moon, Part 1"Murder Mystery
56 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
The hair stands on his fog-damped neck
The sungmanitu growls
Without a clue of what to do
Ty stiffles his own howls
Once more we follow in the fog
as though we were in action
We share the grief for Tony's dog
and suffer cruel infraction.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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The hair stands on his fog-damped neck
The sungmanitu growls
Without a clue of what to do
Ty stiffles his own howls
Once more we follow in the fog
as though we were in action
We share the grief for Tony's dog
and suffer cruel infraction.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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I love this. Thank you for your creative response to my chapter, Norbanus. And you rewarded me with an understanding about how hard it was to 'kill off' Wasu! :0) Bev
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting piece of writing from the author in this post. It reminds me of the film, "Thunderheart." Val Kilmer was an unbelievably white indian even if he was only part indian. This is more believable.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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This is an interesting piece of writing from the author in this post. It reminds me of the film, "Thunderheart." Val Kilmer was an unbelievably white indian even if he was only part indian. This is more believable.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Tomes, thank you for your great insights. As it turns out, Val Kilmer is Native American - at least in part. Thanks for reminding me I need to revisit a movie I saw many 'moons' ago.
:0) Bev
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Wow! That is interesting.
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:0)
Comment from Aussie
veneer of control - loved that description. Crikey! Now I'm shaking in my boots as the painted devil dog approached the car...eek! Wasu sure copped the lot - yuk! One of your best chapters with plenty of gore and scary action. Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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veneer of control - loved that description. Crikey! Now I'm shaking in my boots as the painted devil dog approached the car...eek! Wasu sure copped the lot - yuk! One of your best chapters with plenty of gore and scary action. Well done.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Hi, Kaye. What a terrific review. Thank you for getting where I'm going and hanging in there with me. Your six stars are icing on the cake, my friend. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Rondeno
I was THERE, Bev. I had no sense of reading words off a screen, at all. I was totally gripped. That's writing. You had me THERE! (Sorry I don't have a six for you ...)
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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I was THERE, Bev. I had no sense of reading words off a screen, at all. I was totally gripped. That's writing. You had me THERE! (Sorry I don't have a six for you ...)
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Aw, buddy, your words are all the stars I need 'cause you know the level of respect I have for you. Thanks so much, Mikey.
XXXOOOxxoo Bev
Comment from CR Delport
Another very gripping chapter that is very well written and makes for an excellent read. Just one thing is spotted:
dispatched his weapon and set his boots --- this makes it sound like he got rid of his weapon, instead of drawing his gun.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Another very gripping chapter that is very well written and makes for an excellent read. Just one thing is spotted:
dispatched his weapon and set his boots --- this makes it sound like he got rid of his weapon, instead of drawing his gun.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, CR. I'll make that correction pronto! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Writingfundimension,
Wow, now there's some chilling stuff emerging here, poor dog, died for doing its duty and failed. I can't give this less than a six for the great tension you built into the encounter on the bed and the really chilling hook on the end.
OK, there is one small correction I think. You have -
had a muzzle and wicked sharp teeth, it resembled a four-legged (what?). But its lips
There seems to be a word omitted where I've stuck my 'what?'
Patrick
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Hi Writingfundimension,
Wow, now there's some chilling stuff emerging here, poor dog, died for doing its duty and failed. I can't give this less than a six for the great tension you built into the encounter on the bed and the really chilling hook on the end.
OK, there is one small correction I think. You have -
had a muzzle and wicked sharp teeth, it resembled a four-legged (what?). But its lips
There seems to be a word omitted where I've stuck my 'what?'
Patrick
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2014
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Hi, Patrick. Thanks so much for this very generous six star rating and gracious review. I debated using the Indian term for wolves and other other such animal - four leggeds. I think I'll just stick with the straight-forward description. Your help is much appreciated! Regards, Bev
