A Cyrano Scenario
A modern Cyrano de Bergerac...with a twist49 total reviews
Comment from Dom G Robles
I suppose the poem is written in pentameter. It is to me, excellent and flows smoothly. The writer had composed a verse for her friend confident that it would shine when read in the intended show or program. There is one comment I wanted to ask, however. In the third stanza where it says: But HE is shy, unsure of the girls like this. (Is the writer referring to the same girl? If so, then it should be a SHE which would run like this: But she is shy... (My curiosity for the person referred) Congratulations.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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I suppose the poem is written in pentameter. It is to me, excellent and flows smoothly. The writer had composed a verse for her friend confident that it would shine when read in the intended show or program. There is one comment I wanted to ask, however. In the third stanza where it says: But HE is shy, unsure of the girls like this. (Is the writer referring to the same girl? If so, then it should be a SHE which would run like this: But she is shy... (My curiosity for the person referred) Congratulations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thank you, Dom. Actually, a male writer (me) wrote it for another male (the He you're referring to), so it's actually me saying that he (my friend) is shy, unsure of girls like her...if that makes sense.
Thanks so much for the review, Dom, and yes, it's written in iambic pentameter.
Comment from Petriesan
I have had that happen a lot, a great line with nowhere to go
But he is shy, unsure of girls like this, - the male condition in general, hmmmmm
niec piece, glad you saved the line
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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I have had that happen a lot, a great line with nowhere to go
But he is shy, unsure of girls like this, - the male condition in general, hmmmmm
niec piece, glad you saved the line
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Petriesan. I am, too, as I like this piece much better than the last one I had of the same title.
Comment from Acquired Taste
Every time I read one of your offerings, I end up with Webster and Roget's at my side!
Love your take on Cyrano - will you incorporate that into your Rogue personae?
As always, very nicely done. AT=/
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Every time I read one of your offerings, I end up with Webster and Roget's at my side!
Love your take on Cyrano - will you incorporate that into your Rogue personae?
As always, very nicely done. AT=/
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, AT. Cyrano isn't really a rogue, but since I bastardized this story, I guess I could do the same for the Rogue's Gallery. ;-) I appreciate the idea.
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Well, I was looking at the perhaps "softer" side of Rogue - unlike Cyrano I thought that might not coming naturally. :) AT=/
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There will be that when I feel the need to make them feel sorry for him. ;-) You're brilliant!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
You've told the tale well in sonnet form, but with more stanzas. You seem so at ease with iambic pentameter... never felt natural to me, so I envy folks like you who are comfortable with it.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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You've told the tale well in sonnet form, but with more stanzas. You seem so at ease with iambic pentameter... never felt natural to me, so I envy folks like you who are comfortable with it.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Phyllis. I actually was going to make it a sonnet, but liked an entire quatrain better than the couplet I'd come up with, so I went with that. I believe I think in iambic pentameter, actually. ;-) Much appreciated, my friend. David
Comment from Norbanus
Our hero to the rescue, just in time
to save the face of his dependant friend.
After all, he conjured up this rhyme
and rightly earned the fruits which might descend.
It's said that all is fair in war and love
But where's the fair if some ungrateful thief
Swoops in to claim position with a shove,
and leaves the bard deprived with no relief
So what if she was first within his sight
That stolen verse he clutches in his hand
demands an explanation (or a fight)
On seeing her, it's time to take a stand.
So give me back my rhymes and stand aside
Or you and I will face a great divide
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Our hero to the rescue, just in time
to save the face of his dependant friend.
After all, he conjured up this rhyme
and rightly earned the fruits which might descend.
It's said that all is fair in war and love
But where's the fair if some ungrateful thief
Swoops in to claim position with a shove,
and leaves the bard deprived with no relief
So what if she was first within his sight
That stolen verse he clutches in his hand
demands an explanation (or a fight)
On seeing her, it's time to take a stand.
So give me back my rhymes and stand aside
Or you and I will face a great divide
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Yes, sir! That's EXACTLY right! I have no qualms about claiming my words as my own rather than turn them over to a dolt who will waste them! Many thanks, Fred, for your typically brilliant versifications in reviews. I enjoy them. David
Comment from kiwisteveh
But as I stand to start my climb to bliss,
Alas, my nose is pricked upon a thorn
And she whose luscious lips I longed to kiss
Sees fit to mock my love with laugh of scorn...
Loved the title and the twisted tale.
Steve
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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But as I stand to start my climb to bliss,
Alas, my nose is pricked upon a thorn
And she whose luscious lips I longed to kiss
Sees fit to mock my love with laugh of scorn...
Loved the title and the twisted tale.
Steve
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much for the laugh, Steve, and for the nice review.
Comment from Just2Write
Cyrano, of course was a much renouned man of love. (All kinds, I think)
I enjoyed your write, and thank you for introducing me to the term Aubades. I looked it up. I also looked up Cyrano - as all I recalled of him was that he had a big nose. That too, was an interesting read.
I liked how the speaker in this poem (Cyrano?) is a guy trying to help a buddy win the love of the gal on the balcony, and once he sees her, wonders if he should forego the friend and go for her himself.
Nice little twists - and of course, great poetry.
Rose.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Cyrano, of course was a much renouned man of love. (All kinds, I think)
I enjoyed your write, and thank you for introducing me to the term Aubades. I looked it up. I also looked up Cyrano - as all I recalled of him was that he had a big nose. That too, was an interesting read.
I liked how the speaker in this poem (Cyrano?) is a guy trying to help a buddy win the love of the gal on the balcony, and once he sees her, wonders if he should forego the friend and go for her himself.
Nice little twists - and of course, great poetry.
Rose.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, my friend, for your great review, and for caring enough to look up the term and the character. That means a lot.
I love taking existing stories, and then placing a modern take on them, and I appreciate you taking the time, Rose. :)
Comment from vapros
With slick rhyme and cadence, you have presented readers with a complex romantic plot. Poor Roxane might be surprised, or at least confused, by the shmuck who knocks at her bedroom door tonight. Pretty sneaky, but neat. Good on you.
Bill
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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With slick rhyme and cadence, you have presented readers with a complex romantic plot. Poor Roxane might be surprised, or at least confused, by the shmuck who knocks at her bedroom door tonight. Pretty sneaky, but neat. Good on you.
Bill
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Bill, for your sixer, my friend, and for your great review. I LOVE Roxanne, and the original story, too. I appreciate your wonderful review.
Comment from padumachitta
But he is shy, unsure of girls like this,
And, as the scribe, I know of what I speak;
Hi, This alway reminds me of a movie(forgot the name)..with Steve Martin. He played amdern day fella with a large nose. Good movie.
anyway, yet another good poem...poor shy fella. Not you of course:-)
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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But he is shy, unsure of girls like this,
And, as the scribe, I know of what I speak;
Hi, This alway reminds me of a movie(forgot the name)..with Steve Martin. He played amdern day fella with a large nose. Good movie.
anyway, yet another good poem...poor shy fella. Not you of course:-)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, pad, as always, for your great review, and I LOVED the movie, Roxanne, which was an excellent take on the story. Many thanks, my friend!
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
I do remember that title from before. You have penned this well but how often do you hear that in a day? With as much as you have been writing I'm pretty sure you are hearing it a lot. I like that I'll scale her battlements, nice job.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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I do remember that title from before. You have penned this well but how often do you hear that in a day? With as much as you have been writing I'm pretty sure you are hearing it a lot. I like that I'll scale her battlements, nice job.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, my friend. You can never hear it enough, but I imagine most people here hear that a lot, if you know what I mean. But with you, I know the sincerity and I appreciate it.
