Broken Promises
A lost friend5 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
I know this doesn't fit the 5-7-5 syllable format for the contest, but it's still a moving poem. I prefer poems that rhyme, actually. So I like it in its current format. And since Tom doesn't pay me to review contest rules, I don't care. I'm giving you a six for this heart-felt moving poem about a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I hope you find good friendships -- people who support you in your times of need.
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I know this doesn't fit the 5-7-5 syllable format for the contest, but it's still a moving poem. I prefer poems that rhyme, actually. So I like it in its current format. And since Tom doesn't pay me to review contest rules, I don't care. I'm giving you a six for this heart-felt moving poem about a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I hope you find good friendships -- people who support you in your times of need.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
Comment from c_lucas
I don't believe you have a good concept for a 5-7-5. The following I am quoting you fro Fanstory Poetry Dances.
On the front page, click on home on the purple line.
Home>poetry dancing> type of poetry>5-7-5 and I quote:
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5-7-5
A 5-7-5 follows the structure of a Haiku. It has three lines. The first line has 5 syllables. The second line has 7 syllables. The third line has 5 syllables again.
While a Senryu, is primarily concerned with human nature. A Haiku, primarily concerned with physical nature. A 5-7-5 poem is a free form with the only limitation being the syllable count. It could be about anything, from food to writing, feelings to phobias.
Example
5-7-5 Example
Don't eat yellow snow (5 syllables)
It's not healthy as you know (7 syllables)
Besides, it tastes bad! (5 syllables)
- written by starkat
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A 5-7-5 from your own words:
Friends are forever (5)
I come pleading asking "Why?" (7)
We drifted apart (&)
******
This is not a strong 5-7-5, but I trust it will give you an idea. I wish you well in your poetry endeavors.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2014
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I don't believe you have a good concept for a 5-7-5. The following I am quoting you fro Fanstory Poetry Dances.
On the front page, click on home on the purple line.
Home>poetry dancing> type of poetry>5-7-5 and I quote:
****
5-7-5
A 5-7-5 follows the structure of a Haiku. It has three lines. The first line has 5 syllables. The second line has 7 syllables. The third line has 5 syllables again.
While a Senryu, is primarily concerned with human nature. A Haiku, primarily concerned with physical nature. A 5-7-5 poem is a free form with the only limitation being the syllable count. It could be about anything, from food to writing, feelings to phobias.
Example
5-7-5 Example
Don't eat yellow snow (5 syllables)
It's not healthy as you know (7 syllables)
Besides, it tastes bad! (5 syllables)
- written by starkat
******
A 5-7-5 from your own words:
Friends are forever (5)
I come pleading asking "Why?" (7)
We drifted apart (&)
******
This is not a strong 5-7-5, but I trust it will give you an idea. I wish you well in your poetry endeavors.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2014
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I know I messed it up. Im a writer not a poet but my friend told me to try my hand at poetry and so I did. I can now go back and tell her that I suck at it haha.
Comment from adewpearl
Stephanie, you have misunderstood the rules for the 5/7/5 form
You need three lines
The first line has 5 syllables
The second line has 7 syllables
The third line has 5 syllables
typo in spelling used in first line
good alliteration in forever friendship
compelling expression of soulful emotion
it's my choice - add apostrophe for contraction of it is
It's my turn - add apostrophe
A thoughtful poem, just not the form asked for
Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2014
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Stephanie, you have misunderstood the rules for the 5/7/5 form
You need three lines
The first line has 5 syllables
The second line has 7 syllables
The third line has 5 syllables
typo in spelling used in first line
good alliteration in forever friendship
compelling expression of soulful emotion
it's my choice - add apostrophe for contraction of it is
It's my turn - add apostrophe
A thoughtful poem, just not the form asked for
Brooke
Comment Written 19-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2014
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I am more of a writer than a poet :( I am much better at short stories but my friends told me to try my hand at poetry... I should tell them Im aweful at it haha.
Comment from GracieAnn
stephanie, I'm a little confused. Here are the rules for the contest.
"A 5-7-5 follows the structure of a Haiku but without any limitation to the topic. While a Senryu, is primarily concerned with human nature. A Haiku, primarily concerned with physical nature. A 5-7-5 poem is a free form with the only limitation being the syllable count.
So have fun with the 5-7-5 poetry type. But it must follow the proper syllable count. A 5-7-5 poem has three lines. The first line has 5 syllables. The second line has 7 syllables. The third line has 5 syllables again.
Example
Don't eat yellow snow (5 syllables)
It's not healthy as you know (7 syllables)
Besides, it tastes bad! (5 syllables)
- written by starkat
I think you may want to take a look at your write and pare it down to fit the 3 line requirement. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2014
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stephanie, I'm a little confused. Here are the rules for the contest.
"A 5-7-5 follows the structure of a Haiku but without any limitation to the topic. While a Senryu, is primarily concerned with human nature. A Haiku, primarily concerned with physical nature. A 5-7-5 poem is a free form with the only limitation being the syllable count.
So have fun with the 5-7-5 poetry type. But it must follow the proper syllable count. A 5-7-5 poem has three lines. The first line has 5 syllables. The second line has 7 syllables. The third line has 5 syllables again.
Example
Don't eat yellow snow (5 syllables)
It's not healthy as you know (7 syllables)
Besides, it tastes bad! (5 syllables)
- written by starkat
I think you may want to take a look at your write and pare it down to fit the 3 line requirement. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 19-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2014
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Thank you for your insite. Much appreciation.
Comment from darla1977
I like the last verse the best. The rest was nice, it just didn't leave me in awe. It didn't flow well from verse to verse. It could be reworked into a five without much difficulty.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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I like the last verse the best. The rest was nice, it just didn't leave me in awe. It didn't flow well from verse to verse. It could be reworked into a five without much difficulty.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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Thank you for your kind words. I love poetry but I cant get it rite for some reason. I am a writer more than a poet.
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Don't be discouraged! Feel free to visit my portfolio and pick it apart! None of us get everything right every time!
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I am hoping to get better and thank you offering your portfolio for helpful tips. I appreciate it.
