A Monumental Pain
To veterans...everywhere43 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
Fabulous tribute to the fallen heroes, and those left behind who remember with pride and sadness, David.
Bit of a stretch slant-rhyme with 'bomb/Vietnam, but it still fits in seamlessly to your excellent ABAB rhyme scheme - much more difficult to perfect than ABCB of course.
Your usual maestro touch worthy of my sixer now I have some new ones available.
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Fabulous tribute to the fallen heroes, and those left behind who remember with pride and sadness, David.
Bit of a stretch slant-rhyme with 'bomb/Vietnam, but it still fits in seamlessly to your excellent ABAB rhyme scheme - much more difficult to perfect than ABCB of course.
Your usual maestro touch worthy of my sixer now I have some new ones available.
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, my friend, for that sixer and the great review. I think we may a pronunciation difference on bomb/Nam, as we pronounce it bahm/nahm here, so it's probably a cultural thing. Do you pronounce Vietnam so it would rhyme with yam?
I appreciate you investing a sixer on this, my friend.
Comment from robina1978
I think I might recognise the statue. Very well done dedicating it to all veterans. The veteran's pain is often not talked about, sad enough
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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I think I might recognise the statue. Very well done dedicating it to all veterans. The veteran's pain is often not talked about, sad enough
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, my friend. This is the statue depicted the raising of the flag on Iwo Jima, where my great uncle fought.
Comment from comanalbert
We had no wars in the last 50 years and I had no grandfather to tell me....Yet we had a one year mandatory military service...That felt like war and steeled me into a man...
Loved this one!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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We had no wars in the last 50 years and I had no grandfather to tell me....Yet we had a one year mandatory military service...That felt like war and steeled me into a man...
Loved this one!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, my friend. I appreciate it.
Comment from Katzintx
Just a beautiful expression of emotion and memory for those who know the true price of war. Shame this cannot be published so that those who know may see. Katz
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Just a beautiful expression of emotion and memory for those who know the true price of war. Shame this cannot be published so that those who know may see. Katz
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Katz, for catching up. I really appreciate it. David
Comment from padumachitta
a sense of brotherhood unlocks the door
to every veteran's unspoken pain
Hi. I like the poem. I just hate war and everything to do with it. A shame we have to have memorials to begin with...still those our my feelings.
The poem is well writtne and brings emotion to the metal image.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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a sense of brotherhood unlocks the door
to every veteran's unspoken pain
Hi. I like the poem. I just hate war and everything to do with it. A shame we have to have memorials to begin with...still those our my feelings.
The poem is well writtne and brings emotion to the metal image.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Pad. I really appreciate it! David
Comment from 3boysrule
This was a very deep poem. It flowed very well, with rhythm that worked. It's so sad to see so many military get shipped off. My husband was one of them.
Dee
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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This was a very deep poem. It flowed very well, with rhythm that worked. It's so sad to see so many military get shipped off. My husband was one of them.
Dee
Comment Written 15-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Dee. I appreciate it.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh David, this brings tears to my eyes...I have a dear friend who is a Vietnam vet, and others I know who are serving right now...it's a debt we civilians can never pay, and for this reason alone, these men and women deserve our utmost respect.
What a truly fabulous tribute this poem is - again I have no sixes, but you KNOW this deserves the highest rating possible!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Oh David, this brings tears to my eyes...I have a dear friend who is a Vietnam vet, and others I know who are serving right now...it's a debt we civilians can never pay, and for this reason alone, these men and women deserve our utmost respect.
What a truly fabulous tribute this poem is - again I have no sixes, but you KNOW this deserves the highest rating possible!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, my dear friend. I come from a military family, so we are represented in every branch and in ever war. I appreciate your great review and your virtual sixer.
Comment from Gloria ....
I guess you would have missed the Draft by a few years wouldn't you. Thank our lucky stars for that. It is unimaginable what those young men went through/go through; most of them just barely nineteen. I think you've captured that sense of brotherhood that only those who've lived it would know. A shared experience, albeit an horrific one, with lasting and damaging consequences.
I imagine the worst thing would be remembering shooting and killing civilians and not really understanding why you had to, but being so damned scared you'd just be trying to stay alive. Just bloody awful. Then to return home and nobody understands. I've known quite a few men from different wars and they would never ever talk about it at all. Heroes was word they never fully embraced.
Terrific write, David. You brought us to the edge of the abyss and thankfully didn't push us over.
Gloria
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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I guess you would have missed the Draft by a few years wouldn't you. Thank our lucky stars for that. It is unimaginable what those young men went through/go through; most of them just barely nineteen. I think you've captured that sense of brotherhood that only those who've lived it would know. A shared experience, albeit an horrific one, with lasting and damaging consequences.
I imagine the worst thing would be remembering shooting and killing civilians and not really understanding why you had to, but being so damned scared you'd just be trying to stay alive. Just bloody awful. Then to return home and nobody understands. I've known quite a few men from different wars and they would never ever talk about it at all. Heroes was word they never fully embraced.
Terrific write, David. You brought us to the edge of the abyss and thankfully didn't push us over.
Gloria
Comment Written 15-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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I did, and I feel grateful for that, Gloria, but I've had many family members, past and present, serve and die in the service of the country. They mean a lot to me. Thank you so much, my friend.
Comment from Dom G Robles
The poem immortalizes the pain and horrors of war. Memories of loved ones who were victims of the war in Europe or Far East are just things that we remember. According to the writer, films are in abundance regarding the war but do not portray very well the real happenings by those recreated versions. "The sounds and images survive the years... but barely capture well, the created versions...years in hell for those who trudge through the endless battle trails," the writer reminisced. My sincere congratulations.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2014
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The poem immortalizes the pain and horrors of war. Memories of loved ones who were victims of the war in Europe or Far East are just things that we remember. According to the writer, films are in abundance regarding the war but do not portray very well the real happenings by those recreated versions. "The sounds and images survive the years... but barely capture well, the created versions...years in hell for those who trudge through the endless battle trails," the writer reminisced. My sincere congratulations.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Dom. My sincere thanks. David
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You are very welcome, Marillion
Comment from closetpoetjester
Wow D, you are seriously emerging as a monumental talent and EVERYTIME I read you I see more layers. Are yous sure you're not an onion? LOL
Loved this dedicated piece of literature to those who served and gave others a legacy they can be proud of. I don't think ANYONE can imagine the horrors or war unless they've been in the thick of it.
You expressed the emotional gamut these guys run when they visit these types of memorials and the pain just comes flooding back. Well penned iambicly as always and in spite of the intense sadness within I still enjoyed the read immensely. I truly think this monument immoralises both the struggle and pain involved in war and teamwork required to defend your country etc at all costs. My favourite stanzas "the foxhole ditch" and the last one.
BTW over here we say BOM and NAM not BALM and NARM but I'll let you arff because you did such a wonderful justice to those men. I also enjoyed your informative notes which brought an extra element of emotion to your write, knowing you have family members directly affected by this.
Well done D.
Hugs P
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2014
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Wow D, you are seriously emerging as a monumental talent and EVERYTIME I read you I see more layers. Are yous sure you're not an onion? LOL
Loved this dedicated piece of literature to those who served and gave others a legacy they can be proud of. I don't think ANYONE can imagine the horrors or war unless they've been in the thick of it.
You expressed the emotional gamut these guys run when they visit these types of memorials and the pain just comes flooding back. Well penned iambicly as always and in spite of the intense sadness within I still enjoyed the read immensely. I truly think this monument immoralises both the struggle and pain involved in war and teamwork required to defend your country etc at all costs. My favourite stanzas "the foxhole ditch" and the last one.
BTW over here we say BOM and NAM not BALM and NARM but I'll let you arff because you did such a wonderful justice to those men. I also enjoyed your informative notes which brought an extra element of emotion to your write, knowing you have family members directly affected by this.
Well done D.
Hugs P
Comment Written 15-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2014
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Too kind, my friend. Way too kind. Perhaps I am an onion, and hopefully for the layers and not for the talent to make women cry. That would be the rogue. :-)
As always, I love your thoughts, even when we're going "real" for a moment or two...but hopefully not much longer than that. Still, I did write this in solemn reverence, and I appreciate what you've said about it. My family has served and bled more than most. Happy Sunday to you. I'm finishing off Saturday now.
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