Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treischel,
"Oh Dawn" is an excellent poem meeting the requirement of the Aubade form. It has a consistently followed rhyme scheme and good quality rhyme. It has good figurative language (when all dreams are gone.) It flows well.
Preston

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thank you Preston

Comment from rod007

Excellent

This is a wonderful message of lover's warmth in morn and then the sun slicing their lives as each walk away, but to return in the evening for more joy and comfort. Well done.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thank you rod.

Comment from Maureen's Pen

Excellent

This is beautiful Tom, lovely softer imagery which come as across stronger somehow. Loved the rhythm and rhyme which gave a seamless read.
Great job overall - I enjoyed the read.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thank you Maureen. I am so pleased you liked.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Very romantic look at dawn, "become aware when all dreams are gone" so that you can just look at her and start the day with a dream realized....after 3 cups of coffee.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thanks ravenblack. At least 2.5.

Comment from Capricorn30

Excellent

A well-penned Aubade poem;
"morning rays glow to light the sky"-- good visual imagery of a new day, each new dawn arriving with the promise of love.
A heartfelt writing appropriate for a Valentine card.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thank you Margaret. Good thought.

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

You were also inspired by this form, Very well, I must say and your rhymes as an extra, Excellent general layout. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thank you Ine, yes. I reviewed Sunilicious' and yours and thought I'd try one.

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Wow! Yet another format I have not seen before.
I love the simplicity of the word choices but the power of the words.
There is such a sense of endearment one for the other and comfort in knowing that there is an enduring love.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thank you Shirley. I do agree.

Comment from sunnilicious

Excellent

That came out lovely. It is very focused on the couple at the waking of the day. Well thought out with great visual imagery. Creative. Nice work.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thanks Alicia.

Comment from MoIronE13

Excellent

Great theme and rhyming skeem..
Beautiful images and words that flow with the message.
Parted but never a part..
Brilliant piece my friend..

Peace and Love +++

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014

Thank you so much MolronE

reply by MoIronE13 on 04-Feb-2014

most welcome..

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

As two souls hug and hold each other near
They kiss at break of day
Then part, as each must go their way.

A very good aubade and wonderful words. The parting at the break of dawn is so tragic.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014

Thank you Gungalo. But then the reunion is so sweet.

reply by Gungalo on 03-Feb-2014

Smile.