Inflection
Slow Dancing45 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, David.
Minor typo in notes, should read, 'both penned'.
Very romantic and fun read of the girl you can't forget.
Lovely examples of special times and cute embarrassing episodes in an obviously very special relationship, though you leave the 'parting' as a mystery as to why.
You have to be one of the BEST exponents of meter on sight, and none of your rhymes ever appear forced.
Excellent!
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
  |
Hi, David.
Minor typo in notes, should read, 'both penned'.
Very romantic and fun read of the girl you can't forget.
Lovely examples of special times and cute embarrassing episodes in an obviously very special relationship, though you leave the 'parting' as a mystery as to why.
You have to be one of the BEST exponents of meter on sight, and none of your rhymes ever appear forced.
Excellent!
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
-
Thanks for that, Ted. Those damn notes, man. I hate to even use them! I'll fix that straightaway, my friend.
Thanks so much for the kind words.
Comment from Glasstruth
Your Iambic Octameter has such a smooth sing-song sound. The rhyming is perfect. Sinatra gives this a touch of class. Can hear him now. I think I would cut one couplet out. The third one beginning with: "We lost ourselves..." The reason is I think it went on long enough. Beautifully written! Les
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
|
Your Iambic Octameter has such a smooth sing-song sound. The rhyming is perfect. Sinatra gives this a touch of class. Can hear him now. I think I would cut one couplet out. The third one beginning with: "We lost ourselves..." The reason is I think it went on long enough. Beautifully written! Les
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
-
Thank you so much, Les. I appreciate it. I'll take a look at that couplet to see if I can go without it.
Comment from Just Pete
A beautifully written poem that reads like the lyrics of a great song. I could imagine Sinatra singing those words with that unique and well-known voice. This was a pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
 |
A beautifully written poem that reads like the lyrics of a great song. I could imagine Sinatra singing those words with that unique and well-known voice. This was a pleasure to read.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
-
Thank you so much, Pete, for the kind sixer, and for your kind words. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Just2Write
An interesting study in couplets - with 8 iambs, no less.
Excellent word-smithing, David.
I got a bit hung in some of the lines, but that didn't detract much from the story unfolding in the poem.
This has been a great day for going back to the era of the Rat Pack and other stars, bigger than life (Rondero's poems on Marilyn Monroe and Clarke Gable)
It was nice to be carried through your romantic poem while humming some of Frankie's biggest hits.
Rose.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
|
An interesting study in couplets - with 8 iambs, no less.
Excellent word-smithing, David.
I got a bit hung in some of the lines, but that didn't detract much from the story unfolding in the poem.
This has been a great day for going back to the era of the Rat Pack and other stars, bigger than life (Rondero's poems on Marilyn Monroe and Clarke Gable)
It was nice to be carried through your romantic poem while humming some of Frankie's biggest hits.
Rose.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
-
Thank you so much, Rose! I may start to actually split the stanzas at the internal rhyme, as even though the meter is spotless, it's easy to get hung up with you've got 16 straight syllables on one line.
Comment from mumsyone
Such a pleasant read, with excellent rhyme and meter and a beautiful message. I've never been a Sinatra fan, but your knowledge of him worked well in your poem.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
|
Such a pleasant read, with excellent rhyme and meter and a beautiful message. I've never been a Sinatra fan, but your knowledge of him worked well in your poem.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
-
Thanks so much, mumsyone! I appreciate it.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I like this poem. I think it would impress the right person on Valentine's Day, or any other time of year. Meter and rhymes look very well-done. I got all the references except "Chairman," until I looked up Frank Sinatra again.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
|
I like this poem. I think it would impress the right person on Valentine's Day, or any other time of year. Meter and rhymes look very well-done. I got all the references except "Chairman," until I looked up Frank Sinatra again.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
-
Thank you so much, CC999. Perhaps I'll hold onto it for V-Day! I appreciate the sixer, too!
Comment from allinmyhead
Beautifully and skillfully written. Without sounding trite, I hope, your poem is poetic in the most romantic sense of the word. You have a crafted a piece that perfectly captures a moment infused with hope and the heartache of a near-miss. Love this stanza: But songs create...chemistry it made. The descriptive phrase, skin-enkindled fusion, is priceless.
You really wrote a wonderful piece about being emotionally caught up, lost in the music and the dance. I really love this piece.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
|
Beautifully and skillfully written. Without sounding trite, I hope, your poem is poetic in the most romantic sense of the word. You have a crafted a piece that perfectly captures a moment infused with hope and the heartache of a near-miss. Love this stanza: But songs create...chemistry it made. The descriptive phrase, skin-enkindled fusion, is priceless.
You really wrote a wonderful piece about being emotionally caught up, lost in the music and the dance. I really love this piece.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
-
Thank you so much for your sixer rating and your very kind words. I take them as a high compliment, as I did mean it to be romantic. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi; I love those old guys:-) A nice poem, brings back memeories.
Hey, just an aside...
remember whatever Fred did...Ginger did backwards and in six inch heels(from an old poem of mine:-).
Hope you are having decent day over there, my day soon to end, then up at 4a.m. for my day job.
cioa for now,
padumachitta
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
|
Hi; I love those old guys:-) A nice poem, brings back memeories.
Hey, just an aside...
remember whatever Fred did...Ginger did backwards and in six inch heels(from an old poem of mine:-).
Hope you are having decent day over there, my day soon to end, then up at 4a.m. for my day job.
cioa for now,
padumachitta
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
-
Thanks so much, Pad. I appreciate it. Have a great day!
Comment from nancy_e_davis
As I danced through your poem I enjoyed every internal rhyme
You are very adept at these long lined poems with internal rhyme. You have taught me a lot. Good job here dancing to
Sinatra and Cole Porter. A great combination. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
|
As I danced through your poem I enjoyed every internal rhyme
You are very adept at these long lined poems with internal rhyme. You have taught me a lot. Good job here dancing to
Sinatra and Cole Porter. A great combination. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
-
Thank you very much, Nancy. I appreciate that!
Comment from jadapenn
Hi David, quite the romantic you are. This is well penned and interesting. Pity the dance did not continue along the paths of life. I enjoyed. Love most of Frank's songs, but prefer them sung by Rod Stewart. lol. luv jada
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
|
Hi David, quite the romantic you are. This is well penned and interesting. Pity the dance did not continue along the paths of life. I enjoyed. Love most of Frank's songs, but prefer them sung by Rod Stewart. lol. luv jada
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
-
Thank you so much, Jada! I think Rod does a great job with them, too! David
