From out of the Grayness
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Blue Pencil Dream"Reaching from the gray areas to understand life
11 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
This is awesome. Works perfectly. You managed to get the stairs in climbable form without sacrificing any content or rhythm or rhyme. It has a great flow, interesting content, and a very cool look to it. Success!! mikey
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
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This is awesome. Works perfectly. You managed to get the stairs in climbable form without sacrificing any content or rhythm or rhyme. It has a great flow, interesting content, and a very cool look to it. Success!! mikey
Comment Written 02-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
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Mikey: thanks for this...it was an experiment in a new poetic format of stair step but the small font was a bit of a downer as the page would not take any larger font. FS gave me a tip of how to work around this so I'll keep working to perfect it as a new challenge. All the best and thanks again: Vance
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I had a large pyramid one time A-Z where the last line was 26 syllables. Advanced editor is the place. There are some tricks that some of the folks use to get a huge field but I haven't figured them out. A long line of ~~~~ at the very end that is longer than the poem expands the screen I think.
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I WILL FORWARD THE SUGGESTION MEMO FROM FS THAT I GOT EARLIER. VANCE
Comment from Spitfire
What a dream--or nightmare! I have nights like that too. I like that you experimented with a fresh form. Two favorite lines:
Dragging a long chain of soft rubber bands pulling a mountain moving so slow
my mind had just been mauled
Now, you'll have me jotting down the weird things I see in my dreams.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
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What a dream--or nightmare! I have nights like that too. I like that you experimented with a fresh form. Two favorite lines:
Dragging a long chain of soft rubber bands pulling a mountain moving so slow
my mind had just been mauled
Now, you'll have me jotting down the weird things I see in my dreams.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
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Thanks Shari: hope you will share what you jott down..I can't wait to see that....YOu are indeed one seriously creative lady! Vance
Comment from vickib
His Grayness,
I just had to review this staircase poem. It is the kind of poetry I like, but rarely see it done so well. This abstract thinking is hard to put into words and I love the way you did it. Like corners where round and all the holes were square. What if you said and all the wholes were square? See I know how these dreams come to be. Love the chain of rubber bands pulling a mountain and your imagination comes to you blindly, a mauled mind, all super cool. I'm fascinated by this and you did stimulate my creativity. I'll have to go read more of your portfolio and profile page now. Evidently you made me curious too.
Nice to meet you by the way it's the first time I've read anything by you. I enjoyed it so much.
Vicki
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
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His Grayness,
I just had to review this staircase poem. It is the kind of poetry I like, but rarely see it done so well. This abstract thinking is hard to put into words and I love the way you did it. Like corners where round and all the holes were square. What if you said and all the wholes were square? See I know how these dreams come to be. Love the chain of rubber bands pulling a mountain and your imagination comes to you blindly, a mauled mind, all super cool. I'm fascinated by this and you did stimulate my creativity. I'll have to go read more of your portfolio and profile page now. Evidently you made me curious too.
Nice to meet you by the way it's the first time I've read anything by you. I enjoyed it so much.
Vicki
Comment Written 01-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2014
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Dear Vickib..so glad to meet you and I will come around and visit you and thanks so much for this awesome review. I hope we can keep connected as I love the thinking behind your review. Thanks so much: HIS GRAYNESS.. Vance
Comment from lakeport
Blue pencil dream, indeed some dream are lovely, that's a beautiful expressed poem,nice in form,I enjoyed reading it.God bless you.Lakeport.
P'S. that small print is hard to read for tired old eyes!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Blue pencil dream, indeed some dream are lovely, that's a beautiful expressed poem,nice in form,I enjoyed reading it.God bless you.Lakeport.
P'S. that small print is hard to read for tired old eyes!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much lakeport: Yes: there had to be a compromise in the font size to be able to get the stairway effect on the page so not likely the method is going to catch on. Thanks again dear friend!! Vance
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your welcome.Lakeport.
Comment from Darkhorse555
what an amazing beautifully drawn picture then I awoke with this blueprint on my bed outlining all the images the dark could see excellent piece dear friend
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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what an amazing beautifully drawn picture then I awoke with this blueprint on my bed outlining all the images the dark could see excellent piece dear friend
Comment Written 01-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much Darkhorse! Always delighted to hear from you Vance
Comment from tbacha58
Well it messed up my bed and the sheets were all blue line tattooed just then alas Mother Nature called
Upon my return the shock had not really subsided but in reality I finally decided, my mind had just been mauled
Hello Vance, nothing ever comes out from your invention except beauty, I loved the staircase, the writing rhyming gave it depth, you are a creator, and this you should know. I enjoy so much reading your poems, they preach whats in your heart, and only you can improvise
variation in each poem you write. Have a great weekend. Much love Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Well it messed up my bed and the sheets were all blue line tattooed just then alas Mother Nature called
Upon my return the shock had not really subsided but in reality I finally decided, my mind had just been mauled
Hello Vance, nothing ever comes out from your invention except beauty, I loved the staircase, the writing rhyming gave it depth, you are a creator, and this you should know. I enjoy so much reading your poems, they preach whats in your heart, and only you can improvise
variation in each poem you write. Have a great weekend. Much love Terry xoxo
Comment Written 01-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Wow Terry: thanks so much for this encouraging review as it sure made my day! What a delight to hear from you and I thank you for your kind wishes and return them to you as well Love and hugs Vance
Comment from DonandVicki
A very original , as far as I know, structure to your very well composed poem. The art work, unusual as well, enhances your work. Don
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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A very original , as far as I know, structure to your very well composed poem. The art work, unusual as well, enhances your work. Don
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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tHANKS DonaldVicki..I appreciate your kind review and glad to meet you: HIS GRAYNESS
Comment from reconciled
Hey Pop....whats going on with the "blue pencil"....I believe you need to sharpen it...lol ahhh came out twice buddy...a duplicate repeat....damn it...lol....alright...hey did you hear you need to fix the font....haha....love Michael
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Hey Pop....whats going on with the "blue pencil"....I believe you need to sharpen it...lol ahhh came out twice buddy...a duplicate repeat....damn it...lol....alright...hey did you hear you need to fix the font....haha....love Michael
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Thanks son...always appreciate a good tip. Could not get the stairway structure without downin the font size...just having some fun stepping out of the box! Love Dad
Comment from queenv
Love the creativeness; a ride on the blue pencil line. I like the stair case effect. It sort of mesh with the ride on the blue line.Unique
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Love the creativeness; a ride on the blue pencil line. I like the stair case effect. It sort of mesh with the ride on the blue line.Unique
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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queenv: thanks for the kind remarks and this was just a wild idea to see if I could make a staircase and still keep the poem in rhyme...just wanted to get outa the box for kicks. Thanks for the review! HIS GRAYNESS
Comment from Dirus
Nice work, I like the art work as well. I liked the last line the best. "Well it messed up my bed and the sheets were all blue line tattooed just then alas Mother Nature called" The only thing I would recommend doing, is raising the size of the font. It was a little hard to read, even on a 25 inch screen.LOL. Everything else looks good. Keep up the good work. :)
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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Nice work, I like the art work as well. I liked the last line the best. "Well it messed up my bed and the sheets were all blue line tattooed just then alas Mother Nature called" The only thing I would recommend doing, is raising the size of the font. It was a little hard to read, even on a 25 inch screen.LOL. Everything else looks good. Keep up the good work. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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DEAR Dirus: Where oh where have you been??? Don't be a stranger and thanks so much for your great review. I know the font was a bummer but I could not keep the stairway effect on page with any bigger font so I'll have to work on this. Hope to see you again soon! Thanks again HIS GRAYNESS
