Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Beautiful sentiment in a song inspired poem....this reminds me to call my sister...we are 10,000 miles in distance apart....but very close in heart
Well done I loved it
God bless

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014

Thanks for your kind review. Have a great last part of the week, Ine.

Comment from Darkhorse555

Excellent

such touching beautifully drawn words If I am far away Brother I will always hear you on earth or in Heaven excellently penned piece

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014

Thanks for your kind review. Have a great last part of the week, Ine.

Comment from mrskristinball

Excellent

Beautiful message, flow, and rhythm. Definitely fits the style of a lyric, and reads like a song. I was looking for a little more description about the brother: why did he die? did the sister try to help save him? Maybe another stanza could be added...but only a suggestion:-) Do you play an instrument?

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014

Thanks for your kind review. Have a great last part of the week, Ine. He had a heart attack and I used to play the piano.

reply by mrskristinball on 30-Jan-2014

Reading your lyric again, and knowing his heart failed, fills me with deeper sorrow, and a more powerful hope for Heaven. The piano is a beautiful instrument; you will always be a musician:-)

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

Pleasantly written lyrics for your song=about love and togetherness. It has good use of language and some rhyme. It flowed very well and was enjoyable. I wanted to point out a spelling error, it should be 'lose'-hope you didn't mind me pointing this out to you. Faye

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014

Thanks for your kind review. Have a great last part of the week, Ine.

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

Good sound rhyme with brother/discover. Good alliteration with you/young...world/wouldn't...am/away...hear/Heaven...will/while...and/angels. Good strong song lyrics that touch the heart and soul.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014

Thanks for your kind review. Have a great last part of the week, Ine.

Comment from Marillion

Excellent

Nice to see you branching out again, Ine. A few suggestions, though:

Remove "a" from the second line. It's unnecessary.

Second stanza, last line: remove "two" altogether, or change it to "too".

S3: "loose" should be "lose"

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 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014

Thanks for your kind review. Have a great last part of the week, Ine. Thanks for the tips.

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

wow!@
I can't believe I'm reading a poem about a sister and brother. Yesterday I told my daughter I had no sleep her brother was on my mind and in my dreams, then his sister entered the dream they double team me.
You see they both are with the Lord.
Thank you for sharing.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014

Thanks for your kind review. Have a great last part of the week, Ine.

reply by misscookie on 30-Jan-2014

Your very welcome, you do the same.
Until next time.