A Book of ... Free Verse (Vol.1)
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Mind of the Machine"Metre ... Freeverse
13 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Machine versus human, you can confuse the human brain by injecting substances that annihilates the will of living. I am seeing as the machine, the government, that wants us in the obedient mood: don't ask just do what you are told.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Machine versus human, you can confuse the human brain by injecting substances that annihilates the will of living. I am seeing as the machine, the government, that wants us in the obedient mood: don't ask just do what you are told.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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That seems to be the crux of the matter and as for the promise of a liberating sanity Im afraid the hedonistic dream of zuclopenthixol has failed it is more of a dreaded nightmare.
Comment from L. R. Jensen
Such a dark and trippy poem! From the first line I was sucked in, and I appreciated the urgency, the despair, and finally the call to action. This was a very interesting poem!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Such a dark and trippy poem! From the first line I was sucked in, and I appreciated the urgency, the despair, and finally the call to action. This was a very interesting poem!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Excellent many thanks ...
Comment from Nana's Pyn
This is dark, mysterious, and thought provoking. However, the flow is somewhat stagnant in the third stanza, like you are reaching too far. Sometimes simplicity flows a bit better, in my opinion. Overall, this is one I would read over and over for better comprehension.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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This is dark, mysterious, and thought provoking. However, the flow is somewhat stagnant in the third stanza, like you are reaching too far. Sometimes simplicity flows a bit better, in my opinion. Overall, this is one I would read over and over for better comprehension.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Maybe on your day of f you could take time to re read it and deliberate it poignant and harrowing message ... much appreciated glad you could enjoy.
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I definitely will.
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Excellent ... much appreciated.
Comment from l.raven
Hi Chloe, OMG sweet girl...this is amazing...truly one of your best writes...the sad thing is my sweet friend...doctors are in it for themselves...the popularity...and money...and they hand out anything kind of drugs...not caring what they do to us...OH it killed your loved one...O-well...I wish I had a six left you....******...very well written...love your wording...and picture perrrrfect...love you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Hi Chloe, OMG sweet girl...this is amazing...truly one of your best writes...the sad thing is my sweet friend...doctors are in it for themselves...the popularity...and money...and they hand out anything kind of drugs...not caring what they do to us...OH it killed your loved one...O-well...I wish I had a six left you....******...very well written...love your wording...and picture perrrrfect...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Cool ... This is about as good as it gets with me, I love this piece, its a gem. To think, almost twenty five years experience on that small piece of paper with a poetic piece of such proportions. I love this one and it is probably the top of my free-verse poetic journey lasting a few short years which I'm hoping to rekindle. Keep the peace babes and live long and free.
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your a sweetheart...have a wonderful day...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment from James Upshaw
Wow, incredible poem, my friend. Honestly. Your imagery is so strong. I am not sure what drug you are speaking of, but it clearly has some negative effects. Chilling read.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Wow, incredible poem, my friend. Honestly. Your imagery is so strong. I am not sure what drug you are speaking of, but it clearly has some negative effects. Chilling read.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Thank you my friend. Zuclopenthixol is an anti psychotic which I have been taking for nigh on twenty years. It has a dark element to it and because it is an old classification of medication developed in the seventies it has some dire consequences. It could even have been developed by Stalin lol. The piece is about my struggle with the authority of Psychiatry and their treatment of me. This is why they are known as the mind of the machine. Its a personal reflection into my dealings with these medical doctors and their conclusions, here I vent my own conclusion. Glad you enjoyed.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem. There are too much technology and machine made help around today. We have to decide there are things we can let go and get along without some of the things we feel we cannot go without.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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A very well-written free verse poem. There are too much technology and machine made help around today. We have to decide there are things we can let go and get along without some of the things we feel we cannot go without.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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well ... this I could certainly do without ... the machine actually uses a lot of technology. It's normally only the human input that makes it go wrong and then it goes, grrr !!! cllll !!! clunk !!! then its defunked !!!! Its astounding once its broken how many engineers it takes to fix the thing when probably all they needed to do was put the plug in the socket.
Comment from Heather Knight
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit lost. After having googled zuclopenthixol, I assume this is a poem about mental illness. Am I right?
Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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I'm sorry, but I'm a bit lost. After having googled zuclopenthixol, I assume this is a poem about mental illness. Am I right?
Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Your right the zuclopenthixol is a substance used by doctors to stabilise a psychotic episode it is a potent mix with some devastating side effects it happens to be banned in some countries ... thank you for the five stars.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I am assuming that this poem is about drug abuse including all the substances to surrender a body into a state of relaxation, a numbing process, drug addiction is a log and relentless road from which some never return, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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I am assuming that this poem is about drug abuse including all the substances to surrender a body into a state of relaxation, a numbing process, drug addiction is a log and relentless road from which some never return, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thanks Dolly ... never assume ... it makes an -ass- out of -u- and -me- thank you for the stars, I'm just glad you could appreciate it as a poem.
Comment from Earl Corp
I'm not sure what my takeaway from this poem is. On one hand it looks like it's railing against Big Pharma. On the flip side it looks like it might be a statement against heroin abuse.The first stanza looks like eight lines that have nothing to do with each other thrown together.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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I'm not sure what my takeaway from this poem is. On one hand it looks like it's railing against Big Pharma. On the flip side it looks like it might be a statement against heroin abuse.The first stanza looks like eight lines that have nothing to do with each other thrown together.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Right you ... first things first - its a perfect free-verse and there's nothing wrong with any of it and yes it is a dig at big pharma ... so I'd like you to read it again and then give me five stars back again, or maybe even a six if you think its worth it ... lol.
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That being said, I don't agree with your evaluation of your own work. As I said, I didn't see the perfect free verse poem, I saw eight unconnected stanzas. I by no means want to start a debate or a pissing contest with another writer on Fanstory, but my rating stands. You're welcome to invite me not to review any more of your pieces of work, and I'll comply.
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Thank you that's so delicious. I'm afraid I cant help you understand what your take should really be as its entirely up to your own mind. Just please remember this poem happens to be a free-verse and dare I say quite a good one (just my opinion) it has been very well thought about after twenty or more years of personal experience. Your quite entitled to your own opinion on anything that anyone writes ... here's something for you to think about ... start with the capital at the beginning of each stanza and then put a comma at the end of each line at the end of the forth line put a full stop or period. Start again and use a capital to begin with and then repeat, see if you still have the same opinion ... if not I'm sorry mate but I just cant help you figure it maybe it was not up to scratch and I'll keep my four stars ...thanks ... Bic ... every blessing.
Comment from TPAC
Yeah! I'm down. Machine must be stopped. Well, I found this work exciting and moving with captivating interests. I found a good read.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Yeah! I'm down. Machine must be stopped. Well, I found this work exciting and moving with captivating interests. I found a good read.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Many thanks ...
