Comment from Robin Gilmor

Excellent

The conceit of this rogue is unparalleled! Just beware that Alter Ego doesn't rise up and overtake you. Beware of the Black Widows who eat their mates after
fulfilling their lusty cravings. Tis just the nature of the beast! Smiles to you David. I love it. Robin :

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks so much, my friend. Oh, I promise there's no danger of that. It would appear that there are about ten ladies here who want to make sure that doesn't happen. You know, a black widow can only eat their mate if the mate is there, though. :)

reply by Robin Gilmor on 25-Jan-2014

OK, fleet of feet! :)

Comment from Kenneth Schaal

Excellent

True, they most often defeat themselves, then sit and cry into their cocktails. Yep, they all want the bad boy, the one they can't claim. This one's definitely for the bi-polars with the big dreams. Kenny

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Yes, sir, you're exactly right. They're easy prey for a rogue who knows what he's doing. Thank you, my friend.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

A very clever message in this satirical poem . With great expression and language in this narrative. I like the slightly cynical, very descriptive metaphors in this fine work! I love the imagery it projects! Well done, with this one. Roy.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks very much, Roy. I really appreciate the time and great review!

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

Oh, oh bunkee - excellent post and am sure you will see some replies.

You really do have a penchant for "fightin' words - "For what you asked has been unmasked, So swallow this unjust dessert."

I like, so much more, the rhyming in this offering. My personal taste and it reads far more fluid than the last. Anyway, best of luck - on so very many levels!

AT=/

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks very much, AT. I appreciate the great review. This form reads well if done properly, and for a lighter piece like this, I like to even pepper in more assonance and mid-line rhyme for the smoothest seas possible. The other form is longer, and is easy to lose the rhythm of. This one reads itself.

reply by Acquired Taste on 25-Jan-2014

The other form is much more difficult to attain, but I like this so much more. My personal taste - I keep up better and do not have to reread to ensure I am getting the message. Interested to see the other replies! AT

Comment from James Dooney

Excellent

I like this. It feels to me that every verse is different, yet everything still locks together and directs itself to the end here. I like that and I might try it myself !

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks so much, James. Feel free to have a go, my friend. I appreciate the review!

David

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

good use of abcb rhyming with excellent internal rhyme in your a and c lines
good consonance in cracked its locks and alliteration in wicked it and sordid sport
and elsewhere
very strong verb choices throughout add some oomph to your statements
love your commentary on the need for a bad boy found in many women
Sad to say, I agree with you - many women pursue relationships with men who clearly are really bad husband material :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks so much, Brooke. I do hope people realize that this is me writing from a character's perspective, and not my true feelings, but I've seen this exact scenario so many times. I'm pleased that you saw through the bluster to the real point of it all. I appreciate it. :)

David

reply by adewpearl on 25-Jan-2014

I pretty much think folks realize you're not a jerk or so many of them wouldn't be writing lighthearted responses. :-)

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks! I hope so, too. :)

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Excellent photo of this box. Pandora's box has cracked. I really loved the last stanza. Are you going to make a book from these?

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Hi Robina. Somebody mentioned that, and I could see it as a multi-author book, or as a stand-alone case study in the "mind of a rogue".

The genesis of this character is actually a college professor I investigated, who was sleeping with grad students and leading each of them on. He was a truly miserable man who has now received his just dessert, and I'll eventually bring the character to a fitting end, but I'm enjoying the riposting and back and forth with my new (and old) friends here. Thank you!

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, marillion, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the rogue's ability to unlock a box of whoop butt on this website, lol. I enjoyed reading it

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

THanks very much, sweetwoodjax. :)

Comment from 24chas

Excellent

I wish I had a sixer for this one, Marillion, especially for the parting shot. You know, you're having fun with this, but you're also catching the tone of what happens when a rogue does drop in and seduce a woman, along with her feelings after the fact. It may be missed here, but I think you're making a valuable social statement, and willingly playing the villain. Well done!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks so much, brother. You're exactly right about that. I had a reason for doing it, which I haven't told yet. I probably will, eventually.