Human Nature
500 words. Hopefully fiction17 total reviews
Comment from Ben Colder
I am on your side author. War is hell but it has been here a long time. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings to you and the family.
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I am on your side author. War is hell but it has been here a long time. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings to you and the family.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2014
Comment from Spiritual Echo
whether you personally hate war or not, you painted a very realistic picture of what may actually be happening in the world today. Do we really believe that Syria because of a few properly placed agreements will ante up their chemical weapons and the world will be a safer place? We only have to look at the images that have been surfacing across the screen each night to understand that not every one regards truth and honour with the same respect.
Well done. I'd change one word form I MAY be gentle to I will/shall be gentle. The word MAY implies he may not and without a little more filler around that sentence it kind of straggles and floats around for interpretation.
Great story.
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whether you personally hate war or not, you painted a very realistic picture of what may actually be happening in the world today. Do we really believe that Syria because of a few properly placed agreements will ante up their chemical weapons and the world will be a safer place? We only have to look at the images that have been surfacing across the screen each night to understand that not every one regards truth and honour with the same respect.
Well done. I'd change one word form I MAY be gentle to I will/shall be gentle. The word MAY implies he may not and without a little more filler around that sentence it kind of straggles and floats around for interpretation.
Great story.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2014
Comment from adewpearl
You set the stage well in your opening lines
Excellent dialogue that conveys conflicting emotions well and also lets the reader know what is going on in this society
Lord Tutt, we have a peace - add comma for direct address
You convey your point of view well through the fact that the General's suspicions are proven right
Brooke
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You set the stage well in your opening lines
Excellent dialogue that conveys conflicting emotions well and also lets the reader know what is going on in this society
Lord Tutt, we have a peace - add comma for direct address
You convey your point of view well through the fact that the General's suspicions are proven right
Brooke
Comment Written 23-Jan-2014
Comment from Schalk Jacobs
Nicely done. This encompasses the prompt to a tee. Well written and it clearly shows the nature of the human race. This is the reason, unfortunately, why we have wars. Due to human nature not being satisfied with what they have and understanding of others. Best of luck in the contest.
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Nicely done. This encompasses the prompt to a tee. Well written and it clearly shows the nature of the human race. This is the reason, unfortunately, why we have wars. Due to human nature not being satisfied with what they have and understanding of others. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2014
Comment from Pilot2Pen
Excellent work. Your story has an interesting premise that says to achieve peace, all one has to do is talk and reason with the enemy and they will see the light.
Your writing is concise. The dialogue is excellent and believable. You packed in a lot in 500 words.
Good luck.
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Excellent work. Your story has an interesting premise that says to achieve peace, all one has to do is talk and reason with the enemy and they will see the light.
Your writing is concise. The dialogue is excellent and believable. You packed in a lot in 500 words.
Good luck.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2014
Comment from RodG
This story very effectively illustrates what should have been learned from both hot and cold wars of the past century. You have effectively characterized the two principal antagonists and the President. Excellent use of dialog and great pacing. Andyour message comes through loud and clear.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This story very effectively illustrates what should have been learned from both hot and cold wars of the past century. You have effectively characterized the two principal antagonists and the President. Excellent use of dialog and great pacing. Andyour message comes through loud and clear.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2014
Comment from CR Delport
Humans are capable of so much beauty. Art, poetry, song. But they are also capable of so much hurt and devastation. This is well written and makes for a great read. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Humans are capable of so much beauty. Art, poetry, song. But they are also capable of so much hurt and devastation. This is well written and makes for a great read. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2014
