Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Pemni Moon"Murder Mystery
41 total reviews
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Writingfundimension,
Whoo Hoo! Sounds like they're getting close to finding at least the human source of the problem, but now I think they'll find they've got a vindictive demon to deal with as well.
I'll have to flip back a couple of chapters, I seem to have missed something, or perhaps forgotten it over the holiday. I can't recall Fr Brian's bad evening, or Jana's uncle going out. I love the Sheltie in the story, my own is lying at my feet as I read.
Patrick
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Hi Writingfundimension,
Whoo Hoo! Sounds like they're getting close to finding at least the human source of the problem, but now I think they'll find they've got a vindictive demon to deal with as well.
I'll have to flip back a couple of chapters, I seem to have missed something, or perhaps forgotten it over the holiday. I can't recall Fr Brian's bad evening, or Jana's uncle going out. I love the Sheltie in the story, my own is lying at my feet as I read.
Patrick
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Hi, Patrick. Though I have a few surprises left (as you cleverly anticipate), we're moving to the conoclusion. Thanks much for the generous and supportive review! :0) Bev
Comment from Green Lake Girl
If I could give you ten stars, I would. You are masterful at portraying the many facets of this story, especially the mystical aspects. It feels as if the demon is toying with Jana. He was totally capable of killing her grandmother, but didn't. I see this story coming to a crashing dramatic conclusion in the not too distant future. I realize this is a longer chapter, but it felt short to me. I'm ready for the next chapter! You are a talented and excellent writer.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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If I could give you ten stars, I would. You are masterful at portraying the many facets of this story, especially the mystical aspects. It feels as if the demon is toying with Jana. He was totally capable of killing her grandmother, but didn't. I see this story coming to a crashing dramatic conclusion in the not too distant future. I realize this is a longer chapter, but it felt short to me. I'm ready for the next chapter! You are a talented and excellent writer.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Very perceptive insights, GLG. Thank you so much for this very encouraging and supportive review, my dear friend. I'm honored!
Hugs, Bev
Comment from RGstar
This was a long chapter, Bev, but I must say, I am impressed as to how you kept the concentration active in a sense that the text was very even.
It was as though you had written it from start to finish without coming up for air.
The intrigue built gradually and evenly until the point where it is no longer a review, but a pleasure in reading, so well was it written.
I came in to the chapters quite late, so my outlook is to read piece for piece, but yet, I am following with good advantage.
It is a real pleasure to read when it is written well.
I like the hospital sequences as well as the whole undertones of the mystical qualities.
Well done, Bev,
This chapter fully deserves my six.
Have a good day,
RG
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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This was a long chapter, Bev, but I must say, I am impressed as to how you kept the concentration active in a sense that the text was very even.
It was as though you had written it from start to finish without coming up for air.
The intrigue built gradually and evenly until the point where it is no longer a review, but a pleasure in reading, so well was it written.
I came in to the chapters quite late, so my outlook is to read piece for piece, but yet, I am following with good advantage.
It is a real pleasure to read when it is written well.
I like the hospital sequences as well as the whole undertones of the mystical qualities.
Well done, Bev,
This chapter fully deserves my six.
Have a good day,
RG
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Thanks for plodding rhough, RG. You're right about the chapter's length. It's not been my usual MO with his novel.
Your perceptive insights, encouragement and great generosity mean a lot to me. Thank you so very much.
Happy New Year!
Bev
Comment from misscookie
Wow! this was another great chapter never a dull moment. I smile when the mention of senior wearing their alert arm band or one around their neck. I have two and forget to put it on and even had near miss falls.
It looks like they are getting closer to the killer.
May you and yours have a safe, blessed New Year.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Wow! this was another great chapter never a dull moment. I smile when the mention of senior wearing their alert arm band or one around their neck. I have two and forget to put it on and even had near miss falls.
It looks like they are getting closer to the killer.
May you and yours have a safe, blessed New Year.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Miss Cookie, thanks a whole lot for this very generous and gracious review. Yes, it does help if the device is handy LOL.
I wish you and yours a very blessed New Year as well, lovely lady.
Hugs, Bev
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I know, I know.
Thank you for the New Year blessing
Comment from donkeyoatey
You have built the tension up so well. The dialogue is not stilted in any way, it flows naturally, and the reader is involved with you characters..all that AND we are learning some Sioux words..what could be better? Thank you for choosing my snake! donkeyoatey
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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You have built the tension up so well. The dialogue is not stilted in any way, it flows naturally, and the reader is involved with you characters..all that AND we are learning some Sioux words..what could be better? Thank you for choosing my snake! donkeyoatey
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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What a gracious review, D. I really appreciate you taking time, during this busy time of year, to review my chapter. Your picture always draws the admiration of reviewers. Happy New Year. :0) Bev
Comment from Joan E.
Your snake picture establishes the "suspicious" mood well, and you built the tension with the parking lot machinations and the hospital's mazes. I admired your realistic dialog and wondered with the priest how and "When will this nightmare end"? Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Your snake picture establishes the "suspicious" mood well, and you built the tension with the parking lot machinations and the hospital's mazes. I admired your realistic dialog and wondered with the priest how and "When will this nightmare end"? Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Thanks so much for reading, Joan. Such a busy time of year, too. I appreciate your perceptive insights and generous rating. Warmest regards, Bev
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I am glad I caught the post before it really gets busy again, when we prepare to ring in the new year and leave for more travel. Your storytelling is always compelling. More cheers- Joan
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That's very gracious of you, Joan. If you don't mind my asking, where are you off to next?
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A cruise to Indonesia--I think I've mentioned to you that my husband says we have to go to these exotic places while we can still walk! Endless hugs- Joan
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Oh, that sounds really wonderful. I've never taken a cruise in my life. I prefer to stay on land except when flying. Have a fantastic trip, Joan. XX Bev
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We didn't think that we would like cruising or that my husband could even survive, since he gets seasick easily. But we tried a Princess cruise to the Inside Passage in Alaska, and it was wonderful. The ships are so large and well stabilized, as long as you choose a route near land or not during hurricane season, there is little likelihood of rolling. And there is so much to do, from Broadway-style shows to art auctions, plus gourmet food. Thanks for the bon voyage--we leave Friday for Singapore. Healthy and peaceful new year- Joan
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I think I would very much enjoy an Alaskan cruise, but my hubbie seems to think he'd be bored. I'm sure I'll prevail one day.
Looking forward to your poem/travelogues, Joan.
XX Bev
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My husband was certain he'd be bored too, but this will be our sixth cruise and boredom is our last concern. Gaining weight is a worry since the food is too tempting--so, the first thing we do is scope out the ship to find out how many times around the deck is a mile, and we walk the calories off each day! There are also some bargains if you can book in advance or the last minute! Let me know if your husband needs more convincing. LOL -J
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I may, indeed, enlist your support, Joan. I've heard the food is very plentiful, so I think your plan is a wise one. :0) Bev
Comment from c_lucas
Most Satanists are novelist of dark magic. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Most Satanists are novelist of dark magic. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Thanks, Charlie. I really appreciate your encouragement and support. :0) Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh marvelous! I enjoy this story so much, Bev! I do have a few nits this time, though I LOVED the chapter:
1) Oops - you say in the briefing from the earlier chapter that it's her grandmother being admitted, but here Jana calls her an aunt:...- my Aunt's been brought in for injuries..."
2) The first time you put a question mark at the end of a statement (in dialogue) it seemed to fit, but it jars a bit here, to my ear:"...activities and the religious aspects of our case(?)"
3) The timing of the sentence where Alyx lifts his head at hearing his name seems late - shouldn't it come right away, following the priest's introduction? It's just that Skeets didn't call the dog's name, Brian did.
4) "He referred to the guy as (,) Draco." << Here, since this is not direct address, I don't think you need the comma.
Regardless, an exceptional write, as usual my friend. I have no doubt that this will not only be published quickly, but it will sell extremely well. :)
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Oh marvelous! I enjoy this story so much, Bev! I do have a few nits this time, though I LOVED the chapter:
1) Oops - you say in the briefing from the earlier chapter that it's her grandmother being admitted, but here Jana calls her an aunt:...- my Aunt's been brought in for injuries..."
2) The first time you put a question mark at the end of a statement (in dialogue) it seemed to fit, but it jars a bit here, to my ear:"...activities and the religious aspects of our case(?)"
3) The timing of the sentence where Alyx lifts his head at hearing his name seems late - shouldn't it come right away, following the priest's introduction? It's just that Skeets didn't call the dog's name, Brian did.
4) "He referred to the guy as (,) Draco." << Here, since this is not direct address, I don't think you need the comma.
Regardless, an exceptional write, as usual my friend. I have no doubt that this will not only be published quickly, but it will sell extremely well. :)
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Dawn, thank you so much for catching those areas. I will make take a look at those areas pronto!
Your generosity, support and encouragement mean so much to me, Dawn.
Thank you!
XX Bev
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You are so welcome, and so deserving - this story is thrilling!
Comment from judiverse
This is excellent, and I'm happy to give a six star rating. Interesting account that Ty gives about what happened to Agnes. She said she was pushed. She smelled something and felt the rush of cold--that sounds familiar. There's also concern about Tony, as he had gone off and left the dog alone. Det. Skeets calls on Father Brian to clarify some information about Edward Pearce, who had been at the pedophile priest's trial. Realizing he's onto something, Skeets takes off to find Edward. Good thing he's calling for backup. Lots of excitement! judi
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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This is excellent, and I'm happy to give a six star rating. Interesting account that Ty gives about what happened to Agnes. She said she was pushed. She smelled something and felt the rush of cold--that sounds familiar. There's also concern about Tony, as he had gone off and left the dog alone. Det. Skeets calls on Father Brian to clarify some information about Edward Pearce, who had been at the pedophile priest's trial. Realizing he's onto something, Skeets takes off to find Edward. Good thing he's calling for backup. Lots of excitement! judi
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Glad you found the chapter exciting, Judi. That's what I aimed for. Also, I appreciate your excellent insights and, of course, your very generous rating. You keep me on track with your perceptive reviews, and I really appreciate it. :0) Bev
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You're so welcome. A pleasure to read. judi
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You're so welcome. judi
Comment from Aussie
'feeling distant guilt' a great way of expressing Jana's feelings. I would add Rez to author's notes. I'm really enjoying your writing - I believe you will have this published. Well done friend.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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'feeling distant guilt' a great way of expressing Jana's feelings. I would add Rez to author's notes. I'm really enjoying your writing - I believe you will have this published. Well done friend.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2013
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Good thought, Kay. I knew I was forgetting something LOL. Thank you so much for this very generous and encouraging review. The support is much appreciated. :0) Bev
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Birds of a feather stick together! LOL :-)
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Yes we do, my so-talented friend. XX Bev
