Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Pemni Moon"Murder Mystery
41 total reviews
Comment from Joy Graham
"The phone was in (his) Skeets' hand". - I don't think you need "his" in this sentence.
Good chapter. You are the Queen of suspense. It feels like we are starting to put some pieces of this mystery together. Looking forward to more :)
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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"The phone was in (his) Skeets' hand". - I don't think you need "his" in this sentence.
Good chapter. You are the Queen of suspense. It feels like we are starting to put some pieces of this mystery together. Looking forward to more :)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Appreciate you catching that, Joy. I swear I need new reading glasses. I've had some really good eyes catching the spaggies.
Thanks for hanging in there with my novel. You're always gracious and encouraging. And, yes, we are moving into the home stretch.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from AprilShower
Bev, are we getting close to solving this mystery? I'm anxious to see it all come together. I am wondering if Jana passed her grandmother going to surgery as she going up to her room. You have some very good descriptions in this chapter.
I'm having a hard time keeping up with the readings. I'm glad I didn't miss this one. Well done.
April :o)
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Bev, are we getting close to solving this mystery? I'm anxious to see it all come together. I am wondering if Jana passed her grandmother going to surgery as she going up to her room. You have some very good descriptions in this chapter.
I'm having a hard time keeping up with the readings. I'm glad I didn't miss this one. Well done.
April :o)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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This chapter is a sort of turning-the-corner. Yes, April, we are in the home stretch. You bring up a point I hadn't considered. That would lend a nice wrinkle if the lady in the bed was Jana's grandmother...
Thanks for taking time to read and review, April. I really appreciate the support.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from lancellot
This is a very detailed and well written chapter. I like reading work like this it is just information to make it fell like watching a movie and you keep enough hidden to add a bit of mystery. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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This is a very detailed and well written chapter. I like reading work like this it is just information to make it fell like watching a movie and you keep enough hidden to add a bit of mystery. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much lancellot. I really appreciate your generous and encouraging review. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from DALLAS01
"Ah, here she is." She beamed a victorious smile that dissolved against Jana's frozen features.
I can feel the awkwardness in this scene. It is so typical. What reality you pen.
I do recall something from the trial, Detective. It was Debbie Padget who recognized the young man. She told me he was a very close friend of Michael Longacre, one of(the) boys involved in the scandal - inseparable was the word she used."
Another great chapter. Wondering where Uncle Tony is?
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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"Ah, here she is." She beamed a victorious smile that dissolved against Jana's frozen features.
I can feel the awkwardness in this scene. It is so typical. What reality you pen.
I do recall something from the trial, Detective. It was Debbie Padget who recognized the young man. She told me he was a very close friend of Michael Longacre, one of(the) boys involved in the scandal - inseparable was the word she used."
Another great chapter. Wondering where Uncle Tony is?
Comment Written 31-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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Thanks so much for your very generous review, Dallas. I appreciate, also, you catching that spag. Another set of eyes is always so helpful.
You've been very kind to follow my story for so long, Dallas, and I can't thank you enough. As for Uncle Tony, I wish I knew where he was, too LOL.
Happy New Year,
Bev
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Do you let it play out as you go, or do you already know the ending?
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I have been developing my story as I go along. I'm not sure I'd do it like that again. It's nerve-wracking. But I was green and didn't know any better. :0)
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Whatever you're doing, it's working.
Comment from Keturah Martin
This story is written with good grammar, spelling, and vivid description. It holds the reader"s attention well throughout the entire writing. Keep up the great work and hopefully we'll see the outcome of the story.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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This story is written with good grammar, spelling, and vivid description. It holds the reader"s attention well throughout the entire writing. Keep up the great work and hopefully we'll see the outcome of the story.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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Thanks so much for this great review, KM. I really appreciate you taking time to read. :0) Bev
Comment from Zue65
And I thought this story "Along The Jericho Road" was over, or perhaps I have been just out of touch for so long. This story is still available and I am glad that I can still review the events taking place in your story. I shall eagerly wait for the next chapters and catch up with Detective Jana Burke. Happy new Year.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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And I thought this story "Along The Jericho Road" was over, or perhaps I have been just out of touch for so long. This story is still available and I am glad that I can still review the events taking place in your story. I shall eagerly wait for the next chapters and catch up with Detective Jana Burke. Happy new Year.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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Thanks for taking time to read, N. I appreciate your suppport and encouragement. I've been posting a little more slowly due to other demands. But, this is a pivotal chapter leading to our climax. Happy New Year to you as well. Bev
Comment from MagKing
It's a good one though
I enjoyed reading it from the very beginning; the way you started it drew my attention, and I was eager to read more.
But along the line, I must say I got bored (apologies). But yet that doesn't mean you didn't do well.
I loved the way you started and ended it. But along the line I was carried off.
But it's a very nice piece... I enjoyed it
MagKing
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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It's a good one though
I enjoyed reading it from the very beginning; the way you started it drew my attention, and I was eager to read more.
But along the line, I must say I got bored (apologies). But yet that doesn't mean you didn't do well.
I loved the way you started and ended it. But along the line I was carried off.
But it's a very nice piece... I enjoyed it
MagKing
Comment Written 31-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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Thanks so much, MagKing. I appreciate your generous review.
Comment from allborn66
This is a very interesting chapter. I liked that many different things were going on. The dialogue is believable. Barbara
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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This is a very interesting chapter. I liked that many different things were going on. The dialogue is believable. Barbara
Comment Written 31-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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Hi, Barbara. Thanks so much for taking time out to read my chapter during this very busy holiday season. I appreciate your support and generosity. Bev
Comment from Connie C
Wow! It sounds, Bev, like the mystery might be getting close to being solved. You are going to have to get that next chapter completed fairly soon so these fans of yours aren't left hanging, including me.
You know I always like to look for spags but, once again, can't find any. I think, also, that I get so engrossed in your storytelling that I don't look as closely as perhaps I should. But, honestly, in a quick skim over after reading it, I couldn't find any errors.
Your use of dialogue is excellent, as always, and I can't wait to find out what happens with the Pearce residence.
Keep up the good work, my friend.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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Wow! It sounds, Bev, like the mystery might be getting close to being solved. You are going to have to get that next chapter completed fairly soon so these fans of yours aren't left hanging, including me.
You know I always like to look for spags but, once again, can't find any. I think, also, that I get so engrossed in your storytelling that I don't look as closely as perhaps I should. But, honestly, in a quick skim over after reading it, I couldn't find any errors.
Your use of dialogue is excellent, as always, and I can't wait to find out what happens with the Pearce residence.
Keep up the good work, my friend.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013
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Hi, Connie. Thank you so much for this awesome review. I know it seems like I'm taking forever to end this book! I think if I was posting more often it wouldn't seem quite so long. But I have a very full life besides writing. Anyway, thanks for hanging in there with me and for always being so encouraging. We are getting into the home stretch. Happy New Year, Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Yet another superb chapter, Bev. I get the feeling things are coming to a head.
Jana used the tip of a pen to retrieve a pad from near the woman's elbow. She passed it back, and the woman angled it in order to read the printing. Several times she stopped to compare a name on the computer screen to the one on the pad. Jana's hold on her patience ebbed with the passing seconds. - Excellent showing of how so many of these information desks are. I got all edgy reading it!
"You'll follow the blue stripe until it turns into a red strip. - strip works, but I thought I'd just check to see if you meant 'stripe', since you had a blue stripe.
Oh, wow. The description of the entity in the house was brilliant. This demon is a dangerous one. The poor priest! The brave priest. I'd be out of there like a shot.
:)
Great cliffhanger to leave us with, my dear friend.
I hope you have a brilliant New Year, Bev. I'm so glad to know you.
Love Av
x
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Yet another superb chapter, Bev. I get the feeling things are coming to a head.
Jana used the tip of a pen to retrieve a pad from near the woman's elbow. She passed it back, and the woman angled it in order to read the printing. Several times she stopped to compare a name on the computer screen to the one on the pad. Jana's hold on her patience ebbed with the passing seconds. - Excellent showing of how so many of these information desks are. I got all edgy reading it!
"You'll follow the blue stripe until it turns into a red strip. - strip works, but I thought I'd just check to see if you meant 'stripe', since you had a blue stripe.
Oh, wow. The description of the entity in the house was brilliant. This demon is a dangerous one. The poor priest! The brave priest. I'd be out of there like a shot.
:)
Great cliffhanger to leave us with, my dear friend.
I hope you have a brilliant New Year, Bev. I'm so glad to know you.
Love Av
x
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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What an awesome review, Av. Thank you for taking time out during this very busy time to read and so generously review my chapter. Your support is of great comfort to me, and I do appreciate you very much.
Much Love, Bev
