Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 107 "My City at Night"Small and Specialty Poems
18 total reviews
Comment from rod007
Great vibrant imagery. I especially liked these lines:
"The glow that shows in each vestibule,
That gleams and beams form each edifice spicule
Adds its glimmer to the evening bright,
While the water-shed ribbons of gold delight"
The words "as a general rule" in the 2nd line seems too common place in contrast to the majestic language in the rest of the poem. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Great vibrant imagery. I especially liked these lines:
"The glow that shows in each vestibule,
That gleams and beams form each edifice spicule
Adds its glimmer to the evening bright,
While the water-shed ribbons of gold delight"
The words "as a general rule" in the 2nd line seems too common place in contrast to the majestic language in the rest of the poem. Well done.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Thank you rod. When I started that poem, I never thought I get there with the two rhyme choices I'd made, but in they end, it turned out OK.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
A brave attempt indeed especially with the lines,
"The glow that shows in each vestibule,
That gleams and beams form each edifice spicule
Loved the pic...did you take it?
Regards:
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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A brave attempt indeed especially with the lines,
"The glow that shows in each vestibule,
That gleams and beams form each edifice spicule
Loved the pic...did you take it?
Regards:
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Thank you Stephen. Yes, I did. It was one of several night shots I took. Some others may creep in later on.
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Dear Tom: My dad was a professional photographer. I was abysmal at it. Merry Christmas!!
With Affection: Steve C
Comment from joneau2
Another wonderful tribute to your city, the picture at night simply great. One thought - why down yourself characterizing yourself as a "blithering fool," which you certainly are not. Absolutely not necessary. Why not something like a wide eyed child, or some such?
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Another wonderful tribute to your city, the picture at night simply great. One thought - why down yourself characterizing yourself as a "blithering fool," which you certainly are not. Absolutely not necessary. Why not something like a wide eyed child, or some such?
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Well thank you Joneau. I appreciate that endorsement of my intellect. Two reasons. Had to limit myself to the two prescribe rhymed, only two allowed throughout the 15 lines ( I used -ight and -ool), and I thought it interjected a touch of humor.
Comment from Capricorn30
Lovely photograph--the gold illumination befitting of the Christmas season;
A writing emphasizing a city in bright lights of evening, as opposed to daylight imagery.
Excellent!
Gold and orange reflections on the water are very pretty!
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Lovely photograph--the gold illumination befitting of the Christmas season;
A writing emphasizing a city in bright lights of evening, as opposed to daylight imagery.
Excellent!
Gold and orange reflections on the water are very pretty!
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Thank you Margaret. That was one of several night shots I took. Some more may creep in eventually.
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Looking forward to them!
I've never visited the St. Paul's area, your writing give me great insight.
Comment from Sueellen11
It certainly is beautiful,, the lights are spectacular ,, sorry to compare,, but as beautiful as Sydney,, as the city lights reflect in thy deny harbour too,, very nice picture of our city,,blessings to you,,merry Christmas ,,,sueellen
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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It certainly is beautiful,, the lights are spectacular ,, sorry to compare,, but as beautiful as Sydney,, as the city lights reflect in thy deny harbour too,, very nice picture of our city,,blessings to you,,merry Christmas ,,,sueellen
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Thank you Sueelken. Yes, I'd love to see Sydney some day.
Comment from RGstar
Good image, good delivery, and a good use of the structure.
''Like a blithering fool,
I think it looks cool,
When I observe the sight
My city at night.''
I like the modern usage of 'cool' n this stanza,
RG
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Good image, good delivery, and a good use of the structure.
''Like a blithering fool,
I think it looks cool,
When I observe the sight
My city at night.''
I like the modern usage of 'cool' n this stanza,
RG
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Thank you RG. That was a delightful rill.
Comment from MoIronE13
When the light go up in my city.
I take a walk that begins the journey.
Of sparkles and moonbeams
Reflective pools of my dream
Visions of "spicules" dancing wildly
Then hiding their tentacles blindly
This Rondeau is light when it's shining
The shimmering jewel that is glowing
In your beautiful City of Twins..
Magnificently written and poetically just.
I salute you my friend...
Well done again...
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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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When the light go up in my city.
I take a walk that begins the journey.
Of sparkles and moonbeams
Reflective pools of my dream
Visions of "spicules" dancing wildly
Then hiding their tentacles blindly
This Rondeau is light when it's shining
The shimmering jewel that is glowing
In your beautiful City of Twins..
Magnificently written and poetically just.
I salute you my friend...
Well done again...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Thank you MolronE, for a wonderfully poetic review. That was awesome.
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You started it.
Tag your it again..
LOL
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Your city certainly is very beautiful at night.
A clever Rondeau poem which showcases the attributes of the city at night.
Lovely use of description and carefully chosen line repeats to add to the overall picture.
You have adhered well to the chosen style and format.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Your city certainly is very beautiful at night.
A clever Rondeau poem which showcases the attributes of the city at night.
Lovely use of description and carefully chosen line repeats to add to the overall picture.
You have adhered well to the chosen style and format.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Thank you very much Shirley.
