senryu (two clients sit)
senryu--please see author notes17 total reviews
Comment from me_tudor
Another really great poem and picture combination. I have a social phobia and when I go to places with a lot of people, especially alot of people talking, that is exactly the way I feel, like I'm in a people whirlpool.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2013
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Another really great poem and picture combination. I have a social phobia and when I go to places with a lot of people, especially alot of people talking, that is exactly the way I feel, like I'm in a people whirlpool.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2013
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Thank you. I hate crowds too. The last time I went to Walmart, I had to leave after going down 2 aisles--there was just to much activity~Debbie
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Girl we wouldn't know a senyru if we ran into it so we'll leave the smart one's to review on that. This is an interesting thought. God loves you and so do we.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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Girl we wouldn't know a senyru if we ran into it so we'll leave the smart one's to review on that. This is an interesting thought. God loves you and so do we.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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You two are too funny. I hope things are going better for you. Have a blessed day~Debbie
Comment from JM daSilva
That reminded of a scene from Ghost. When she is sitting alone in her office, but there was actually a crowd of ghosts around. Good job.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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That reminded of a scene from Ghost. When she is sitting alone in her office, but there was actually a crowd of ghosts around. Good job.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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oh yes, for sure/ Glad that you enjoyed to~Debbie
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Great.
Comment from RGstar
Well, this one was not as clear as daylight as there is so much emphasis on the image and difficult to see the connection.
Unless the motive stands for sound waves or abstract persons.
You need a strong clear image if used for a 5-7-5, so still trying to work this one out.
The words are fine, and the image is great, yet I have trouble joining the two.
Still, I like the fact that the image is abstract and has room to be flexible.
RGstar
My interpretation , or lack of it, is only seen from one angle, so I will not mark this down,
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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Well, this one was not as clear as daylight as there is so much emphasis on the image and difficult to see the connection.
Unless the motive stands for sound waves or abstract persons.
You need a strong clear image if used for a 5-7-5, so still trying to work this one out.
The words are fine, and the image is great, yet I have trouble joining the two.
Still, I like the fact that the image is abstract and has room to be flexible.
RGstar
My interpretation , or lack of it, is only seen from one angle, so I will not mark this down,
Comment Written 10-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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senryu rely more on satire/irony than imagery. Thank you and I will look at it again. I wrote this while I was waiting to see my therapist~Debbie
Comment from Smoothiecool
great picture to depict the scrambled mind
your senryu has the three lines and the required syllable count
this short verse portrays the image well of some one not well
flows well easy read
cheers SC
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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great picture to depict the scrambled mind
your senryu has the three lines and the required syllable count
this short verse portrays the image well of some one not well
flows well easy read
cheers SC
Comment Written 09-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you so very much. I am overwhelmed with the number of reviews I let pile up. Please be assured that I have read them all and truly appreciate them. I am sorry I am sending a generic reply, but hope you understand~Debbie
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Debbie,
well I had a laugh... the imagery was fantastic... but the audio was out of this world... with all that chatter I couldn't hear myself think.
Very clever indeed... who needs to be in a waiting room?
And the good thing, imagine these two clients, they would be able to create their own party with an actual crowd.
Loved it Debbie.
Be well and take care my dear friend.
With our thoughts we create,
kindest thoughts,
James xx
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Hi Debbie,
well I had a laugh... the imagery was fantastic... but the audio was out of this world... with all that chatter I couldn't hear myself think.
Very clever indeed... who needs to be in a waiting room?
And the good thing, imagine these two clients, they would be able to create their own party with an actual crowd.
Loved it Debbie.
Be well and take care my dear friend.
With our thoughts we create,
kindest thoughts,
James xx
Comment Written 09-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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James, I wrote this while sitting in my therapist's waiting room. Some pretty strange behaviors happen there! I am glad you enjoyed it, dear friend. ~Debbie
Comment from JW
This was an interesting poem.
You know, when I went to the dentist office earlier this year (where I happened to spend a lot of $$$ I couldn't afford), at one time the room they had me in was empty. Yet, I heard voices.
They had left a TV was on. :-) JW
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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This was an interesting poem.
You know, when I went to the dentist office earlier this year (where I happened to spend a lot of $$$ I couldn't afford), at one time the room they had me in was empty. Yet, I heard voices.
They had left a TV was on. :-) JW
Comment Written 09-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you so very much. I am overwhelmed with the number of reviews I let pile up. Please be assured that I have read them all and truly appreciate them. I am sorry I am sending a generic reply, but hope you understand~Debbie
Comment from SteveY
No worries. A very good little poem that very accurately expresses the experience of so many out there. Thank you for sharing this one with us.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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No worries. A very good little poem that very accurately expresses the experience of so many out there. Thank you for sharing this one with us.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you so very much. I am overwhelmed with the number of reviews I let pile up. Please be assured that I have read them all and truly appreciate them. I am sorry I am sending a generic reply, but hope you understand~Debbie
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Debbie, Great word play in this work and nicely penned. I get 19 syllables though, you need 17 or less so have another over it:)
Thanks for sharing and Happy Holidays.
Maureen
two clients sit 4
in therapist's waiting room 7
as a dozen voices chatter 8 // total 19
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Dear Debbie, Great word play in this work and nicely penned. I get 19 syllables though, you need 17 or less so have another over it:)
Thanks for sharing and Happy Holidays.
Maureen
two clients sit 4
in therapist's waiting room 7
as a dozen voices chatter 8 // total 19
Comment Written 09-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you so very much. I am overwhelmed with the number of reviews I let pile up. Please be assured that I have read them all and truly appreciate them. I am sorry I am sending a generic reply, but hope you understand~Debbie
Comment from barkingdog
This is funny, and I know you meant no disrespect. It sounds like a joke that a therapist might tell at a conference in a warm up speech. LOL
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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This is funny, and I know you meant no disrespect. It sounds like a joke that a therapist might tell at a conference in a warm up speech. LOL
Nicely done.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you so very much. I am overwhelmed with the number of reviews I let pile up. Please be assured that I have read them all and truly appreciate them. I am sorry I am sending a generic reply, but hope you understand~Debbie
