History and Myth
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Woman of Steel"Poems that tell stories of long ago
8 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
What a clever poetry style and your inter-liking Triolets are very well achieved.
Woman of steel is a great poem title and perhaps is a good example of the way some men expect women to be.
It's encouraging to see that this woman of steel has a heart which can be broken and so she's real and should be treated like fine china-with care.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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What a clever poetry style and your inter-liking Triolets are very well achieved.
Woman of steel is a great poem title and perhaps is a good example of the way some men expect women to be.
It's encouraging to see that this woman of steel has a heart which can be broken and so she's real and should be treated like fine china-with care.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Thank you Shirley. Yes, you put it very well.
Comment from rod007
I read your poem carefully and I believe I understand it perfectly. Here goes, your partner in your nightmare lived in a world was where she was made of steel, unbreakable with irrational disordered thoughts which she firmly believe in. I could go on but you have read my poems so you know where I am heading! Great poem.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
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I read your poem carefully and I believe I understand it perfectly. Here goes, your partner in your nightmare lived in a world was where she was made of steel, unbreakable with irrational disordered thoughts which she firmly believe in. I could go on but you have read my poems so you know where I am heading! Great poem.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
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Thank you rod. Yup.
Comment from ravenblack
Some say honesty is the best policy and it is...Just not always. No matter how steely a person, everyone has their breaking point. That is a pretty cool statue- who is the artist?
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
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Some say honesty is the best policy and it is...Just not always. No matter how steely a person, everyone has their breaking point. That is a pretty cool statue- who is the artist?
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
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Thank you ravenblack. It didn't say.
Comment from Green Lake Girl
I am unfamiliar with this style of poetry, but found it easy to get into the rhythm. An interesting subject matter. I appreciated your author's notes which helped with understanding the poem. It sounds like whomever managed that Marriage Encounter weekend was more interested in stirring the pot!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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I am unfamiliar with this style of poetry, but found it easy to get into the rhythm. An interesting subject matter. I appreciated your author's notes which helped with understanding the poem. It sounds like whomever managed that Marriage Encounter weekend was more interested in stirring the pot!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you Marietta. They certainly did.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
I am afraid for me this is not one of your better efforts although it is excellently Crafted. The repeating line "when chanced upon the perfect woman of steel" did not work for me. Also I am not quite sure that I understand the theme.
Preston
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Hi, Treischel,
I am afraid for me this is not one of your better efforts although it is excellently Crafted. The repeating line "when chanced upon the perfect woman of steel" did not work for me. Also I am not quite sure that I understand the theme.
Preston
Comment Written 03-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Thank you Preston, I appreciate you input. I guess we can't win them all. I thought Gungalo's did work better. I agree that the trick to make something like this work is getting that that line that repeats 8 times in 24 lines right, pang mine was hard to read and grasp. For me, it was a challenge to achieve. Maybe the next one I'll nail it,
Comment from I.T creatives
Technically and artistically well put together .
Thank you for explaining what Trio-lets are and how
put a piece like this together.
Discipline and order . Thank you!.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Technically and artistically well put together .
Thank you for explaining what Trio-lets are and how
put a piece like this together.
Discipline and order . Thank you!.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Thank you I.T.
Comment from Gungalo
Tom you have done a wonderful job with this but please say the inspiration came from Gungalo. Hehehe. It is awesome in its interlinking. Really quite the story.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Tom you have done a wonderful job with this but please say the inspiration came from Gungalo. Hehehe. It is awesome in its interlinking. Really quite the story.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Oops, sorry. Fixed it.
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LOL okay Tom.
Comment from Zelphiablue
I like the message, that a woman is very strong, but she can still break. Your story about telling your wife a dark secret that turned out to be a mistake resonated with me. I can't believe anyone who ran a marriage retreat would think that is a good idea! I hope your marriage survived the retreat.
I understand how the triolet works but to me, the repeating of the lines felt unnecessary. maybe it was how the poem came together, it just didn't work for me personally. I felt like the subject matter would have been stronger without what felt to me to be unnecessary repetion. I understand in order to fit the format it was necessary but it didn't appeal as much to me. I found myself reading the poem without it and likeing it more.
I enjoyed your piece and hope to read more from you.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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I like the message, that a woman is very strong, but she can still break. Your story about telling your wife a dark secret that turned out to be a mistake resonated with me. I can't believe anyone who ran a marriage retreat would think that is a good idea! I hope your marriage survived the retreat.
I understand how the triolet works but to me, the repeating of the lines felt unnecessary. maybe it was how the poem came together, it just didn't work for me personally. I felt like the subject matter would have been stronger without what felt to me to be unnecessary repetion. I understand in order to fit the format it was necessary but it didn't appeal as much to me. I found myself reading the poem without it and likeing it more.
I enjoyed your piece and hope to read more from you.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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OK Zelphiablue, I can appreciate your thoughts. I probably used the wrong line to repeat so often. Try Gungalo!'s poem, Hers came together better probably.
