A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Horrified"A compilation of pictapoems from my portfolio
86 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh this makes me what to cry. This is horrifying because it is so true to life. I cannot understand how anyone can hurt innocent children and to read it or hear in the news is one of the most terrible things there is.
You've done a great job of getting into this character's head.
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Oh this makes me what to cry. This is horrifying because it is so true to life. I cannot understand how anyone can hurt innocent children and to read it or hear in the news is one of the most terrible things there is.
You've done a great job of getting into this character's head.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from TOMORAL
Oh wow, this is horrifying and so true. Child abuse of this nature leads children to murder their parents and even others. Happens far too often, and daddys that do this deserve no other than death as far as I am concerned. But the child pays again for the murder. Masterful writing!
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Oh wow, this is horrifying and so true. Child abuse of this nature leads children to murder their parents and even others. Happens far too often, and daddys that do this deserve no other than death as far as I am concerned. But the child pays again for the murder. Masterful writing!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from lancellot
A very powerful poem. She asks if killing him justified, I would have to say yes, and in the end you gave the reader a resolution. It was one that I wanted to see. Good message and write.
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A very powerful poem. She asks if killing him justified, I would have to say yes, and in the end you gave the reader a resolution. It was one that I wanted to see. Good message and write.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from scarhands
Writing about the depths of human sickness and depravity can be hard, like digging into flesh to remove a parasite. The imagery is shocking and potent, as it should be. The structure of the piece mirrored the story: the ending brief and deserved, contrasting the beginning and middle, which were drawn out and unjust. I continue to be impressed with your work, Dean.
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Writing about the depths of human sickness and depravity can be hard, like digging into flesh to remove a parasite. The imagery is shocking and potent, as it should be. The structure of the piece mirrored the story: the ending brief and deserved, contrasting the beginning and middle, which were drawn out and unjust. I continue to be impressed with your work, Dean.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from Pullmanspb
From a pragmatic viewpoint: If this is, or were, a real campaign, I would suggest less is more. I know those statistics, but the general public (in my opinion) would tune it out because there is too much overwhelming information.
It's, still, an extremely important subject and I think you for that.
Steven
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From a pragmatic viewpoint: If this is, or were, a real campaign, I would suggest less is more. I know those statistics, but the general public (in my opinion) would tune it out because there is too much overwhelming information.
It's, still, an extremely important subject and I think you for that.
Steven
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from Righteous Riter
The photo alone says a million words. Good use of the aabb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with can/man. Good simile use with beating like a drum. Good story telling. As much as I hate to say it being a Christian, I like the ending.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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The photo alone says a million words. Good use of the aabb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with can/man. Good simile use with beating like a drum. Good story telling. As much as I hate to say it being a Christian, I like the ending.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Thanks, Righteous Riter, I really appreciate that. I believe God understands our emotional state when caring people hear of a child being hurt, or worse. How can we not wish bad things to happen to them? We do try, however, and that's one of the main things that separate Christians from animals that perpetrate these sorts of crimes.
Matthew 25:40
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is certainly a powerful write. Child abuse and murder in one poem - very well written - nine stanzas in rhyming couplets together with your visual and audio additives. A good read if somewhat horrific - but you have written about things that are actually happening unfortunately. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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This is certainly a powerful write. Child abuse and murder in one poem - very well written - nine stanzas in rhyming couplets together with your visual and audio additives. A good read if somewhat horrific - but you have written about things that are actually happening unfortunately. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Thank you very much, Dorothy. I do appreciate it...
Comment from emrpoems
Appropriate poem for these times when child abuse is so prevalent and the perpetrators are usually family members.
Poem should be released for use by any organization campaigning against child abuse.
One observation it may not augur well at the end where the child kills the father. so if you intend to use it that way you may have to make some change there
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Appropriate poem for these times when child abuse is so prevalent and the perpetrators are usually family members.
Poem should be released for use by any organization campaigning against child abuse.
One observation it may not augur well at the end where the child kills the father. so if you intend to use it that way you may have to make some change there
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Thanks, emrpoems. I wrote this from pure emotion after seeing s rather disturbing story on the evening news. A mother allowed her boyfriend to drown her daughter in the bathtub because he'd convinced her that the sixteen month old baby girl was interfering with their party life. Can you imagine? Just stood by and watched him murder her baby. This poem was written for the baby, and what I imagined her being able to do to the bastard. There truly are monsters that roam our world today...
Comment from Writingfundimension
It's been proven that most juries would have complete sympathy for this kind of murderer. And, I must say that though I'm a Christian, I can see this situation and feel the strange balance it creates. Very well done, Dean. You've really gotten inside the mind of an abused child.
Warm regards, Bev
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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It's been proven that most juries would have complete sympathy for this kind of murderer. And, I must say that though I'm a Christian, I can see this situation and feel the strange balance it creates. Very well done, Dean. You've really gotten inside the mind of an abused child.
Warm regards, Bev
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Thanks very much, Bev. I wrote this particular poem after a rather disturbing story I'd seen on the evening news. A woman stood by and watched as her convict boyfriend, fresh out of prison, drowned her baby girl in the bathtub of her apartment. He'd convinced her that they couldn't have a "party life" with a sixteen-month-old baby girl dragging them down. They were caught attempting to bury the baby girl in her neighbors back yard, when the neighbor spied them digging and called the county permits office. He got life, with parole after thirty years, and she got life, eligible for parole after twenty-five. I think they should have weighted them both down, then thrown them into the Ohio River, save the taxpayers a good deal of money.
There truly are monsters roaming our world today!
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You and I write about them, as do so many others and, yet, no one ever thinks they live in their neighborhoods. Too many people keep their mouths shut when to speak up might save a child's life.
You done good, Dean...
:0) Bev
Comment from cottoncandy11
Hello,
How true your words ring clear. These are things that should be conveyed to our world, because if it is not in our life we pay such little attention. The children that suffer, horrendous. Thank you for all the statistics.
Regards, Cottoncandy11
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Hello,
How true your words ring clear. These are things that should be conveyed to our world, because if it is not in our life we pay such little attention. The children that suffer, horrendous. Thank you for all the statistics.
Regards, Cottoncandy11
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
