Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Sunkothai Moon, Part One"Murder Mystery
52 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
Watch yourself, Jana. You are letting your thoughts lead back into the same situation you baled out of.
You really know how to show conflicted emotions, Bev. But then, your characters are all so real, that is what we expect.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Watch yourself, Jana. You are letting your thoughts lead back into the same situation you baled out of.
You really know how to show conflicted emotions, Bev. But then, your characters are all so real, that is what we expect.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much, Norbanus. I'm tickled by your delightful review! :0) Bev
Comment from twoeggheads
"Had it been...she'd issue" grammar to be fixed. I loved the "skated the edge"... The paragraph that begins "The pub's ceiling was copper needs a couple of tweaks. Change the semicolon to a comma, and flip locals AFTER his own photography for better rhythm.
Great story!!
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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"Had it been...she'd issue" grammar to be fixed. I loved the "skated the edge"... The paragraph that begins "The pub's ceiling was copper needs a couple of tweaks. Change the semicolon to a comma, and flip locals AFTER his own photography for better rhythm.
Great story!!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you for your suggestions and review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh NO! Jana, do NOT go there, whether he loves you or not. His is a selfish love! He is not capable of the kind of love you deserve!
Oh, Bev, you sure do now how to mix it up, woman. This is a wonderful contrast to the last chapter, and so very rich! Your characters are so real, and this is a seamless transition; what a marvelous book, my friend! (I'm sorry to be so late reviewing!)
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Oh NO! Jana, do NOT go there, whether he loves you or not. His is a selfish love! He is not capable of the kind of love you deserve!
Oh, Bev, you sure do now how to mix it up, woman. This is a wonderful contrast to the last chapter, and so very rich! Your characters are so real, and this is a seamless transition; what a marvelous book, my friend! (I'm sorry to be so late reviewing!)
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Dawn, thank so you much. I care a lot of Jana, and I'll try to keep her safe, but the heart wants what it wants.
Thanks for the awesome and so-generous review, buddy.
Love ya, Bev
Comment from mfowler
I don't know the backstory to this piece apart from what you included, but I know I want to read it. You have a wonderful gift for characterisation and I felt right into each of the main participants immediately. The dialogue, descriptions and mental remonstrations built each persona really effectively. Ripping stuff.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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I don't know the backstory to this piece apart from what you included, but I know I want to read it. You have a wonderful gift for characterisation and I felt right into each of the main participants immediately. The dialogue, descriptions and mental remonstrations built each persona really effectively. Ripping stuff.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you so very much, mfowler, for this very encouraging and gracious review. I much appreciate it! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Zinnia48
I've just begun reading this story, and am anxious to read more. It grabbed my interest from the beginning. Your use of dialogue is terrific. Each character has their own voice. caroline
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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I've just begun reading this story, and am anxious to read more. It grabbed my interest from the beginning. Your use of dialogue is terrific. Each character has their own voice. caroline
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Caroline, thank you so very much for your generous review! :0) Bev
Comment from Bryana
I certainly enjoyed this part of your story.
I like Jana...her single-minded-focus. It's
a pity Dresden wasn't faithful to her.
Your story captured my attention from the
beginning, well written and interesting.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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I certainly enjoyed this part of your story.
I like Jana...her single-minded-focus. It's
a pity Dresden wasn't faithful to her.
Your story captured my attention from the
beginning, well written and interesting.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Bryana, thank you so much for this gracious review. I appreciate it! :0) Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Well, as if I'm ever going to be disappointed reading your work. As usual, a fantastic write of professional calibre. You set the mood, the scene and the emotion with ease, Bev. It just flows.
I like Jana. I like - no, I LOVE - the little snippets of native language.
Donal is an interesting character. He's fallen for Jana, by the sound of it.
What can I say? You kick literary ass, my lady. My only complaint would be that I have to wait too long between postings.
Love Av
xx
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Well, as if I'm ever going to be disappointed reading your work. As usual, a fantastic write of professional calibre. You set the mood, the scene and the emotion with ease, Bev. It just flows.
I like Jana. I like - no, I LOVE - the little snippets of native language.
Donal is an interesting character. He's fallen for Jana, by the sound of it.
What can I say? You kick literary ass, my lady. My only complaint would be that I have to wait too long between postings.
Love Av
xx
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much for your awesome review, Av. I'm so thrilled by your wonderful words of encouragement. I have allowed myself to get too distracted to write. I promise that will not happen again LOL. As always, you honor me with your insights and encouragement. Love, Bev
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Bev,
Wow is all I could say! Your imagery and detail is both bloody brilliant and scares the heck out of me.
I really wanted to stop and read this tomorrow - but I was afraid to take my eyes off the page - in case it came through the screen.
Tonight extra chocolate for me, and I'm sleeping with an extra long pillow.
Creepy indeed a brilliant showcasing of your writing skill.
Thanks for scaring me.
Maureen
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Dear Bev,
Wow is all I could say! Your imagery and detail is both bloody brilliant and scares the heck out of me.
I really wanted to stop and read this tomorrow - but I was afraid to take my eyes off the page - in case it came through the screen.
Tonight extra chocolate for me, and I'm sleeping with an extra long pillow.
Creepy indeed a brilliant showcasing of your writing skill.
Thanks for scaring me.
Maureen
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Thank you so very much, Maureen. I take it as high honor that you plough through despite all the creepiness. Your generosity and encouragement mean so much, my friend. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Bev. your story continues to fascinate me. I salute you for your fine images like so:
"The pub's ceiling was copper; and the walls, painted a warm beige, refreshingly free of chain mail and glass-eyed animal heads. Donal, youngest family member and pub manager, covered the walls in artwork produced by locals as well as his own photography of the Irish countryside. Most evenings, he worked behind the bar, yelling out a greeting to hearty souls seeking refuge from the foul weather and a table near the floor-to-ceiling granite fireplace."
And: "Donal aimed a spiteful glance in the direction of the man as a warning to watch his step. The good-lookin' tomcat was already up and helping Jana with her coat. He turned his head to meet the bartender's challenge. Cold eyes assessed and dismissed him in an eyeblink. Flipping on a smile, he sat back down in the booth, and turned his total attention to the beautiful woman he'd never stopped loving."
No suggestions this time. You are right on. Bob
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Hi, Bev. your story continues to fascinate me. I salute you for your fine images like so:
"The pub's ceiling was copper; and the walls, painted a warm beige, refreshingly free of chain mail and glass-eyed animal heads. Donal, youngest family member and pub manager, covered the walls in artwork produced by locals as well as his own photography of the Irish countryside. Most evenings, he worked behind the bar, yelling out a greeting to hearty souls seeking refuge from the foul weather and a table near the floor-to-ceiling granite fireplace."
And: "Donal aimed a spiteful glance in the direction of the man as a warning to watch his step. The good-lookin' tomcat was already up and helping Jana with her coat. He turned his head to meet the bartender's challenge. Cold eyes assessed and dismissed him in an eyeblink. Flipping on a smile, he sat back down in the booth, and turned his total attention to the beautiful woman he'd never stopped loving."
No suggestions this time. You are right on. Bob
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Bob, such praise coming from a writer whose descriptive abilities always amaze me! I'm deeply honored, both by your attention to the details and your generosity. I learn continually from writers like you on this site. Thanks seems hardly adequate. Warmest regards, Bev
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You are a real sweetheart. :) Bob
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Thanks, Bob. xx
Comment from RGstar
A good reality with his write, Bev. Good usage of space around your main theme.
One of love or infatuation never dies, anyway, not a fast death.
There is a good flow about your writing which always bear the markings of a good writer.
The many element you have associated with your piece, FBI, supernatural, and , of course, good old love, means you have to be on the ball, in terms of reflections, parallel scenes, and hoping backwards and forwards in time.
You do this well, as we can only read, and cannot see, your pen is our vision.
Throughout this write, you have kept it impeccably clean. No filling out sentences in any effort to over exuberant. No forced scenes to create a showing off of writing expertise.
The author is in complete control of the work, not the other way around.
It is good to see some good authors. I have done that today.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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A good reality with his write, Bev. Good usage of space around your main theme.
One of love or infatuation never dies, anyway, not a fast death.
There is a good flow about your writing which always bear the markings of a good writer.
The many element you have associated with your piece, FBI, supernatural, and , of course, good old love, means you have to be on the ball, in terms of reflections, parallel scenes, and hoping backwards and forwards in time.
You do this well, as we can only read, and cannot see, your pen is our vision.
Throughout this write, you have kept it impeccably clean. No filling out sentences in any effort to over exuberant. No forced scenes to create a showing off of writing expertise.
The author is in complete control of the work, not the other way around.
It is good to see some good authors. I have done that today.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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What a truly gracious review, RG. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm truly honored! Warmest regards, Bev
