A Parallel Plane
A muse about life2 total reviews
Comment from africabound
I think this topic is something that most people have wondered at sometime or other in their lives. I really liked the phrase "twilight cosmos"- that's a really good way to describe it. The title is good too. I feel like the ending could use another line or two, to conclude the thought.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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I think this topic is something that most people have wondered at sometime or other in their lives. I really liked the phrase "twilight cosmos"- that's a really good way to describe it. The title is good too. I feel like the ending could use another line or two, to conclude the thought.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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Thanks so much for taking time to reach my poem. I really appreciate your comments
Richard
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, Richard - welcome to FanStory.
Sorry to be slamming your first post, but you have ignored the very clear instructions about how to write a 5-7-5 poem - the numbers refer to the number of syllables in each of the THREE lines.
In addition, the words 'then which is' at the start of line 2 don't make the slightest bit of sense...
I am happy enough to accept the rest of your premise, but this poem belongs somewhere else.
Steve
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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Hi, Richard - welcome to FanStory.
Sorry to be slamming your first post, but you have ignored the very clear instructions about how to write a 5-7-5 poem - the numbers refer to the number of syllables in each of the THREE lines.
In addition, the words 'then which is' at the start of line 2 don't make the slightest bit of sense...
I am happy enough to accept the rest of your premise, but this poem belongs somewhere else.
Steve
Comment Written 02-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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Steve,
Thank you for taking time to look over my poem. I mistakenly thought this was an open-ended entry
Richard
