God Creates Breasts' Beauty!
God Creates beauty of female breasts purposefully154 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
As often is the case with tales so rare
your story throws our searching mind astray
a hundred dashing thoughts, with some to spare
you send our battered muse to disarray.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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As often is the case with tales so rare
your story throws our searching mind astray
a hundred dashing thoughts, with some to spare
you send our battered muse to disarray.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Sorry for coming late.
Thanks for the comment.
Comment from robina1978
I love this prose-poem, where you describe how many breasts God gave to people and different animals. You described this very well. I liked this one.
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I love this prose-poem, where you describe how many breasts God gave to people and different animals. You described this very well. I liked this one.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good strong introduction flowed by an even stronger conclusion. I like the break down of the two, four, six and eight breast with the animal included. I knew about the woman and the cow but not the others. As always, good teaching sermon spreading the knowledge.
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Good strong introduction flowed by an even stronger conclusion. I like the break down of the two, four, six and eight breast with the animal included. I knew about the woman and the cow but not the others. As always, good teaching sermon spreading the knowledge.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
Comment from rama devi
Your convey your idea very clearly--it is something quite obvious and not really a worthy thesis for an essay, but that is not the reason for the lower rating. There are numerous grammatical syntax errors in this.
Also, it is classified under spiritual non-fiction but the essay does not convey a sens of the spiritual or even a strong theme or argument. There are also redundancies, like using the three adverbs: uniquely and distinctly and exclusively, all in a row. They mean the same theme, essentially.
What is the purpose for listing the number of breasts here? Seems irrelevant to note an obvious thing of this nature:
Orderly, He gifts two breasts and not one to a woman, four to a cow, six to a lioness and eight to a bitch in His creation infinity.
Same for this, which is worded in a very awkward manner as well...making the reader have to 'work' to decipher your intent:
Distinctly, He offers beauty, while a mother feeds a baby or two; likewise a mammal mother feeds new-born family members.
This needs elaboration and more substance (as well as spag fixes):
So, God beautifies her to serve prime purposes with her two " ecstatic joy infinite and feeding new generations to breasts' different users.
The rating is for the writing issues and lack of substantial content, not for the subject matter.
As I know from the past you are likely to mute me again for giving honest feedback, I'll not take time to list all spag errors now but if you've had a change of heart about receiving honest critique and wish to improve your writing, do feel free to let me know and I'll be happy to return with an even more in-depth critique of the spag and other issues. My aim is to help, not hurt...but if you prefer to misinterpret it and want to mute me again, that's your prerogative, of course.
Sincerely,
rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Your convey your idea very clearly--it is something quite obvious and not really a worthy thesis for an essay, but that is not the reason for the lower rating. There are numerous grammatical syntax errors in this.
Also, it is classified under spiritual non-fiction but the essay does not convey a sens of the spiritual or even a strong theme or argument. There are also redundancies, like using the three adverbs: uniquely and distinctly and exclusively, all in a row. They mean the same theme, essentially.
What is the purpose for listing the number of breasts here? Seems irrelevant to note an obvious thing of this nature:
Orderly, He gifts two breasts and not one to a woman, four to a cow, six to a lioness and eight to a bitch in His creation infinity.
Same for this, which is worded in a very awkward manner as well...making the reader have to 'work' to decipher your intent:
Distinctly, He offers beauty, while a mother feeds a baby or two; likewise a mammal mother feeds new-born family members.
This needs elaboration and more substance (as well as spag fixes):
So, God beautifies her to serve prime purposes with her two " ecstatic joy infinite and feeding new generations to breasts' different users.
The rating is for the writing issues and lack of substantial content, not for the subject matter.
As I know from the past you are likely to mute me again for giving honest feedback, I'll not take time to list all spag errors now but if you've had a change of heart about receiving honest critique and wish to improve your writing, do feel free to let me know and I'll be happy to return with an even more in-depth critique of the spag and other issues. My aim is to help, not hurt...but if you prefer to misinterpret it and want to mute me again, that's your prerogative, of course.
Sincerely,
rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is a pretty cookie-cutter statement detailing the reasons as to why God chose to bequeath the female human with two breasts, while other mammals have various different numbers. Of course, everything in our world was planned under a grand design...His!---and I would rather be far more focused on why marsupials have pouches, whales have blow-holes, and some dinosaur fossils are clearly being discovered when it's said mankind had already come into existence, than I would on the particulars of the beautiful functions of breasts, teats, and mammary glands.
While I, too, am enamored by breasts, things such as a nucleus, plasma energy, prisms, the splitting of an atom, and how bacteria germinates, all seem far more complex examples of the miraculous works of our Creator...
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This is a pretty cookie-cutter statement detailing the reasons as to why God chose to bequeath the female human with two breasts, while other mammals have various different numbers. Of course, everything in our world was planned under a grand design...His!---and I would rather be far more focused on why marsupials have pouches, whales have blow-holes, and some dinosaur fossils are clearly being discovered when it's said mankind had already come into existence, than I would on the particulars of the beautiful functions of breasts, teats, and mammary glands.
While I, too, am enamored by breasts, things such as a nucleus, plasma energy, prisms, the splitting of an atom, and how bacteria germinates, all seem far more complex examples of the miraculous works of our Creator...
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
Comment from The Death
Hi,
This one was very different write. You have nicely shared your thoughts here and you worded it nicely.
I like how you narrated that the divine knows all and serves the prime purposes
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Hi,
This one was very different write. You have nicely shared your thoughts here and you worded it nicely.
I like how you narrated that the divine knows all and serves the prime purposes
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
Comment from fairy77
haha yes indeed breasts are wonderful and so important to our humankind.I loved this piece and congratulate you on your achievements:)beth fairy77.
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haha yes indeed breasts are wonderful and so important to our humankind.I loved this piece and congratulate you on your achievements:)beth fairy77.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
Comment from adewpearl
Definitely a fascinating focus. While the syntax is lacking in several places, this is clearer than the last piece of yours I reviewed. Brooke
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Definitely a fascinating focus. While the syntax is lacking in several places, this is clearer than the last piece of yours I reviewed. Brooke
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
Comment from billscott
Intetesting lead in.
Of course this was educational and its intent was refocused on the beauty of purpose.
Yes of course.
Wonderful.
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Intetesting lead in.
Of course this was educational and its intent was refocused on the beauty of purpose.
Yes of course.
Wonderful.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
Comment from Selina Stambi
Interesting essay, Al.
You have an interesting mind.
Two breasts come in useful when feeding twins. When there are triplets or more, then there's a problem!
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Interesting essay, Al.
You have an interesting mind.
Two breasts come in useful when feeding twins. When there are triplets or more, then there's a problem!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
