5-7-5 (swimming to the sun)
the story of salvation22 total reviews
Comment from SteveY
Wow, what a great story that you've expressed in this little three line verse. Love it, and I believe that God did send her to you at that time.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Wow, what a great story that you've expressed in this little three line verse. Love it, and I believe that God did send her to you at that time.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Hi Steve. Thank you! I always love your reviews. God sent her to me absolutely. To find me. Thank you.
Comment from brentman99
A very nice inspirational poem with a beautiful picture. Watching such moments with the one you love are special.
Thanks for sharing, Brent.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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A very nice inspirational poem with a beautiful picture. Watching such moments with the one you love are special.
Thanks for sharing, Brent.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much Brent. Thank you.
Comment from MarjorieAnne
An emotion packed story well-told in this brief, luminous poem with powerful metaphors from nature, enhanced by a lovely title and photo as well as author notes. Second line is outstanding, especially "blind sea" which hints at blind see.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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An emotion packed story well-told in this brief, luminous poem with powerful metaphors from nature, enhanced by a lovely title and photo as well as author notes. Second line is outstanding, especially "blind sea" which hints at blind see.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Wow thank you so much for an AMAZING review. I'm so glad you liked it. That means a lot to me, it really does. I love that you got the sea reference. Insightful! :) thank you truly.
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My pleasure
Comment from Leineco
Her hands found mine in
a blind sea of midnight tears ~
we swam to the sun
I really like this imagery.....love extended to pull a drowning man/woman from the depths of sorrow and grief....together they swim to the light :-)
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Her hands found mine in
a blind sea of midnight tears ~
we swam to the sun
I really like this imagery.....love extended to pull a drowning man/woman from the depths of sorrow and grief....together they swim to the light :-)
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you. That's it exactly! ;)
Thanks for reading this!
Comment from Matoshka
Oh Sigh...This is so beautiful, and your Author's notes added so much. It is amazing how love can transform our lives and give us new direction and be so happy. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Oh Sigh...This is so beautiful, and your Author's notes added so much. It is amazing how love can transform our lives and give us new direction and be so happy. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you I'm so glad you liked it. Blessings to you too :)
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You are so welcome, it is a great read from the heart. Blessings and keep on loving one another
Comment from Capricorn30
A well-crafted poem;
Nice analogy of rescue from stormy seas into the shelter of loving hands;
Nice alliteration to complete a fine dedication.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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A well-crafted poem;
Nice analogy of rescue from stormy seas into the shelter of loving hands;
Nice alliteration to complete a fine dedication.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you for catching that alliteration. I was hoping someone would take note. Thank you!
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You're welcome:)
I love alliteration--sometimes I think I'm addicted to it!
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Me too! Sometimes I have to hold myself back ;)
Comment from sweetwoodjax
the grace of love has proven to be the salvation that people have needed, from the love of The Father to the love that rescues us from darkness. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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the grace of love has proven to be the salvation that people have needed, from the love of The Father to the love that rescues us from darkness. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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So true. So very true. I love God first and then right below that is my wife. My true loves. Thank you so much.
Comment from FrannyG
This is a lovely photo and a very nice 5-7-5 to go with it on the theme of salvation. I love 'a blind sea of midnight tears'; and then the final line is almost a twist as well as a resolution. Really well done.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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This is a lovely photo and a very nice 5-7-5 to go with it on the theme of salvation. I love 'a blind sea of midnight tears'; and then the final line is almost a twist as well as a resolution. Really well done.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much. Voting is open to everyone in an hour or so. I hope to get your vote! :) have a great night!
Comment from Waishali Deshmukh
A beautiful romantic poem. The expression 'we swam to the sun is so powerful' that it coneys all that encompasses true love. A short poem with deep meaning. A very well written poem.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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A beautiful romantic poem. The expression 'we swam to the sun is so powerful' that it coneys all that encompasses true love. A short poem with deep meaning. A very well written poem.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you so very much. I'm so honored that you liked it Waishali!
Comment from Nichola
I love your title, "Swimming to the Sun." It has nice consonance with the -s- sound.
Her hands found mine in
a blind sea of midnight tears ~
we swam to the sun
- beautifully written, creates a strong sense of hope that the two find in the sea of tears, - just beautiful.
Just a thought: You may consider capitalizing the first letter of each line, or you could use all lower case.
Good luck with this contest and thank you for sharing your super poem. I hope you win. Your poem deserves to win.
Nichola
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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I love your title, "Swimming to the Sun." It has nice consonance with the -s- sound.
Her hands found mine in
a blind sea of midnight tears ~
we swam to the sun
- beautifully written, creates a strong sense of hope that the two find in the sea of tears, - just beautiful.
Just a thought: You may consider capitalizing the first letter of each line, or you could use all lower case.
Good luck with this contest and thank you for sharing your super poem. I hope you win. Your poem deserves to win.
Nichola
Comment Written 15-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Nichola let me begin by saying, WOW, thank you. I'm truly grateful and honored. You have made my night. This was a very short poem obviously but I think you really "got" it. That makes me happy as more readers here than not are very dull and numb. I'm glad to have found a person who can read between the lines, who is willing, wanting, to dig deep into a poem. Truly thank you my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed this, hopefully after the contest we can read each others work. Have a great night. Thank you again.
