History and Myth
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Proud Battle Lines"Poems that tell stories of long ago
16 total reviews
Comment from bloomingsun
I can find nothing to fault. The form and flow of this is flawless and the message is important. You really caught me with the last lines. The thought that to the dead it is meaningless, really made me pause. Of course that would be true but I hadn't considered the thought before. Thanks very much.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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I can find nothing to fault. The form and flow of this is flawless and the message is important. You really caught me with the last lines. The thought that to the dead it is meaningless, really made me pause. Of course that would be true but I hadn't considered the thought before. Thanks very much.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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Thank you bloomingsun, for having that insight., reviewing, commenting, and making such a generous award of stars.
Comment from DionysusDeVille
Reminded me something of O Say Can You see, but I loved it though, very descriptive and keeps you taken in from the very beginning. Good job
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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Reminded me something of O Say Can You see, but I loved it though, very descriptive and keeps you taken in from the very beginning. Good job
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much Kirby.
Comment from Erik McGinley
Nice poem with lots of alliteration.
I found the rhyme hard to catch at points but I suspect that's because its more complex than my unmusical mind holds well.
I really liked the ending. Very powerful.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Nice poem with lots of alliteration.
I found the rhyme hard to catch at points but I suspect that's because its more complex than my unmusical mind holds well.
I really liked the ending. Very powerful.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you Erik.
Comment from RodG
You have written a vivid depiction of knights about to go into battle. I especially like the sensory imagery of stanza 2 as the bugle's heard and the knights charge off. Like all good war poems, this one emphasizes the death & gore more than the glory. I am especially impressed with your natural rhymes and consistent meter. Nicely done! Good luck in the contest. RodG
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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You have written a vivid depiction of knights about to go into battle. I especially like the sensory imagery of stanza 2 as the bugle's heard and the knights charge off. Like all good war poems, this one emphasizes the death & gore more than the glory. I am especially impressed with your natural rhymes and consistent meter. Nicely done! Good luck in the contest. RodG
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much rod. The contest is over. They awarded 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places across 7 poems. Mine wasn't mentioned. Oh well.
Comment from Glasstruth
War may sound like a proud and exciting-macho thing, but the reality hits hard when one sees all the blood, and wasted lives. Like the old fashioned sound to this. Shows that we haven't matured yet as a society. Will we ever? Thanks for sharing. Les
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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War may sound like a proud and exciting-macho thing, but the reality hits hard when one sees all the blood, and wasted lives. Like the old fashioned sound to this. Shows that we haven't matured yet as a society. Will we ever? Thanks for sharing. Les
Comment Written 26-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Thank you Les. I wouldn't hold my breath for that.
Comment from B. Diehl
This is an amazing sonnet. This is the first time I've seen this topic covered on FanStory, and it really is a breath of fresh air. This shows your talent as a poet very clearly, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
-B<3
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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This is an amazing sonnet. This is the first time I've seen this topic covered on FanStory, and it really is a breath of fresh air. This shows your talent as a poet very clearly, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
-B<3
Comment Written 26-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Thank you B. For the comment and wishes. The contest is over. I didn't place.
Comment from joneau2
There's no point of me besowing more accolades upon you because you already know how I feel about your excellent works. This one is no exception.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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There's no point of me besowing more accolades upon you because you already know how I feel about your excellent works. This one is no exception.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you Juneau2. I appreciate that very much.
Comment from Thatguypk
Echoes of Wilfred Owens' "Dulce et Decorum Est", and the futility of war. A very nicely constructed poem, with a theme that merits being regurgitated frequently. Having lived through the tragedy of the Northern Ireland "troubles", I very much appreciate any poetry that highlights the cost of war. You talk of knights on horse back, while I envisage ordinary people living on fear on their own streets, but the message is the same. Very well written.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Echoes of Wilfred Owens' "Dulce et Decorum Est", and the futility of war. A very nicely constructed poem, with a theme that merits being regurgitated frequently. Having lived through the tragedy of the Northern Ireland "troubles", I very much appreciate any poetry that highlights the cost of war. You talk of knights on horse back, while I envisage ordinary people living on fear on their own streets, but the message is the same. Very well written.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you Thatguypk, yes, it is true for any war. I appreciate your comments very much.
Comment from FrannyG
This is a good solid sonnet for several reasons; perfect syllable count and a great opening line with powerful alliteration; good convincing rhyme and an excellent and quite powerful final couplet. Great writing.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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This is a good solid sonnet for several reasons; perfect syllable count and a great opening line with powerful alliteration; good convincing rhyme and an excellent and quite powerful final couplet. Great writing.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much, FrannyG, for this wonderful review.
Comment from NicciFaye
Treischel - I love when you write poems like this. They read so boldly and boisterously. Great, great, poem. Great alliteration when needed. Excellent poetic creation.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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Treischel - I love when you write poems like this. They read so boldly and boisterously. Great, great, poem. Great alliteration when needed. Excellent poetic creation.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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Thank you NicciFaye. Your words are so uplifting to my spirit.
