Creepy Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Gathering"A touch of Fear
5 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
I really miss the mass murder of crows that used to caw from light post and wire. Since the west Nile disease hit the corvids hard, I rarely see them anymore. I really like the first three stanzas but Don't like to see them blackened with the brush of evil. They are highly intelligent, use tools, form long-term mating pairs. If captured, they can learn just as many if not more words than parrots.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
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I really miss the mass murder of crows that used to caw from light post and wire. Since the west Nile disease hit the corvids hard, I rarely see them anymore. I really like the first three stanzas but Don't like to see them blackened with the brush of evil. They are highly intelligent, use tools, form long-term mating pairs. If captured, they can learn just as many if not more words than parrots.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
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Thank you Ravenblack. Your logic is impeccable. Blame Hitchcock for the blackened dread.
Comment from Sararb
I love this poem about the birds. I remember that movie, and it was really scary. A murdering flock of crows. Some people have a really phobia of birds. You did a great job with the format and rhyme and flow of this one! Great job! Sararb :)
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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I love this poem about the birds. I remember that movie, and it was really scary. A murdering flock of crows. Some people have a really phobia of birds. You did a great job with the format and rhyme and flow of this one! Great job! Sararb :)
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Thank you Sara. I can understand why the would.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
"What drives this attention they draw?
CONSIDER:
"What drives attention that they draw?
"A flock of blackbirds in a tree.
CONSIDER: You began with crows..why blackbirds at the end?
"A maelstrom perching in a tree.
Reminds me of the Hitchcock movie 'The Birds'.
Regards:
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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"What drives this attention they draw?
CONSIDER:
"What drives attention that they draw?
"A flock of blackbirds in a tree.
CONSIDER: You began with crows..why blackbirds at the end?
"A maelstrom perching in a tree.
Reminds me of the Hitchcock movie 'The Birds'.
Regards:
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Those are fabulous suggestions. I'll adopt them immediately. Thanks for helping improve my work, Stephen. I appreciate it.
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Dear TOM: We watch each other back, don't we?
Cheers: Steve
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Yes, for sure. I owe you a review recommendation when I get some back in about a week.
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Dear Tom: Thanks and enjoy the trip.
Cheers: Steve C
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This certainly did bring back a suggestion of Hitchcock, so nicely done with the rhythm and descriptive phrases.
I would like to point out:
drawing nye
should be
drawing nigh
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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This certainly did bring back a suggestion of Hitchcock, so nicely done with the rhythm and descriptive phrases.
I would like to point out:
drawing nye
should be
drawing nigh
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Thank you Crystie. I'll fix that.
Comment from Capricorn30
A well-crafted, avian poem;
Great visual imagery: "gathering on a twisted tree"; "leafless limbs";
I particularly like "surly, black bodies";
Good audio images of :"sending eerie sound that riles";
An eerie poem aptly suited for the upcoming Halloween season.
It is always easy to detect the presence of these birds. The cawing sound travels eerily for miles, it seems.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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A well-crafted, avian poem;
Great visual imagery: "gathering on a twisted tree"; "leafless limbs";
I particularly like "surly, black bodies";
Good audio images of :"sending eerie sound that riles";
An eerie poem aptly suited for the upcoming Halloween season.
It is always easy to detect the presence of these birds. The cawing sound travels eerily for miles, it seems.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Thank you Margaret. Yes, they are usually very noisy birds. Glad you liked my poem.
