Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "To Catch a Train"Personal poems
16 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
OMG Treischel, We would put coins on the track but never jump on it. But we did do some pretty crazy things. You have to know God is with you or you wouldn't be here today. I love your poem. And the picture speaks for itself. well written... Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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OMG Treischel, We would put coins on the track but never jump on it. But we did do some pretty crazy things. You have to know God is with you or you wouldn't be here today. I love your poem. And the picture speaks for itself. well written... Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 27-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Thank you very much Luff Linda. I'm gladyou loved the poem, and happy I'm here too.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
An interesting sharing of memories of your youth.
Good subject choice and the idea flows with ease.
It's interesting as a mother of six girls to hear of the teenage exploits of boys. It makes me thankful for girls. Although...
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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An interesting sharing of memories of your youth.
Good subject choice and the idea flows with ease.
It's interesting as a mother of six girls to hear of the teenage exploits of boys. It makes me thankful for girls. Although...
Comment Written 27-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Thanks seken58. Yes, I know what you mean, boys break their bones, girls can break your heart.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is one of those great nostalgic glimpses that we can talk about now and wonder why this is so bad now. Sure it was always dangerous, but when we're young we don't have anything to lose. We're kids and always will be. I really like this one.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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This is one of those great nostalgic glimpses that we can talk about now and wonder why this is so bad now. Sure it was always dangerous, but when we're young we don't have anything to lose. We're kids and always will be. I really like this one.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you Bill. Yup, as long as you survive.
Comment from keimosobie
Nowadays they show a video on the news or on you tube of some kid falling under the train. Kinds of takes the fun out of being a kid. Even if someone cracked up and killed themselves you rarely heard about it.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Nowadays they show a video on the news or on you tube of some kid falling under the train. Kinds of takes the fun out of being a kid. Even if someone cracked up and killed themselves you rarely heard about it.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you keimosobie. Yes, it is a dangerous thing to do to a moving train.
Comment from Caressa_08
so much anticipation, this young man is experiencing, & when his moment comes, he trips...such a very clever ending,...And, depicts life, as there are no guarantees, even though, they're in our reach..
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2013
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so much anticipation, this young man is experiencing, & when his moment comes, he trips...such a very clever ending,...And, depicts life, as there are no guarantees, even though, they're in our reach..
Comment Written 24-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2013
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Thanks Caressa. Yes, no qaurantees. Glad you enjoyed this little story.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Treischel,
I grew up in a small town where the UP railroad ran through the middle. I loved the sound of wheels on the track and the whistle was so loud but we rarely heard it as we were so used to the sound. My dad told about his youth when he would ride the rails now and then. So this poem really appeals to me. It is well written and compelling. Well done, chey
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2013
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Hi Treischel,
I grew up in a small town where the UP railroad ran through the middle. I loved the sound of wheels on the track and the whistle was so loud but we rarely heard it as we were so used to the sound. My dad told about his youth when he would ride the rails now and then. So this poem really appeals to me. It is well written and compelling. Well done, chey
Comment Written 23-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2013
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Thank you Chey. Glad it struck a cord with you of the good old days. Really appreciate the high rating.
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you deserved it!
Comment from Joan E.
My son is a train buff in many ways, but fortunately he does not hop iron horses! Nevertheless, I enjoyed your bits of rhymes and energized verbs in this free verse. I liked your alliteration of "b's" as well, which seem to mimic train sounds. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2013
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My son is a train buff in many ways, but fortunately he does not hop iron horses! Nevertheless, I enjoyed your bits of rhymes and energized verbs in this free verse. I liked your alliteration of "b's" as well, which seem to mimic train sounds. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 23-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2013
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Thank you Joan. Your comments are sweet.
Comment from adewpearl
cinders scramble - good alliteration
also in measures made
excellent use of enjambment to keep your ideas flowing from line to line
strong closing rhyme
I'm so glad you survived your dare devil days!! :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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cinders scramble - good alliteration
also in measures made
excellent use of enjambment to keep your ideas flowing from line to line
strong closing rhyme
I'm so glad you survived your dare devil days!! :-) Brooke
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Brooke. Me too!
Comment from xotic flotsam
Reading transported me to a simpler time. Images of hot days spent awaiting the rail trip. I wonder if "trip" has a double entendre? You had it until the ground gave way. Even reckless youth deserves its poem. As a recognized adrenaline junkie, I understand rush seeking pre-empting thought. Fun write.
X
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Reading transported me to a simpler time. Images of hot days spent awaiting the rail trip. I wonder if "trip" has a double entendre? You had it until the ground gave way. Even reckless youth deserves its poem. As a recognized adrenaline junkie, I understand rush seeking pre-empting thought. Fun write.
X
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you exotic flotsam. Yes, as adrenaline junkie, you would definitely understand.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wow, Mr. 'T'...this was outstanding! Excellent free-style verse. Good "story-telling" in a wonderfully poetic fashion...
Once, on a drunken dare, for which I was compensated a whopping $20.00 for risk of life & limb, I climbed onto the railroad tracks as an oncoming train approached. It was about three-o'clock in the morning, very cold and dark. I laid down, trying to make my body as flat as a pancake (which it would have surely been had things gone horribly wrong!)and let that train pass overtop of me. I heard my buddies screaming, they thought I'd been run over. They also didn't expect me to do it. I'll tell you this, it was quite a rush! But, I wouldn't recommend it...
Nice poem, and thanks for making me remember this horrifying experience. My nipples are hard (LOL, just kidding...geesh!) ;D
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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Wow, Mr. 'T'...this was outstanding! Excellent free-style verse. Good "story-telling" in a wonderfully poetic fashion...
Once, on a drunken dare, for which I was compensated a whopping $20.00 for risk of life & limb, I climbed onto the railroad tracks as an oncoming train approached. It was about three-o'clock in the morning, very cold and dark. I laid down, trying to make my body as flat as a pancake (which it would have surely been had things gone horribly wrong!)and let that train pass overtop of me. I heard my buddies screaming, they thought I'd been run over. They also didn't expect me to do it. I'll tell you this, it was quite a rush! But, I wouldn't recommend it...
Nice poem, and thanks for making me remember this horrifying experience. My nipples are hard (LOL, just kidding...geesh!) ;D
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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Thanks Dean. Wow! Aren't we luck we are still around? That was gutsy.
