The Woman Of Discontent
A weird poem I wrote inspired by Yasue's Surreal artwork.82 total reviews
Comment from Isabella Thorne
Well done, this is a hard picture to write about and you did it very well. This poem has great flow and is well written with an excellent rhythm. Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
Well done, this is a hard picture to write about and you did it very well. This poem has great flow and is well written with an excellent rhythm. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thank you Isabella.
Comment from allborn66
This is a very interesting piece. It definitely causes the reader to think about things. I like the way it flowed. It seemed to me that the lines were spaced a little too far apart - but Evil Eddie might have had his hand in this.
Barbara
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
This is a very interesting piece. It definitely causes the reader to think about things. I like the way it flowed. It seemed to me that the lines were spaced a little too far apart - but Evil Eddie might have had his hand in this.
Barbara
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thank you Barbara.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Justin, you have done a good job of interpreting the surreal picture we have to work with (my entry is till in progress) It has obviously touched a lot of people judging by the number of entries I have seen already.
Your choice of free verse works well, allowing you to cover most of the visual elements of the artwork and unlike others (including me) you don't try too hard to force a story onto it. It remains to be seen whether that is the right approach.....
Steve
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
Justin, you have done a good job of interpreting the surreal picture we have to work with (my entry is till in progress) It has obviously touched a lot of people judging by the number of entries I have seen already.
Your choice of free verse works well, allowing you to cover most of the visual elements of the artwork and unlike others (including me) you don't try too hard to force a story onto it. It remains to be seen whether that is the right approach.....
Steve
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thank you steve.
Comment from Leineco
Interesting take, on this enigmatic pic....wish I had done that! I fought to make sense of imagination....like analyzing a dream, and ended up with a sage of dubious distinction......LOL.
Good luck in the contest.....challenge well met :-)
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
Interesting take, on this enigmatic pic....wish I had done that! I fought to make sense of imagination....like analyzing a dream, and ended up with a sage of dubious distinction......LOL.
Good luck in the contest.....challenge well met :-)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Yeah like a dream within a dream. Thank you for your very kind review Leineco.
Comment from barleygirl
Excellent job & definitely the best poem I've seen so far, written about this artwork. The simplicity of your lines belies the complexity of your thoughts conveyed. I can't believe you noticed fishes swimming by (I didn't!) & you wove them into the scenario, yet it didn't seem to be "manufactured" gibberish to make mention of the fishes. It's really an integral part of the whole topsy-turvy vision. I love this! Good luck!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
Excellent job & definitely the best poem I've seen so far, written about this artwork. The simplicity of your lines belies the complexity of your thoughts conveyed. I can't believe you noticed fishes swimming by (I didn't!) & you wove them into the scenario, yet it didn't seem to be "manufactured" gibberish to make mention of the fishes. It's really an integral part of the whole topsy-turvy vision. I love this! Good luck!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thank you very much barley girl.
Comment from tedanytime
Truly melancholy,
although a reading of the original poem posted with the art provides some insight to the art.
The last line refers to eternal imagination, which reader feels also.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
Truly melancholy,
although a reading of the original poem posted with the art provides some insight to the art.
The last line refers to eternal imagination, which reader feels also.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thank you time.
Comment from Glasstruth
Oh, how true. 'The eternal energies of the imagination' is what drives us, especially the writer. The line: 'Of the strange, sorrow-eyed lady.' is a good one, but can't help thinking that you're telling me how she looks instead of showing it. Overall, a wonderful presentation. Les
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
Oh, how true. 'The eternal energies of the imagination' is what drives us, especially the writer. The line: 'Of the strange, sorrow-eyed lady.' is a good one, but can't help thinking that you're telling me how she looks instead of showing it. Overall, a wonderful presentation. Les
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thanks les.
Comment from Janet Foor
It does look like a floating head. Wonderful imagery you created with your clever words. I loved the phrase, "aquatic sky". Your right, it is a kind of a weird, surreal, psychedelic rock kind of poem. I liked it.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
It does look like a floating head. Wonderful imagery you created with your clever words. I loved the phrase, "aquatic sky". Your right, it is a kind of a weird, surreal, psychedelic rock kind of poem. I liked it.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thank you 119.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Justin Chopin,
Your poem is definitely different, but an also interesting piece of word art. I enjoyed the read.
Congrats on it already receiving the ATB award. Bravo!!!
MizKat
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
Hi Justin Chopin,
Your poem is definitely different, but an also interesting piece of word art. I enjoyed the read.
Congrats on it already receiving the ATB award. Bravo!!!
MizKat
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thanks kat.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a mind altering poem from the author. I love the artwork, but then I love all of Mino Yasue's work. The writer builds on this with some very thought-provoking words.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
This is a mind altering poem from the author. I love the artwork, but then I love all of Mino Yasue's work. The writer builds on this with some very thought-provoking words.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Thank you Tomes.
-
My pleasure.