The Boat
A 5-7-5 poetry contest entry.214 total reviews
Comment from amada
Great poem but my best is the strong second line, full of meanings and alliterations. I also like the boat concept, it could have been an airplane...
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Great poem but my best is the strong second line, full of meanings and alliterations. I also like the boat concept, it could have been an airplane...
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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:P I love all things old, guess I'm a bit old fashioned. But well the things of the old made the things of the new all better. Before the invention of the airplane men could only dream about what the skies held.
Comment from Sarah Butterfly
Very nice 5-7-5, which indeed makes you think. Sometimes you end up somewhere and don't know how you got there through some choices you made. Also nice rhyme used through the three lines.
Kind regards
Sarah
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Very nice 5-7-5, which indeed makes you think. Sometimes you end up somewhere and don't know how you got there through some choices you made. Also nice rhyme used through the three lines.
Kind regards
Sarah
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for your review.
Comment from fastdigits
In but seventeen syllables you have
managed to invoke some very thought
provoking feelings as to the different
paths we take in life and then muse
as to why we did what we did.
Well done
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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In but seventeen syllables you have
managed to invoke some very thought
provoking feelings as to the different
paths we take in life and then muse
as to why we did what we did.
Well done
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much, I appreciate your review.
Comment from DR DIP
under the restrictions of the rules of 5-7-5 poetry you did an admirable job of steering the boat.
sadly I cannot appreciate or I am a fan of 3 line poetry and as much as I can see the merit and the poignancy I would be frustrated by its parameters. I'm glad you put th authors notes to explain your thoughts.
don't get me wrong it well done. would you read a Robert frost poem THE ROAD NOT TAKEN..its an old poem and one of the first poems I ever heard some 50 yrs ago in during school and never forgot its impact..in my eyes it epitomises the decisions in life the fork we should take
"TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD AN I....
I TOOK THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLLED BY AN THAT HAS MADE THE DIFFERENCE"
with respect dip
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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under the restrictions of the rules of 5-7-5 poetry you did an admirable job of steering the boat.
sadly I cannot appreciate or I am a fan of 3 line poetry and as much as I can see the merit and the poignancy I would be frustrated by its parameters. I'm glad you put th authors notes to explain your thoughts.
don't get me wrong it well done. would you read a Robert frost poem THE ROAD NOT TAKEN..its an old poem and one of the first poems I ever heard some 50 yrs ago in during school and never forgot its impact..in my eyes it epitomises the decisions in life the fork we should take
"TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD AN I....
I TOOK THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLLED BY AN THAT HAS MADE THE DIFFERENCE"
with respect dip
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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I have already have read that poem, and all of frosts works in fact (I'm an avid fan of frost)! He was among the greatest in my eyes. Shakespeare, Frost, Wordsworth and Byron are my favorites.
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I still gave you a 5..i can read between the lines that didn't appreciate my point of view. I apologise but that's just my view hundreds would disagree with me I am sure and I respect everyone's opinions knowing full well that everyone interprets poems differently. and that my friend is the beauty of poetry
with respect, Dip
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Thank you for the review, and I do appreciate the five stars, I just love frosts works too :P It was my first time ever writing a three line poem, and so I had to cram as much meaning as I could, sometimes that meaning in the layers of translation.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gabriel,
It's the first time I've read any of your poetry. It was very enjoyable and written well. I hope to see more of your work along the way.
MizKat
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Hi Gabriel,
It's the first time I've read any of your poetry. It was very enjoyable and written well. I hope to see more of your work along the way.
MizKat
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much MizKat!!! Cute name BTW.
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Miz comes from the first three letters of my last name and Kat is the first three letters of my first name.
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Katherine Mizanin? :P
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How did you figure out my first name was Katherine and you even spelled it the right way? My last name is Mizelle, but it's our secret. (:
Comment from Nosha17
Thought-provoking short poem which is well-written. Guess, many have come to the end of a pier or cliff and reviewed their lives, especially if their lives have been full of upheavals and problems. Commendable.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thought-provoking short poem which is well-written. Guess, many have come to the end of a pier or cliff and reviewed their lives, especially if their lives have been full of upheavals and problems. Commendable.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for your thoughtful review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Stone-still on the pier
yet I know not how to steer--
how did I get here?
A clever use of words in this 5-7-5 syllable
poem, Gabriel - good luck with the contest.
Margaret
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Stone-still on the pier
yet I know not how to steer--
how did I get here?
A clever use of words in this 5-7-5 syllable
poem, Gabriel - good luck with the contest.
Margaret
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thank you for your well wishing and help.
Comment from Stephen Wolff
I feel that way most of the time. Interesting that you have written one of these 5-7-5 poems without aping the haiku form. The "I not know" structure sounds a little portentous and self-consciously poetic while the rest is written in ordinary English. It feels wrong. "Stone-still" rather than "stock-still": its different but maybe I prefer the usual.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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I feel that way most of the time. Interesting that you have written one of these 5-7-5 poems without aping the haiku form. The "I not know" structure sounds a little portentous and self-consciously poetic while the rest is written in ordinary English. It feels wrong. "Stone-still" rather than "stock-still": its different but maybe I prefer the usual.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thank you, I was going for a old feel to it. It didn't feel completely comfortable with stock still instead of stone, I wanted to give the solid immovable impenetrable feel to it. Thank you for the five stars nonetheless.
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Just suggestions rather than criticisms really.
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Ok :P I understand. :P i really appreciate the stars for real and I was just showing you my perspective to it, i take into account everything everyone says :P your input is very valuable to me.
Comment from RGstar
This is very good, and you deserve all the credit you get from this one.
A catchy little well organized cluster of words which depicts the meaning in an instant.
It is very well assembled.
I hope you do well with this as it is not easy to portray a good solid meaning in so few words.
Good luck with the votes.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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This is very good, and you deserve all the credit you get from this one.
A catchy little well organized cluster of words which depicts the meaning in an instant.
It is very well assembled.
I hope you do well with this as it is not easy to portray a good solid meaning in so few words.
Good luck with the votes.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much, and i really hope i win!
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You are welcome , Angelajfrank.
My best wishes.
keep going and good luck.
Here if you need .
RGstar
Comment from Cajungirl
Okay, I do like this piece. I have read it about five times. I makes me think about a time in life when you are at a stand still and wondering how it happened and how to move forward. Well, never the less, I loved it. Thanks for sharing and making the reader think.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Okay, I do like this piece. I have read it about five times. I makes me think about a time in life when you are at a stand still and wondering how it happened and how to move forward. Well, never the less, I loved it. Thanks for sharing and making the reader think.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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I appreciate your reviews and repeated reading! :P
