The Boat
A 5-7-5 poetry contest entry.214 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
This is indeed, a thought-provoking poem. I read it several times, and could see something new each time. There are so many ideas that come to mind, and I love to read poetry like that... something to carry the mind off into a land of speculation and imagination. It is interesting that the lines all rhyme, most unusual in a 5-7-5 poem... but lovely too. I enjoyed this very much. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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This is indeed, a thought-provoking poem. I read it several times, and could see something new each time. There are so many ideas that come to mind, and I love to read poetry like that... something to carry the mind off into a land of speculation and imagination. It is interesting that the lines all rhyme, most unusual in a 5-7-5 poem... but lovely too. I enjoyed this very much. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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I like having it be unusual and lovely too! Wow this was such a complement to read! That you would read it more than one time is as good as any six star!
Comment from Ric Myworld
New to poetry and its styles and structures, I have to trust my ear and eyes for what touches me. I enjoyed your poem because not matter how many times I step into a boat (thirty time a week or more) there is always that uncomfortable sensation. GREAT job!
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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New to poetry and its styles and structures, I have to trust my ear and eyes for what touches me. I enjoyed your poem because not matter how many times I step into a boat (thirty time a week or more) there is always that uncomfortable sensation. GREAT job!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for your review and comments.
Comment from ladykah81
Great poem! After I read it I said to myself oooh and read it again. I can definitely relate; not to long ago I found myself asking that very question so your poem hit home for me. Great job and good luck.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Great poem! After I read it I said to myself oooh and read it again. I can definitely relate; not to long ago I found myself asking that very question so your poem hit home for me. Great job and good luck.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for your comments and review. I love it when someone likes my work enough to read it twice.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Gabrieltheswifter,
I could certainly identify with this one, as I think many will. Choice is not always easy, and sometimes we make wrong ones.
Nocely though provoking, and a good reminder of how often we get it wrong.
Patrick
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Hi Gabrieltheswifter,
I could certainly identify with this one, as I think many will. Choice is not always easy, and sometimes we make wrong ones.
Nocely though provoking, and a good reminder of how often we get it wrong.
Patrick
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for your review and comments.
Comment from Ekim777
Robert Frost says it more succinctly; "I took the path less traveled and that made all the difference. Our poet confuses us. Your central line bemuses me. How is it relevant to the rest of the poem. To me, this is an example of your abstracts pushing us out the picture. Why not paint a visual image of a rudderless boat, a prey to the waves?
Ekim777
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Robert Frost says it more succinctly; "I took the path less traveled and that made all the difference. Our poet confuses us. Your central line bemuses me. How is it relevant to the rest of the poem. To me, this is an example of your abstracts pushing us out the picture. Why not paint a visual image of a rudderless boat, a prey to the waves?
Ekim777
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Because I wanted people to have that feeling of being inadequate, not being good enough. when someone used to go to the "docks" it was to buy a boat, or make the descision. I meant to make it clearer in the authors notes. I appreciate te review, I always kove constructive criticism and your view is valid, most people really like it so I am reluctant in changing it at all. I would have to make another line considering your imagery, stick to the syllable count and match the rhyme and "st" alliteration. (Stone-still, steer)
Comment from JW
There is no doubt that your well written poem is thought-provoking. Too many times for too many people, they make their way through life - never knowing where they are going.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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There is no doubt that your well written poem is thought-provoking. Too many times for too many people, they make their way through life - never knowing where they are going.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Your review is appreciated.
Comment from Tina McKala
This poem had really good message, you captured the state of mind you intended to show. Good imagination and well fulfilled 5-7-5 structure.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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This poem had really good message, you captured the state of mind you intended to show. Good imagination and well fulfilled 5-7-5 structure.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for your review and comments Tina,
- G
Comment from Dustybones
It is still open to interpretation by the reader. Well I think this is a great five seven five, with a very great picture. I got the idea you where looking to steer the pier.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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It is still open to interpretation by the reader. Well I think this is a great five seven five, with a very great picture. I got the idea you where looking to steer the pier.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for your review and comments. :P they are appreciated Dustybones. :P
- G
Comment from NicciFaye
A small but impacting poem with a lot of thought to consider that most people do end up on that end road of a journey of how did I get here. A well written piece.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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A small but impacting poem with a lot of thought to consider that most people do end up on that end road of a journey of how did I get here. A well written piece.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for the comments and the review (they are as good as any six stars!)
Comment from Godspenswept
Very thought provoking.
Feels like the current chapter of my life.
I have talent, I know what has to be done...
But im still kind of suck on that pier...
Wonderful read...so much thought within such few words
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Very thought provoking.
Feels like the current chapter of my life.
I have talent, I know what has to be done...
But im still kind of suck on that pier...
Wonderful read...so much thought within such few words
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for your review and poem. I love having people look at my poetry and say, "Yeah! I'm feeling that!"
