Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Into Every Life Some Rain Must Fall"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
42 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A sad story. I have no doubt that Susan is still with you in your heart. Even in her short life, she never left mom and dad and is never forgotten.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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A sad story. I have no doubt that Susan is still with you in your heart. Even in her short life, she never left mom and dad and is never forgotten.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 07-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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Thank you Mary. I really appreciate the review and comments. I will never forget the child I lost but I was able to move and Have good life. I'm glad we had other children to love and care for.
Beth
Comment from Begin Again
I must give six stars to Susan, Evan and you for facing life's tragedy and enduring regardless of the impossible pain. You managed to embrace your child and the heartbreaking loss and then move forward, not forgetting but accepting what God's plan was. I so understand.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
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I must give six stars to Susan, Evan and you for facing life's tragedy and enduring regardless of the impossible pain. You managed to embrace your child and the heartbreaking loss and then move forward, not forgetting but accepting what God's plan was. I so understand.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 07-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
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I know your understand because that is what you have always done. The thing is you've had a lot more heartbreaking losses in your life than I have have. I really appreciate the review and the six stars.
Beth
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a very sad tale, well written and sensitive. A sad part of your history that you overcame with love for each other. It seemed fateful in that you bought a plot at the cemetry never expecting to use it and it seemed a waste of money, but the blow came when you lost your child and buried her in one of those plots. How very sad that a perfectly healthy baby should die like this. My heart goes out to you and I hope life improved after that with a new baby, thank you for sharing your story with us here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
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This is a very sad tale, well written and sensitive. A sad part of your history that you overcame with love for each other. It seemed fateful in that you bought a plot at the cemetry never expecting to use it and it seemed a waste of money, but the blow came when you lost your child and buried her in one of those plots. How very sad that a perfectly healthy baby should die like this. My heart goes out to you and I hope life improved after that with a new baby, thank you for sharing your story with us here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much, Dolly. I really appreciate your nice comments and the six stars. The maker of the vaccine paid some compensation thirty-five years later. Many of the children who were harmed by the vaccine had brain damage for life. I'm glad that didn't happen in our case. We would have loved and cared for her, but it would have been difficult to ever get past what happened.
Beth
Comment from LisaMay
I am sure your powerfully emotional story would have been difficult to write, bringing back memories. The situation is very well described - I felt like a fly on the wall. It carries a strong message about how personal grief is, and how different people express it. (It took me 30 years before I cried for my much loved mother, who died when I was 15.) I am so relieved for you that losing Susan did not destroy your marriage but made it stronger.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
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I am sure your powerfully emotional story would have been difficult to write, bringing back memories. The situation is very well described - I felt like a fly on the wall. It carries a strong message about how personal grief is, and how different people express it. (It took me 30 years before I cried for my much loved mother, who died when I was 15.) I am so relieved for you that losing Susan did not destroy your marriage but made it stronger.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and the comments. I can remember it all so well but it doesn't hurt so much any more. We moved on, as we should have.Time is great healer. I trust that I will see her again some day.
Beth
Comment from mermaids
This is a tough one with the loss of your baby daughter. I am like you, I cry in private and am stone faced in public with loss. It is interesting that you purchased a cemetery plot so young , yet ended up using it. I am sure others can relate to your story.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
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This is a tough one with the loss of your baby daughter. I am like you, I cry in private and am stone faced in public with loss. It is interesting that you purchased a cemetery plot so young , yet ended up using it. I am sure others can relate to your story.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm finding that many people are like me and do their grieving in private. I used to think there was something wrong with me but it isn't so unnatural.
Beth
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story my friend! Congrats on ALL TIME BEST;-) This piece is well thought out and well written. I enjoyed it fervently!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2021
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Excellent story my friend! Congrats on ALL TIME BEST;-) This piece is well thought out and well written. I enjoyed it fervently!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family;-)
Comment Written 06-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for reviewing this story and for you nice comments.
Beth
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;-)
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Honey, there is no upbeat to be had here. You told the story in your sweet straightforward way and I cried for you. I wish I could take away your pain.
Life deals us hard blows indeed. But I celebrate that you were able to get pregnant again and get on with your life. This heartbreaking story is well written, and, as always, I love your writing and now you.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Honey, there is no upbeat to be had here. You told the story in your sweet straightforward way and I cried for you. I wish I could take away your pain.
Life deals us hard blows indeed. But I celebrate that you were able to get pregnant again and get on with your life. This heartbreaking story is well written, and, as always, I love your writing and now you.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much Sherry. You are a very sweet person to say that but I've read enough of your story to know you have likely suffered more than I ever had. We all have are crosses to beat but the Lord has carried a lot of my load.
Beth
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I had live babies who now cut me dead - that does hurt.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
No matter what you do, who you are, and where you live, life and the world will always be throwing curveballs at us - be it a difficult task, a broken heart, the tragedy of the death of a dear one, or something else. Whether you are feeling overwhelmed by the unknown, facing difficult circumstances, navigating life through one impossible challenge after another. It is a heartbreaking recount of the tragic events in your life. I have lost my parents, my sister,my brother in law, right in front of my eyes and I can relate to that feeling of numbness. Ultimately, prayer and faith in the Almighty will sail us through the choppy waters of life.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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No matter what you do, who you are, and where you live, life and the world will always be throwing curveballs at us - be it a difficult task, a broken heart, the tragedy of the death of a dear one, or something else. Whether you are feeling overwhelmed by the unknown, facing difficult circumstances, navigating life through one impossible challenge after another. It is a heartbreaking recount of the tragic events in your life. I have lost my parents, my sister,my brother in law, right in front of my eyes and I can relate to that feeling of numbness. Ultimately, prayer and faith in the Almighty will sail us through the choppy waters of life.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thank you for the review. Yes, you are right. Life throws some curve balls and how we handle them makes us stronger. If my husband and I hadn't had a firm grip on the hand of the Almighty, it would have very hard getting through that time in our marriage. I think it made us closer.
Beth
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Oh, Beth! I have never read the full story of how you lost Susan. Of course, I know the reasons, and the aftermath, but I never "heard" you describe your full experience. I read a lot of good posts this week, but I knew I was saving this last six for something, or someone. It deserves something far more -- something I can't provide; something only God will someday give you; the comfort and joy of seeing your baby girl alive again, in His Kingdom. I know you went on to have four more beautiful children. But losing your first child obviously was a terrible and unexpected blow.
Here is my usual list:
It sounded idyllic compared to some of the country grave yards we'd visited recently,
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It sounded idyllic compared to some of the country graveyards we'd visited recently,
and we'd not yet learned to say "No" to high-pressure sales tactics.
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and we'd not yet learned to say "no" to high-pressure sales tactics.
the $40.00 extra per month could be put to better use.
-->
the $40 extra per month could be put to better use.
My doctor told me he didn't want me gaining over twenty pounds ...
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My doctor told me he didn't want me gaining over twenty pounds, ...
so I stayed on a low calorie diet the whole nine months.
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so I stayed on a low-calorie diet the whole nine months.
When the baby was a little over a week late, the nesting instinct, I heard women get, happened.
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When the baby was a little over a week late, the nesting instinct I heard women get, happened.
***
In the chapters of this book which describe your early married life, I am able to see your relationship with Evan more clearly, and to understand what a tender-hearted and loving husband he was. Later on, we see more of what went on in your family as a whole, but this really highlights the love you shared as a couple. You had an amazing marriage! It's true, not every marriage can survive the loss of a child. You both were determined to make sure you weathered the storm of grief, by the grace of God, and you did.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Oh, Beth! I have never read the full story of how you lost Susan. Of course, I know the reasons, and the aftermath, but I never "heard" you describe your full experience. I read a lot of good posts this week, but I knew I was saving this last six for something, or someone. It deserves something far more -- something I can't provide; something only God will someday give you; the comfort and joy of seeing your baby girl alive again, in His Kingdom. I know you went on to have four more beautiful children. But losing your first child obviously was a terrible and unexpected blow.
Here is my usual list:
It sounded idyllic compared to some of the country grave yards we'd visited recently,
-->
It sounded idyllic compared to some of the country graveyards we'd visited recently,
and we'd not yet learned to say "No" to high-pressure sales tactics.
-->
and we'd not yet learned to say "no" to high-pressure sales tactics.
the $40.00 extra per month could be put to better use.
-->
the $40 extra per month could be put to better use.
My doctor told me he didn't want me gaining over twenty pounds ...
-->
My doctor told me he didn't want me gaining over twenty pounds, ...
so I stayed on a low calorie diet the whole nine months.
-->
so I stayed on a low-calorie diet the whole nine months.
When the baby was a little over a week late, the nesting instinct, I heard women get, happened.
-->
When the baby was a little over a week late, the nesting instinct I heard women get, happened.
***
In the chapters of this book which describe your early married life, I am able to see your relationship with Evan more clearly, and to understand what a tender-hearted and loving husband he was. Later on, we see more of what went on in your family as a whole, but this really highlights the love you shared as a couple. You had an amazing marriage! It's true, not every marriage can survive the loss of a child. You both were determined to make sure you weathered the storm of grief, by the grace of God, and you did.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and usual help. I really think the death of Susan may have drawn us closer. A lady who lived near us couldn't visit us becuase she had lost her first baby and it was more that she could handle. She had never let herself get pregnant again becuas she didn't want to risk the pain. Shie missed a lot but never getting passed and having other children. Her husband suffered because of her decision as well.
Beth
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You're very welcome, Beth, as always. That's so sad, that your neighbor wouldn't have any more children, after she lost her baby -- sad for her, and her husband.
It's good if it brought you and Evan closer. My grandparents' marriage also survived the loss of their first child, a son, but he was ten years old. It was a very hard and grueling loss -- pneumonia, secondary to Ewing's sarcoma (a type of bone cancer in children). Grandma couldn't conceive while Eugene was sick, but after he passed (similar to your situation with Susan), she got pregnant, and that baby was my mother. They had a strong marriage, too, but were very scarred emotionally by their loss, especially my grandmother, also because her family had endured heavy losses in her childhood, as well. It resulted in her becoming very overprotective of her family.
I am wondering if your neighbor also lost her baby as a result of the DPT inoculation?
Blessings and love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Sandra Barlow
Oh, that was a heart-breaking recount of your marriage to Evan during your pregnancy and birth. I can relate to that feeling of numbness, though I have never lost a baby. You did warn me that tragedy was about to strike.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Oh, that was a heart-breaking recount of your marriage to Evan during your pregnancy and birth. I can relate to that feeling of numbness, though I have never lost a baby. You did warn me that tragedy was about to strike.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Thank you for the review. It was a bad time in our lives, but we were determined we get past it and move on. Life has it ups and downs, and we couldn't let that tradgedy define our marriage. Thirty-five years later the vaccine company paid some compensaton to those who lost children from the shot. The valadation that someone findly admitted it caused the death was worth more than the money we recieved shich was $250,000 and a big surprise. I have a story in my portfolio called "The Deadline" which tells how hard they worked to keep us for getting anything.
Beth
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Goodness. I don't have any vaccines myself. I attribute my good health partly to that; but I am being treated like a leper. It looks like you have managed to process it well.
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I live in a place where people are very suspicious of it for political reasons. None of my children got the vaccine. I did get it because they don't stay away for me, and I was sure they would expose me, which they all did, but I didn't get sick, because I'd had the vaccine. I haven't seen a doctor in over a year and I never take the flu vaccine. Now they are pushing all sort of other vaccines. Tonight news had one for a type of cancer.
Beth
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Oh, I haven't heard about that one. You can't catch cancer though.
