noble steed
3/5/3 poem52 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Indeed, carry me. Whether the steed be equestrian in nature, or mechanical, it matters not, just...
carry me along life's dusty roads.
Great presentation, structure and message.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Indeed, carry me. Whether the steed be equestrian in nature, or mechanical, it matters not, just...
carry me along life's dusty roads.
Great presentation, structure and message.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much. :-)
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The pleasure was entirely mine.
Comment from BeckyW
This poem appears to be 'non-traditional' Haiku (3-5-3) according to the Haiku guidelines. I like it though, and I love horses. I would only suggest that you add to your notes that your poem is the 'traditional Haiku.'
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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This poem appears to be 'non-traditional' Haiku (3-5-3) according to the Haiku guidelines. I like it though, and I love horses. I would only suggest that you add to your notes that your poem is the 'traditional Haiku.'
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you. I will add that. :-)
Comment from poesyapprentice
A very interesting piece. The syllable count is correct for a haiku (17 or less). The Me part of the prompt changes the game plan a bit IMO, and I think yours is fine. I think of a princess and her shining night, a woman with a good supportive man... not an independent woman. Just my thoughts, lol. Wish you the best of luck. (Oh is cantering a gerund here? I don't think so, but goodness I get confused on those and the present participles ending in "ing", and gerunds are frowned on in haiku. Where is Ms. Brooke when I need her, lol).
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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A very interesting piece. The syllable count is correct for a haiku (17 or less). The Me part of the prompt changes the game plan a bit IMO, and I think yours is fine. I think of a princess and her shining night, a woman with a good supportive man... not an independent woman. Just my thoughts, lol. Wish you the best of luck. (Oh is cantering a gerund here? I don't think so, but goodness I get confused on those and the present participles ending in "ing", and gerunds are frowned on in haiku. Where is Ms. Brooke when I need her, lol).
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you. I removed the "ing"
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As I stated, I'm not sure if it was a gerund (which are frowned on) or present participle (which are not) but I think it sounded better the way it was (just my opinion, though), and now it is a 3-4-3, lol. Hope you get a second opinion on the issue if you feel it is needed. M
Comment from ennahanid
I like it very much regardless if correct or not. I am a content 'reader' grammar and form are not my thing at all so unable to comment on that area. Great picture. Thank you for the read this morning - Dinah
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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I like it very much regardless if correct or not. I am a content 'reader' grammar and form are not my thing at all so unable to comment on that area. Great picture. Thank you for the read this morning - Dinah
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much. :-)
Comment from bkbehera
It is an impressive piece of work presented in a lucid form with simple style,but highly expressive.I wish,it as one of the best in this contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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It is an impressive piece of work presented in a lucid form with simple style,but highly expressive.I wish,it as one of the best in this contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much. :-)
Comment from seren james
This is a well written Haiku. You have used 11 syllables as Alvin says. The example provided is 17 syllables. I am not sure which is right.
Your Haiku is meaningful and enjoyable.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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This is a well written Haiku. You have used 11 syllables as Alvin says. The example provided is 17 syllables. I am not sure which is right.
Your Haiku is meaningful and enjoyable.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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I'm going with Alvin's recommendation. I am still not certain it really qualifies as haiku because of the way the contest rules were written requiring the author to incorporate themselves into the poem. Still, it was fun. :-) Thanks!
Comment from jaded831
I have a great love of all God's creatures, especially horses. Your poem sparked a vision of horses running in an open field. Such a beautiful site. Good luck, I think you've got a winner here.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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I have a great love of all God's creatures, especially horses. Your poem sparked a vision of horses running in an open field. Such a beautiful site. Good luck, I think you've got a winner here.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so very much! This is a wonderful surprise and I really appreciate it.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a thought-provoking poem. I like the way that the author portrays the horse as a noble steed. Indeed, horses have been revered from ancient times for the work that they have done for mankind. Only dogs have a higher place in the esteem of humankind. Well written.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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This is a thought-provoking poem. I like the way that the author portrays the horse as a noble steed. Indeed, horses have been revered from ancient times for the work that they have done for mankind. Only dogs have a higher place in the esteem of humankind. Well written.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much. :-)
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My pleasure.
Comment from kiwijenny
I love noble steeds...horses are beautiful...........
.I love the picture...
I love this haiku......................................
Good luck with the contest
God bless
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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I love noble steeds...horses are beautiful...........
.I love the picture...
I love this haiku......................................
Good luck with the contest
God bless
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much. :-)
Comment from hari anand
Great message perfect haiku. In such limited word counts you have met the requirement of the contest. Picture perfect.best of luck.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Great message perfect haiku. In such limited word counts you have met the requirement of the contest. Picture perfect.best of luck.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much. :-)
