Africa's victory
sad remembrance of Apartheid, and celebration of Africa now2 total reviews
Comment from Carrie Carson
I love the analogy of the bees humming together as citizens of their environment.
This says 5-7-5? Syllable count is off, hence four stars. Maybe "Mournfully we lived
Bees too tired to dance or sing
Now we hum as one"?
I tried to think of a way to fit Africa but that throws off the count, don't know which matters more to you. Good job with this. :) Carrie
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I love the analogy of the bees humming together as citizens of their environment.
This says 5-7-5? Syllable count is off, hence four stars. Maybe "Mournfully we lived
Bees too tired to dance or sing
Now we hum as one"?
I tried to think of a way to fit Africa but that throws off the count, don't know which matters more to you. Good job with this. :) Carrie
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from Quillian
I like what you came up with for this 5-7-5 prompt. Your entry is almost musical with the use of 'hums'. And the image of your Bees, downtrodden and weary was very strong. Good luck with contest.
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I like what you came up with for this 5-7-5 prompt. Your entry is almost musical with the use of 'hums'. And the image of your Bees, downtrodden and weary was very strong. Good luck with contest.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
