Comment from Maureen's Pen

Excellent

Hi amahra,

New to this story, but I thought you penned this post well. Strong dialogue and build up. Characters crafted with depth and emotion which seems very real.
Great job - thanks for sharing.
Maureen

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013

Thank you Maureen. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from lindalcreel

Excellent

This was beautiful. The story has a nice tone and a great pace. The dialogue was authentic and the characters seemed real to life. I love that the doctor was a veterinarian. It takes a special man to go to all that trouble for an animal. But I've known others who would die for their pets. This was a really nice read. Thanks so much for sharing.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013

Thank you so much lindalcreel.

Comment from Rondeno

Average

Cavalry charges? On the Western Front? Hardly.

I don't think it's a good idea to put "cough" and "sigh" in the text. They're not necessary.

"Second-guessing" didn't become current American English until the 1970s.

You don't need to tell us, after the wager, that the nurses have been cooing over him and betting on the color of his eyes. We understand.

Knowing Nathan was happy would clear Margaret's "conscience", not her "conscious".

It's all a bit "A Farewell To Arms".


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 Comment Written 04-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013

Thanks Rondeno for reading and reviewing.

All of the major combatants in WWI (1914-1918)began the conflict with cavalry forces. The Central Powers, Germany and Austria-Hungary, stopped using them on the Western Front soon after the war, because they were not successful. Though they continued it use on the Eastern Front well into the war, there was one last attempt on the Western Front in 1918 on October 19th by 1st Regiment of the Guides at Burkel, Belgium.

I was talking about the horses that had been injured or killed in those unsuccessful attacks. For you to say that there were never any cavalry charges on the Western Front is false. How would they know such charges weren't successful if they had never used them.

My character was taking horses and mules to supply-lines. These animals were used to carry supplies.

I don't know what you're talking about when you say Second-guessing. You have to show me where I used the turn.

I'll correct the oversight of conscience. And I read Farewell To Arms. If you had read my previous chapters, you would know this is not a war story. This war interrupted my character's lives, so I had to include it. This is a romance story of the 1900s.

Because of your comments, I have included the information of cavalry charges on the Western Front in my author notes. And thank you again, for reading.

reply by Rondeno on 04-Aug-2013

You don't need to cut and paste a lecture on the use of cavalry in the First World War. I know about it. Cavalry charges played no role on the Western Front. By the time the Americans arrived (1917), any hope of using cavalry for assault had long vanished. You say Nathan is caring for horses wounded in such charges. That's just plain wrong. You use "second-guessing" in your text. Read it. As for "A Farewell To Arms", I'm reviewing the chapter which is currently posted, which seems very derivative of that storyline. I make no comment on other chapters.

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013

I never said America. You're confused. The writing was about the suffering of the animals throughout the war. I appreciate your review, but you don't understand my story. I didn't cut and paste, I typed it word-for-word from my research notes. I did not say he cared for horse that were injured in the charges. He cared for horse that were injured on the supply line. If you would read and not scan my story, you wouldn't be making these mistakes.

reply by Rondeno on 04-Aug-2013

"horses that died by artillery fire and skin disorders due to poison gas. Many more injured by barb wire, infections from mud fever, and broken legs during Calvary charges"

That is quoted directly from your post. You DID say he cared for horses wounded in cavalry charges. Insulting me won't make the truth go away.

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013

Didn't mean to come off as insulting. Thanks for you help. I'll change the introductions and clear that up.

Comment from ruhama

Excellent

Coming into a book in the middle is never easy, however, I quickly figured out what was going on, the setting, characters and plot. The characters are well depicted and the main character's love of animals is clearly an important part of the plot. Unrequited love, as well, is a theme which apparently runs through the book. Very enjoyable.

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 Comment Written 04-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013

Thank you so much ruhama. I'm glad you liked it.