Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Nama Moon"Murder Mystery
46 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I liked the way your specific details put us right into the scene in the opening paragraph. I admired your appealing to our sense of sound with the "gong of a bell" simile and the "syncopated rhythm". "Steel met steel" certainly, in your well-written dialog. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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I liked the way your specific details put us right into the scene in the opening paragraph. I admired your appealing to our sense of sound with the "gong of a bell" simile and the "syncopated rhythm". "Steel met steel" certainly, in your well-written dialog. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Hi, Joan. Thanks so much for this very generous and encouraging review. I'm especially grateful for you pointing out the particularly phrases - I kind liked them, too. Hugs, Bev
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I'm always glad to hear we agree! Hugs from Colorado- Joan
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Ha ha - I like Skeets remark about avoiding the places she frequents. Your chapters never fail to amaze me - this is so well written and the conversation so informative, moving the story along - - worth waiting for.
to a perverted serial killer[,](.)" Danika leaned forward - period
Yes(,) he does. - comma
and addressed Danika[.](,) "Would you like - comma
Margaret
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Ha ha - I like Skeets remark about avoiding the places she frequents. Your chapters never fail to amaze me - this is so well written and the conversation so informative, moving the story along - - worth waiting for.
to a perverted serial killer[,](.)" Danika leaned forward - period
Yes(,) he does. - comma
and addressed Danika[.](,) "Would you like - comma
Margaret
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much, Margaret. I'm really honored by your generosity and encouragement. Means so much coming from one of my all-time favorite writers. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Bev,
This is a brilliant post for the story. Loved your detail and as always your imagery makes me feel as if I am there inside this story.
I loved the ending - News people always seem to know ahead of time. You penned this part really well. I liked the wit and humour between the two...and I want more to read:)
Thanks for sharing a skilled write as always.
Maureen
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Hi Bev,
This is a brilliant post for the story. Loved your detail and as always your imagery makes me feel as if I am there inside this story.
I loved the ending - News people always seem to know ahead of time. You penned this part really well. I liked the wit and humour between the two...and I want more to read:)
Thanks for sharing a skilled write as always.
Maureen
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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So good to hear from you, Maureen. Hope you are doing well?
Thanks, my friend, for taking time to read and review so generously. Always wonderful to get your insights.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I smelled the grease, I heard the hubub, I tasted the city water and the chili. How real this all was, Bev. Great post. I especially loved the kicker of an ending! HA! This reporter is canny, alright. I could just imagine the look on Skeets face!
Fantastic set up and very realistic dialogue. I immersed myself in it with ease. Mind you, I always do with your work.
Didn't see a single thing I'd change. Brilliant, as usual.
Love Av
x
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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I smelled the grease, I heard the hubub, I tasted the city water and the chili. How real this all was, Bev. Great post. I especially loved the kicker of an ending! HA! This reporter is canny, alright. I could just imagine the look on Skeets face!
Fantastic set up and very realistic dialogue. I immersed myself in it with ease. Mind you, I always do with your work.
Didn't see a single thing I'd change. Brilliant, as usual.
Love Av
x
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Av, thank you so much for this awesome review! I always feel a special thrill when I get such an encouraging review from a writer I admire so very much. Much appreciated, my friend.
Love, Bev
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Bev,
The story continues to be interesting and engaging. The suspense and drama escalate as the complexity of the story continues as the mystery deepens. The plot is compelling and believable, and the characters are realistic and convincing. The dialog is outstanding as Detective Skeets Epstien and Danika Martin, the reporter, continue their word sparring as the intensity of the conversation increases.
Following are several items you may want to consider:
"The service is fast, I'll grant you that," (is fast; I'll grant or is fast. I'll grant) Comma splice
"Working extra(-)long hours right now, Patty.
That's what my editor is going to say(,) and I'd be inclined to agree with her."
As always, I enjoyed the read.
Curtis
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Bev,
The story continues to be interesting and engaging. The suspense and drama escalate as the complexity of the story continues as the mystery deepens. The plot is compelling and believable, and the characters are realistic and convincing. The dialog is outstanding as Detective Skeets Epstien and Danika Martin, the reporter, continue their word sparring as the intensity of the conversation increases.
Following are several items you may want to consider:
"The service is fast, I'll grant you that," (is fast; I'll grant or is fast. I'll grant) Comma splice
"Working extra(-)long hours right now, Patty.
That's what my editor is going to say(,) and I'd be inclined to agree with her."
As always, I enjoyed the read.
Curtis
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Thanks so much for the very helpful and generous review, Curtis. I always appreciate hearing from you. :0) Bev
Comment from jadapenn
Okay, so we have another blonde baggage who is a real piece of work. Trust the press to get things screwed up. I loved this chapter and now wonder if Oelson really knows what Skeets is up to. Bring it on, Bev. I'm enjoying the book. luv jada
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Okay, so we have another blonde baggage who is a real piece of work. Trust the press to get things screwed up. I loved this chapter and now wonder if Oelson really knows what Skeets is up to. Bring it on, Bev. I'm enjoying the book. luv jada
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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I like blondes, I really do LOL! Jada, thanks so much for awesome review. Danika has her part to play, for sure. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Joy Graham
I hate snakes and my motivation to get that picture off my screen is to read quickly LOL! Not hard to do since this is a terrific story and I have been following it from the beginning :)
I must admit I am confused over the characters. Partly because my brain is getting old and partly because it is a long time between chapters. Not your fault. I appreciate your author notes to help keep the characters straight and sort them all out.
"with the local television (New) Anchor, Danika Martin"- "News"
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I hate snakes and my motivation to get that picture off my screen is to read quickly LOL! Not hard to do since this is a terrific story and I have been following it from the beginning :)
I must admit I am confused over the characters. Partly because my brain is getting old and partly because it is a long time between chapters. Not your fault. I appreciate your author notes to help keep the characters straight and sort them all out.
"with the local television (New) Anchor, Danika Martin"- "News"
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Hi, Joy. Thanks so much for this awesome review. Danika showed up once before in a much earlier chapter. And the former Detective Newstead was featured earlier as well. It has been a while so I'm not surprised you didn't remember as I had to check their names too. I really appreciate your continued support and generosity, Joy. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Rondeno
Brilliant, Bev! What hasn't this been published already? It has that "something" which distinguishes the professional author from all of the wannabe's. It's just superb.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Brilliant, Bev! What hasn't this been published already? It has that "something" which distinguishes the professional author from all of the wannabe's. It's just superb.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Mike, thank you so very much for this wonderfully generous review. I sure appreciate the encouragement from a writer I so admire. Hugs, Bev
Comment from alexgeorge
Oh, she is soooomsmooth. She knew all that and was just using him to verify her info.
Patty was being quite annoying through all this, so I can tell Danika must be a stuck up broad to draw such a reaction from the waitress.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Oh, she is soooomsmooth. She knew all that and was just using him to verify her info.
Patty was being quite annoying through all this, so I can tell Danika must be a stuck up broad to draw such a reaction from the waitress.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Hi, Alex. Thank you so very much for your generous review and taking time to read. Much appreciated! Bev
Comment from Green Lake Girl
I love this chapter, Bev! The story continues to heat up. I like how you pull in all the side stories and intrigue that goes along with a big murder investigation. Danika is a great character. Nobody's fool. There's a lot going on and that makes for a great read.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I love this chapter, Bev! The story continues to heat up. I like how you pull in all the side stories and intrigue that goes along with a big murder investigation. Danika is a great character. Nobody's fool. There's a lot going on and that makes for a great read.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much, my friend. I am thrilled you loved the chapter. I only hope I can keep all these threads straight in my mind LOL. Your support and generosity mean a lot. :0) Bev
