Reviews from

Family

Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Little Pirates"
Personal poems

27 total reviews 
Comment from cvcopac
Excellent
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I did that too. Then we discovered (or someone did) that inner-tubes was the way to go. Cute and clever verse and made me laugh in remembrance. Kenny

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
    Thank you Kenny. Yes, tubing is so much easier.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
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This is a very well told story, very fun rhyme and so well done. Did the picture or the poem come first. I always wonder what inspires people. Rox

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
    Thanks Roxanna. I wrote the poem, then searched for the picture. But often I'll go through my photographs and write a poem inspired by the picture. So, for me, it can go either way.
Comment from jgirlie152
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A very delightful poem of your childhood and attempting to become pirates. Those were the best days, when you believe you can be whatever you choose. As children, my brothers and I were like you, always on an adventure, seldom succeeding, but lots of fun and excitement in trying.
Best regards, Joan

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
    Thank you Joan. Yes, it is such fun to remember back to those times.
Comment from Angel Debbie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What great imagary. I can picture my boys when they were young doing something like this! Nice story. Great picture to boot! I guess memories are best relived with our children in mind. Thanks for the great read!

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thank youAngelmDebbie. I really appreciate your comments and all those stars.
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Treischel,

I love this story poem and I sense a grain of truth in it. My boys and their friends were always building forts and their imaginary wars kept them busy all the time. You have penned a good rhyme, the flow is smooth, Your word selections are descriptive and the theme is excellent. Well done and good luck in the contest...chey

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thank you Chey. Yes, there is some truth in it.
reply by cheyennewy on 26-Jun-2013
    I thought so!
Comment from Capricorn30
Excellent
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Fun achieved in creative fashion as young boys replicate actions of adventure as so well-expressed in a writing of childhood past-times.
A well-penned pirate theme utilized in fond memories of days gone by.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thank you Caoricorn. It was fun to write.
reply by Capricorn30 on 25-Jun-2013
    As poetry should be!!
Comment from Sararb
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Such a delightful poem about childhood memories of building your own pirate ship. This would be a perfect poem for a children's book. I can remember as a child we used to play Tarzan in the woods near our home. It was so much fun trying to recreate Tarzan and Jane. Thanks for sharing. Sararb

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thank you. So much Sara. Wow! Six stars, that's GREAT!
Comment from Gungalo
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On the maiden trip
Of our pirate ship,
Pushed it in the drink,
As we watched it sink,
Floundering in the bay,
Heard my matey's(mateys) say.

As pirates, we Stink!

Heheh poor pirates. Their own ship sank. Must have been a big disappointment. eh Tom? Well the building of her kept you busy.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thanks Gungalo. Yup! The activity with buddies and anticipation of adventure were the best part. Fixed it. Thanks.
reply by Gungalo on 25-Jun-2013
    Smile guy.
Comment from Dean Kuch
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Ha,ha, been there, done that!

This was a fun one, Mr. T. I could picture you all there, as young boys, tongues protruding slightly, faces of concentration all around as you worked diligently on your pirate ship. Then, with great anticipation, hauling it out to the water for it's maiden voyage...then, right to the bottom she goes, matey! Glub, glub...glub.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thank you Dean. Yup, that's about how it went. Hoping for a smile, happy with a laugh.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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strong rhymes
good use of enjambment to keep the story flowing
love the comic aside about how the men weren't actually men LOL
excellent detail of the makeshift pirated craft
I'm laughing out loud at the sinking ship :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thanks Brooke. I was hoping for at least a smile. Happy I got a whole laugh!