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All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Beginnings and Endings"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

105 total reviews 
Comment from GWHARGIS
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Awesome poem. I iked how you view the childhood and the way a child never questions things just enjoys life. Then as we age the questions are posed and we view everything in direct response to how it affects us. Nice writing.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Bless you for your lovely six on this one my dear! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from mumsyone
Excellent
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So what is this life? Is it all love or lust?
And why are we here on this merry-go-round?
Is life only ashes, then dust into dust?
Am I just a clock that's been too tightly wound?

A great poem and a fun read, Sharyn. Good rhyme and meter and a consistent message throughout. I especially like the above verse.

Lois

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Bless you Lois - thank you so much!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from justchillin
Excellent
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Life is an illusion, we have just this moment. So beautifully written, I loved the rhyming and style and the feminine endings. The waltz too, is wonderful. Thank you for writing such a thought provoking poem. Well done xx

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
    Thank you for such a lovely reading, my dear - I love it when people "get" my pieces.
    Blessings,
    Sharyn
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Excellent
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This is an excellent, thought-provoking philosophical poem. It reminds me so much of Biblical passages from the Psalms and Job in which the speaker wonder's why he's here, why life's so perplexing and dificult--then reminds himself (and the reader) that God put us here; we're here "by design."

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    and comforting to believe, Janice, correct? Thx so much!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from vapros
Excellent
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Five stars today for this excellent poem, with deadly accurate rhyme and meter, as well as a cohesive, inquisitive flow throughout. In an entertaining fashion you ask after the experiences between first and last breath.


Detailed author's notes, I think, will be of great interest to only a few purists. They tend to make this fine poem appear as an engineering exercise. A successful one, to be sure, but even so -

v

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    no worries my dear - some people enjoy author's notes - I never feel under any obligation to read them. I rarely write them, but wanted people to understand quite a complex rhythm. :)S
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
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So what is this life? Is it all love or lust?
And why are we here on this merry-go-round?
Is life only ashes, then dust into dust?
Am I just a clock that's been too tightly wound? ... my favourite stanza - powerful questions - will she find the answers?

So, gyred and whorling, we're here by Design,
we're helixes, vortexes, one giant wheel,
created as humans, with purpose divine -
beginnings and endings will never be real. ... fabulous, hopeful conclusion.

Twinnie, I was waltzing with you! Nicely done. No more sixes left for you ... sorry! :) Hugs xxx


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    Thanks so much my dear - I wrote it as a centerpiece to one of the monologues. (I'm re-writing, substituting my poetry instead of other peoples' music, so I don't have to spend a fortune on royalties to perform my OWN show). So glad you liked this one! Big hugs
    :)Sharyn
reply by Selina Stambi on 24-Jun-2013
    Your OWN show ... wish I could be in the audience .... ! DREAM BIG

    Hugs back xxx
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    I did it once for Fringe a couple of years ago - I won - but would love to mainstream it - and I have a 2nd show too. Hard to do it mainstream from Maui though!
Comment from SteveY
Excellent
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Nicely done again! Why are we here? I believe it's to come to know God! This is life eternal that we come to know God! You've kind of captured this in your beautiful poem!

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    Thanks so much Steve. :)Sharyn
Comment from Nuad1
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I liked everything about this work from the first verse through the last! I learned so much from your Author Notes, too. I am a writer since childhood who views herself so "free" that she struggles immensely with rhyming schemes, etc. Your notes helped me want to eventually try a formal structured work. Thank YOU!

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    Thank you so much for your wonderful six on this one Nuad. I've found that you do have to practice a LOT to do metered verse well - I used to be really bad at it, but have learned a lot on this site and writing constantly is the only way to improve. So keep at it, ok?
    Blessings,
    Sharyn
Comment from TheNakedPoet
Excellent
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a beautiful flow to your clever rhyme and it seemed to fit the waltz rhythm very well
i loved this stanza

We circle and spin in perpetual motion
and outgoing tides are the tides of all men,
the incoming tides just the breath of the ocean
and these tides will turn, and then turn once again.

the circle of life and nature spinning as one
ever turning
i liked this very much
Ariana

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    Thank you so much for dancing with me Ariana! :)Sharyn
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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I like the message in this work and the suggestion that the 'beginning and endings' are our own manufactured way of keeping time in an otherwise timeless existence.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
    Thank you so much, Bill - I'm so glad you 'got' this one.
    :)Sharyn