All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Sticky-notes"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
146 total reviews
Comment from ladyekels4
This free verse does actually pick you up drop you in to the picture painted with words! I don't usually connect very well with this format but the alliteration and the emotional connection work so well. Thank you for sharing. - Kelly
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
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This free verse does actually pick you up drop you in to the picture painted with words! I don't usually connect very well with this format but the alliteration and the emotional connection work so well. Thank you for sharing. - Kelly
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
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oh bless you Kelly - I'm so glad you made a connection with my piece - and 'mahalo' for reviewing for a measly two cents!
:) Sharyn
Comment from manicblue
hmmmm It took a couple reads to understand the depth of your poem. I'm one of those people that think lines should break after a completed thought, or when punctuation calls. There should be a certain length to each line, maybe even some meter and a tad of rhyme.
Given all that, I re-read without my OCDish adherence to form. And I loved it. Aptly named, well written, emotionally sad and touching, mature, and infinitely lonely. Loss is like that, and you captured it well. It hurts to armour-plate a heart. Blessings.
mb xx
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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hmmmm It took a couple reads to understand the depth of your poem. I'm one of those people that think lines should break after a completed thought, or when punctuation calls. There should be a certain length to each line, maybe even some meter and a tad of rhyme.
Given all that, I re-read without my OCDish adherence to form. And I loved it. Aptly named, well written, emotionally sad and touching, mature, and infinitely lonely. Loss is like that, and you captured it well. It hurts to armour-plate a heart. Blessings.
mb xx
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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And blessings back to you, mb, for re-reading! There's lots of internal rhyming etc to keep a poet happy, so I'm glad you decided to walk on the wild side with this one my dear!
:)Sharyn
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:D i'm glad i gave it another read - was well worth it. i won't ever look at sticky notes the same.
mb xx
Comment from donaldww
I love your bah, humbug approach to love, and your enumeration of specific details that you find ordinary and banal at home.
But you ensure the reader is aware of what you do still love, before letting loose. This tells me that you want the reader to realize you've still got your feet on the ground and haven't lost it. Yet.
One small technical point: confetti is a noun. Here it is being used as a verb, which sounds wrong to my ears.
Excellent free verse poem! I hope you win or at least place in the contest; I'm beyond the saturation point reading grandma-died-last-year-and-I-loved-her poems that usually win.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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I love your bah, humbug approach to love, and your enumeration of specific details that you find ordinary and banal at home.
But you ensure the reader is aware of what you do still love, before letting loose. This tells me that you want the reader to realize you've still got your feet on the ground and haven't lost it. Yet.
One small technical point: confetti is a noun. Here it is being used as a verb, which sounds wrong to my ears.
Excellent free verse poem! I hope you win or at least place in the contest; I'm beyond the saturation point reading grandma-died-last-year-and-I-loved-her poems that usually win.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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oh DW - do you honestly think I don't know 'confetti' is a noun dear? I figure if Gerard Manley Hopkins can do it, I can do, but only on special occasions, natch! And I doubt very much that I'll place as grandma-dying-last-year-and-I-loved-her-red-roses-and-rainbows or I-was-abused-in-gory-detail are bound to be the hot properties! You do make me laugh!
blessings
Sharyn
Comment from Glasstruth
You've captured what love is like when the house is empty, and sticky-notes are just a reminder of what used to be. Your home is love, as you mention it's more than just paint and bricks, it's the way the light shines in, etc... which makes a home, along with the memories you seem content. A love that is still there. Superb! Good luck with the contest. Les
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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You've captured what love is like when the house is empty, and sticky-notes are just a reminder of what used to be. Your home is love, as you mention it's more than just paint and bricks, it's the way the light shines in, etc... which makes a home, along with the memories you seem content. A love that is still there. Superb! Good luck with the contest. Les
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Bless you Les - thank you so much for 'getting' this one, AND, of course, for the big sixer! :))Sharyn
Comment from me_tudor
This was a great poem but was a bit sad. I hope it's not something that you are personally going through. I liked the way you did the end of the poem with the words spaced out. Great job!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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This was a great poem but was a bit sad. I hope it's not something that you are personally going through. I liked the way you did the end of the poem with the words spaced out. Great job!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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No worries my dear - but thank you so much for your sweet concern. I think we've all been through times like this, but hopefully, get through to the light on the other side, yes? But the memory of those moments always stays ...
:)Sharyn
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Well, I'm sorry you've had something like that happen to you. I hope your life is better now.
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oh yes, my dear - but that's what poetry is about, isn't it? :)))
Comment from angelmagnet
Hi Sharyn, on this day that I chose to check back in, I'm so pleased to find this piece of you that is so very you and touching. Smiles, Cindy
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Hi Sharyn, on this day that I chose to check back in, I'm so pleased to find this piece of you that is so very you and touching. Smiles, Cindy
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Bless you Cindy - I'm so glad you checked back in, my dear. I haven't seen you posting for a while. Is everything okay for you?
:)Sharyn
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I guess I needed a break and besides that my Dragon wasn't working. The sound card on my old computer wasn't the best one for what I needed. Glad to be back
Comment from CheyLGwriter
I truly understand why this piece is an all time best. Because it speaks to the heart more than anything else. I can really relate to each and every line. Thanks for sharing!!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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I truly understand why this piece is an all time best. Because it speaks to the heart more than anything else. I can really relate to each and every line. Thanks for sharing!!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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oh bless you Cheryl - I'm so glad you 'felt' this one, my dear. How are YOU????
:)Sharyn
Comment from Yvon
This was well written. It started off sloww and then picked up the pace. Had me wondering where it would lead to. Good job!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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This was well written. It started off sloww and then picked up the pace. Had me wondering where it would lead to. Good job!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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aah, good to be lured in Yvon, hmm? so glad you went on that journey with me - thank you so much!
:)Sharyn
Comment from nomi338
When one who meant so much is no longer there, all we have left is the memory of what was and no longer is. I have never read or heard it put better. Your bitter sweet reminiscences are so poignant that they literally break my heart for the fear that I mat one day meet a similar fate. Wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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When one who meant so much is no longer there, all we have left is the memory of what was and no longer is. I have never read or heard it put better. Your bitter sweet reminiscences are so poignant that they literally break my heart for the fear that I mat one day meet a similar fate. Wonderful poem.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Bless you nomi! :)Sharyn
Comment from TiffanyLeeBaldwin
What a great write. So much passion... so much heart... your emotion radiates off of your words and touches me. Your vocabulary is beautiful and the structure and format of this write is perfect.
Tiffany
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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What a great write. So much passion... so much heart... your emotion radiates off of your words and touches me. Your vocabulary is beautiful and the structure and format of this write is perfect.
Tiffany
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much for your lovely response Tiffany!
:)Sharyn
