My Life, Sport for the Divine!
A humorous take on a life guided by the gods15 total reviews
Comment from Jaq Cee
Sorry I don't have a 6 left for this very clever write.
I enjoyed reading this and it kept my interest from beginning to end. Good rhythm, rhyming and flow. :) Jaq x
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
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Sorry I don't have a 6 left for this very clever write.
I enjoyed reading this and it kept my interest from beginning to end. Good rhythm, rhyming and flow. :) Jaq x
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
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Thanks Jaq. Your virtual 6 is more than enough! :) All the best R
Comment from J. Dark
Hi Raoul,
I enjoyed this very much and it is a clever concept that works well. A good edge of humour too. I enjoy poetry most when it tells a properly set out and entertaining story within and this is a good example.
I liked the way the format switched between AABB and ABAB rhyme and the way you stood the stanzas out in bold to reflect this.
The story itself is well told, entertaining and appealing.
The only line I did not quite get was now "Now my race is run, I needs must close my eyes".
For concept alone, this is probably worth six stars, so forgive me for awarding five but I have run out.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :0)
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
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Hi Raoul,
I enjoyed this very much and it is a clever concept that works well. A good edge of humour too. I enjoy poetry most when it tells a properly set out and entertaining story within and this is a good example.
I liked the way the format switched between AABB and ABAB rhyme and the way you stood the stanzas out in bold to reflect this.
The story itself is well told, entertaining and appealing.
The only line I did not quite get was now "Now my race is run, I needs must close my eyes".
For concept alone, this is probably worth six stars, so forgive me for awarding five but I have run out.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :0)
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
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Thanks Mrs Dark for your help in this van endeavour. I believe I have now reached 15 reviews! :) The line you quote is meant to indicate that my time is up i.e I am ready to die. Your virtual 6 is more than enough reward so dont worry! Thanks for your help!
Comment from Kiki12
wow, that was quite a feat! You tell such an entertaining tale of your fate's encounter with the gods. And I love the role of the scribes as you run through this odyssey as they guide you in which game of chance. Excellent meter and rhyme, clever literary references. just a well written poem all around.
xx
Kiki
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
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wow, that was quite a feat! You tell such an entertaining tale of your fate's encounter with the gods. And I love the role of the scribes as you run through this odyssey as they guide you in which game of chance. Excellent meter and rhyme, clever literary references. just a well written poem all around.
xx
Kiki
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
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Thanks Kiki for your help in this vain endeavour :) Glad you liked it! R, x
Comment from Siouxsun
Very well done, so much to consider. Though it is meant for humor it is very well thought out with much introspection. Great job with this! It should never have receive a four in my opinion.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Very well done, so much to consider. Though it is meant for humor it is very well thought out with much introspection. Great job with this! It should never have receive a four in my opinion.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Thanks for the kind words! R
Comment from trevorletang
Erudite, astute , words for the gods , shades of ancient poets and philosophers. Great effort and creativity to come up with this composition, but you would have to well read to fully appreciate your poetic piece.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Erudite, astute , words for the gods , shades of ancient poets and philosophers. Great effort and creativity to come up with this composition, but you would have to well read to fully appreciate your poetic piece.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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I feared that but I do love the greek myths, i hope there are enough of such on here to appreciate the poem . Thanks for your review! R
Comment from D.I.S.M
I want you to know, I have NEVER given a 6 star rating before. But I think your poem, was witty, fun, clever and I couldn't find anything to comment on. Normally I can find a missing coma or a confusing section. I had to look up a few things, which I don't mind, one should always learn something new when reading...
So I'm afraid my review is useless to you in terms as nothing I have said will help you improve... but I think you hit the nail on the head. its a great poem.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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I want you to know, I have NEVER given a 6 star rating before. But I think your poem, was witty, fun, clever and I couldn't find anything to comment on. Normally I can find a missing coma or a confusing section. I had to look up a few things, which I don't mind, one should always learn something new when reading...
So I'm afraid my review is useless to you in terms as nothing I have said will help you improve... but I think you hit the nail on the head. its a great poem.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Hey, your compliment is useful to me though D.I.S.M so please dont ever stop giving out reviews and sixes. If you look at the reviews I had for this poem, the first two were 4s for a long while which made me think I had somehow deluded myself about the quality of the poem as I did put a lot of thinking into it (at the expense of my normal job). So your comment and others subsequent have done more than reassure me firstly in the fairness of reviewers and secondly it has restored faith in my instincts. Thanks once again as you've done a lot more than you realized but now realize! :) R
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh, I laughed and laughed. This was a nice piece to enjoy. Light and yet heavy, funny and yet a touch of the "gods" so keep it stately. Nice rhyme and flow. Great job
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Oh, I laughed and laughed. This was a nice piece to enjoy. Light and yet heavy, funny and yet a touch of the "gods" so keep it stately. Nice rhyme and flow. Great job
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thanks Barb for the comments and the scoring! R
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Good Morning, Raoul,
This excellent poetry. This poem has good flow and rhyme. It follows a rhyme scheme consistently and has good structure.
It uses figurative language to describe an amazing scene. Its repetition is effective. However I see nothing humorous in it other than life is a joke with most of the decisions being in the "lap of the gods". I am amazed the breadth of classical knowledge shown in this poem. I really enjoyed this poem.
Preston
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Good Morning, Raoul,
This excellent poetry. This poem has good flow and rhyme. It follows a rhyme scheme consistently and has good structure.
It uses figurative language to describe an amazing scene. Its repetition is effective. However I see nothing humorous in it other than life is a joke with most of the decisions being in the "lap of the gods". I am amazed the breadth of classical knowledge shown in this poem. I really enjoyed this poem.
Preston
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thanks Preston. Glad you liked it. I have indeed been fascinated by Greek myths and enjoy them more than biblical stories because at least they don't purport to be anything more than fantasy which can allow one's mind to dream. The humour I was hintng at is exactly that which you point out. For the atheists amongt us, by assuming life's course is random we have reduced it to a game somewhat and if we could realize this, we could take anything that happens to us much more easily and readily for thinking it is no more than a dice landing wrongly or a tails being called instead of heads. Helps ease the pain when bad things happen and temper our delights when good things happen. Anyway, that;s my philosophy :) R
Comment from NicciFaye
Well done Raoul - This is amazing. I really enjoyed this. I like the different stanza which you've alternated every other one with bold face to read better. The content is exceptionally. I, too, love Greek mythology, fantasy to me, but still love it. You did well with this poem. Hope to read more from you.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Well done Raoul - This is amazing. I really enjoyed this. I like the different stanza which you've alternated every other one with bold face to read better. The content is exceptionally. I, too, love Greek mythology, fantasy to me, but still love it. You did well with this poem. Hope to read more from you.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thanks Nicci. Glad you like it and cherished the presentation which I thought would help. R
Comment from Garry Souders
With scribes and Gods aplenty, this story took me on a speedy ride through the universe of the acts of gods and the words of scribes, both of which make me smile. You have done a marvelous job, I offer no fixes for I see no breaks, I only send praise your way and appreciate what you wrote, Thanks.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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With scribes and Gods aplenty, this story took me on a speedy ride through the universe of the acts of gods and the words of scribes, both of which make me smile. You have done a marvelous job, I offer no fixes for I see no breaks, I only send praise your way and appreciate what you wrote, Thanks.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thanks Garry for the kind words and whopping score. I'm pleased this resonated with you too! R
