Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Do You See the Stars?"Shorter stories
32 total reviews
Comment from brenda faye curtis
This beautiful story also melted my eyes. I hope you won a contest with this revived story, because it certainly does deserve to win. Thank you for sharing this!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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This beautiful story also melted my eyes. I hope you won a contest with this revived story, because it certainly does deserve to win. Thank you for sharing this!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Thank you, Brenda. Brought it up to revise for a ss book.
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You're welcome, Bill.
Comment from J W Warner
First--great title! Grabbed my attention.
This story is very moving. In a short piece, I really felt I knew these characters and became emotionally invested in them. I would love to read more about them.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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First--great title! Grabbed my attention.
This story is very moving. In a short piece, I really felt I knew these characters and became emotionally invested in them. I would love to read more about them.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Thanks, JW
Comment from Rene Ravensdale
This is amazing, it's full of emotions in not so many words,
It's tragic the fact that the time between the father and son continued to dwindle until it was the end, but it was clear that the time away did not matter enough to disturb the feelings on LøvÄ? and caring between the two.
I like how simple yet so full of deep meaning this story is.
Keep on the writing !
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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This is amazing, it's full of emotions in not so many words,
It's tragic the fact that the time between the father and son continued to dwindle until it was the end, but it was clear that the time away did not matter enough to disturb the feelings on LøvÄ? and caring between the two.
I like how simple yet so full of deep meaning this story is.
Keep on the writing !
Comment Written 29-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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Thank you, Rene
Comment from estory
I think it's a poignant story of reconnection between father and son, and that last scene of them finally seeing the stars together, through the blindness, through all the struggles of life and loss, is pretty emotional. It's a great story of giving up yourself for someone else that you love; sort of like Gift of the Magi by O Henry. estory
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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I think it's a poignant story of reconnection between father and son, and that last scene of them finally seeing the stars together, through the blindness, through all the struggles of life and loss, is pretty emotional. It's a great story of giving up yourself for someone else that you love; sort of like Gift of the Magi by O Henry. estory
Comment Written 28-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Thanks, e, for the great review
Comment from Ulla
Oh, Bill, that is a moving story. It actually brought tears to my eyes, which I'm wiping away so I can write this review. A father's unconditional love is so very clearly on display here and now his dying. Very tender story. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2018
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Oh, Bill, that is a moving story. It actually brought tears to my eyes, which I'm wiping away so I can write this review. A father's unconditional love is so very clearly on display here and now his dying. Very tender story. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Ulla
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Hi Bill.
This is a beautiful story and a fine entry into the flash fiction contest.
The selfless love of both father and mother is portrayed well and the theme continues with clarity throughout the story.
The ending ties in perfectly with the beginning and is quite touching.
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2018
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Hi Bill.
This is a beautiful story and a fine entry into the flash fiction contest.
The selfless love of both father and mother is portrayed well and the theme continues with clarity throughout the story.
The ending ties in perfectly with the beginning and is quite touching.
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 26-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Shirley
Comment from BeasPeas
What a wonderful entry into the contest. Your writing is clear and interesting, well described with good scene setting and explanations of story line. Marilyn
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2018
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What a wonderful entry into the contest. Your writing is clear and interesting, well described with good scene setting and explanations of story line. Marilyn
Comment Written 26-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Marilyn
Comment from Sally Law
Love this Bill! Great job, tender and sweet. It hits home with me because I am blind, although not entirely. My doctors said in the next year or so I should know for sure how much I will have remaining. Really, only God knows for sure. Anyway, when the Solar Eclipse of 2017 happened I wanted to see it badly. My husband drove me from Orlamdo to Jacksonville to see it at 90 percent totality. I purchased the good solar viewing glasses for my entire family. It was raining, but miraculously cleared for just a few minutes. I put the viewing glasses aover my regular glasses. Nothing. I then took off my glasses and placed just the solar viewing glasses on. I looked up and there it was. I could see it perfectly! Understand, I can't even see the eye chart on the wall at the doctor's office. I consider this a miracle as you have described in your story and I can truly appreciate seeing the heavens.
All my best,
Sally
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2018
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Love this Bill! Great job, tender and sweet. It hits home with me because I am blind, although not entirely. My doctors said in the next year or so I should know for sure how much I will have remaining. Really, only God knows for sure. Anyway, when the Solar Eclipse of 2017 happened I wanted to see it badly. My husband drove me from Orlamdo to Jacksonville to see it at 90 percent totality. I purchased the good solar viewing glasses for my entire family. It was raining, but miraculously cleared for just a few minutes. I put the viewing glasses aover my regular glasses. Nothing. I then took off my glasses and placed just the solar viewing glasses on. I looked up and there it was. I could see it perfectly! Understand, I can't even see the eye chart on the wall at the doctor's office. I consider this a miracle as you have described in your story and I can truly appreciate seeing the heavens.
All my best,
Sally
Comment Written 26-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Sally, for the kind review and the sixth star. Your real-life story is much more impressive.
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You?re so welcome!
Comment from nomi338
Congratulations Bill. I surely never thought that you had within you a story as deep and compelling as this. You really touched me with this one, as I am a real sucker for stories like this. If I was a suspicious type I might think that you didn't even write this yourself. This was a really well written story.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018
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Congratulations Bill. I surely never thought that you had within you a story as deep and compelling as this. You really touched me with this one, as I am a real sucker for stories like this. If I was a suspicious type I might think that you didn't even write this yourself. This was a really well written story.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018
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I wrote this five years ago. It was my attempt to create a reaction from the reader. Thanks for the great review.
Comment from Earl Corp
This had a Cats in the Cradle vibe to it. I didn't see any glaring errors that you would need to be fix. I dont know if this a contest entry now or when you originally wrote it. If it is for now good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018
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This had a Cats in the Cradle vibe to it. I didn't see any glaring errors that you would need to be fix. I dont know if this a contest entry now or when you originally wrote it. If it is for now good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018
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This is re-promoted from five years ago. I write lighter these days.
