All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "When Will I Learn?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
39 total reviews
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Sharyn, I have a magical, rain inducing car. Whenever I wash it, we have a rain storm within 12 hours.
I love the way you describe the clouds gathering. I sensed the anticipation. Will it rain or won't it?
I like the way you presented this as well, with the emphasis on certain words and phrases.
Well done. I enjoyed the read.
Av
reply by the author on 16-May-2013
  |
Sharyn, I have a magical, rain inducing car. Whenever I wash it, we have a rain storm within 12 hours.
I love the way you describe the clouds gathering. I sensed the anticipation. Will it rain or won't it?
I like the way you presented this as well, with the emphasis on certain words and phrases.
Well done. I enjoyed the read.
Av
Comment Written 15-May-2013
reply by the author on 16-May-2013
-
Thx so much Av - you'll want to keep that thing under cover most of the time over where you are dear!
:)S
Comment from God's Writer
A beautiful poem with sermon inside. I wish you would read my poetry. I don't care if you agree with the content. Just please read it for its literary forms. Your about the only one left on fanstory that is honest with me and will help me get better. Please consider it.
reply by the author on 15-May-2013
|
A beautiful poem with sermon inside. I wish you would read my poetry. I don't care if you agree with the content. Just please read it for its literary forms. Your about the only one left on fanstory that is honest with me and will help me get better. Please consider it.
Comment Written 15-May-2013
reply by the author on 15-May-2013
-
Always happy to Erick - I just don't really enjoy a lot of "God" stuff to be quite honest. Anything else, happy to. God stuff, I don't want to offend you. :)
-
You can't just go on flow and cadence?
-
Erick, I like to read a variety of work dear - not all on the same subject. Occasionally I'll read a religious piece, but I just can't read them all on the same theme. I'm being honest here, ok? I love your prose pieces and I love your layered metaphysical / fairy/ imagery pieces but I do get tired of the God stuff - I guess I just got totally browned off with the Righteous Riter things which were extremely tiresome to read - hate it when someone bludgeons me to death with religion. Very different from "spirituality", yes?
-
I am just working on a book of religious poems right. Then I will get back to my variety. I have put in some varity, but you had stopped reading my work.
-
Erick, whenever you have something special you'd like me to read & review dear, just send me a PM (private message), ok? I'm always happy to help, but I do over-dose on God stuff, as explained - that's probably WHY - NOW I understand!
Blessings,
Sharyn
-
I do understand. I got a contract with a publisher. I have to have three books done by August. I put the ones I have questions about on fanstory to work out the bugs. After I am done. I will go back to my variety of poetry writing.
Comment from Lulube
This is obviously a spiritual poem that I do not want to offend. It is beautiful but with humor and I like it. I only interpreted the last comment to be A trust in the Farmers Almanac. It's looked at like a weathers bible of a sort
lulube
reply by the author on 15-May-2013
|
This is obviously a spiritual poem that I do not want to offend. It is beautiful but with humor and I like it. I only interpreted the last comment to be A trust in the Farmers Almanac. It's looked at like a weathers bible of a sort
lulube
Comment Written 15-May-2013
reply by the author on 15-May-2013
-
spirituality and humor are a fine mix my dear, no worries! :))
-
ok fine
lulube
Comment from Patti R.
Ah, Sharyn, when you write freely like this, I can almost hear you (complete with Aussie accent softened by years of Hawaiian sun).
oh boy, have I asked myself this question! Many times. Some things we learn, others have to keep hitting us over the head - like the fact that we are not actually the controllers of the universe! Sweet, sweet rain.
Loved this.
Patti
reply by the author on 15-May-2013
 |
Ah, Sharyn, when you write freely like this, I can almost hear you (complete with Aussie accent softened by years of Hawaiian sun).
oh boy, have I asked myself this question! Many times. Some things we learn, others have to keep hitting us over the head - like the fact that we are not actually the controllers of the universe! Sweet, sweet rain.
Loved this.
Patti
Comment Written 15-May-2013
reply by the author on 15-May-2013
-
oh Patti, what a doll! thank you SO much for your lovely six on this one. It JUST happened to me a couple of days ago and I had to laugh, because I realized it had probably been happening every year for about forty years! Duh!!!
Blessings & much warm "mahalo"
S
Comment from Jendowoz
Love the story in this poem, Sharyn. It is much more than a poem it reads as a wonderful story and tells us of faith and trust. Loved it!
regards, Jen
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
|
Love the story in this poem, Sharyn. It is much more than a poem it reads as a wonderful story and tells us of faith and trust. Loved it!
regards, Jen
Comment Written 14-May-2013
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
-
aah bless you for getting the subtle bits in here Jen! :)S
Comment from Lucy26
Beautifully written. Had a nice flow and rhythm. How funny as soon as you start to paint it starts to rain. Yes we need to learn to trust. I have learned this last year to finally trust God and I found out how much i enjoy writing.
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
|
Beautifully written. Had a nice flow and rhythm. How funny as soon as you start to paint it starts to rain. Yes we need to learn to trust. I have learned this last year to finally trust God and I found out how much i enjoy writing.
Comment Written 14-May-2013
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
-
"Trust" is certainly a magic word Lucy, isn't it? We learn lessons about it all our lives I think.
Blessings,
Sharyn
-
Absolutely it is a lifetime of learning to trust.
Comment from poetbear
Great technique here.
Nice use of poetic devices.
Reads well and makes sense.
Readers and writers alike will relate to this ne.
Nice image.
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
|
Great technique here.
Nice use of poetic devices.
Reads well and makes sense.
Readers and writers alike will relate to this ne.
Nice image.
Comment Written 14-May-2013
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
-
thx so much pb! :)Sharyn
Comment from me_tudor
This is so true. Just when we think we've reached the end of our rope, whether it be drought or problems, God always shows up just when we think we can't handle it anymore.
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
|
This is so true. Just when we think we've reached the end of our rope, whether it be drought or problems, God always shows up just when we think we can't handle it anymore.
Comment Written 14-May-2013
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
-
wow! AND this one!! :)S
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend so much feeling incorporated into this poem you have done very well with its presentation too regards Jill
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
|
Yes this is well written my friend so much feeling incorporated into this poem you have done very well with its presentation too regards Jill
Comment Written 14-May-2013
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
-
thx so much jill! :)S
Comment from Kiki12
Um, yes- I think we do continually ask this :)
I love your tantrum mid way through when you're reading to rip everything apart- I can totally relate to that feeling!
I love this stanza:
watching clouds gather and play
slowly wisp at the top of folded valleys
mist and tease in breezy shadows then
dissipate
before each burned morning
It's beautifully written - great assonance for internal rhyming and wonderful imagery that evokes the feeling of frustration as we watch the hope dissipate with the wisps.
Lovely chickie-
xx
Kiki
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
|
Um, yes- I think we do continually ask this :)
I love your tantrum mid way through when you're reading to rip everything apart- I can totally relate to that feeling!
I love this stanza:
watching clouds gather and play
slowly wisp at the top of folded valleys
mist and tease in breezy shadows then
dissipate
before each burned morning
It's beautifully written - great assonance for internal rhyming and wonderful imagery that evokes the feeling of frustration as we watch the hope dissipate with the wisps.
Lovely chickie-
xx
Kiki
Comment Written 14-May-2013
reply by the author on 14-May-2013
-
Thx Kiki! :)S
