Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Grandson and I"Personal poems
15 total reviews
Comment from JeffreyVPerry
I like this poem through and through. But I have one thing to ask. Your rhyming schemes? Would your think if from the second stanza, if you rhymed every other line, 1-2-1-2, rather than 1-2-2-1 it would sound and read easier? Now, I ask this solely because I used to rhyme that way 1-2-2-1, but change it to the more natural 1-2-1-2 and it seemed to flow smoother to me. This is NOT a comment, just an observation, because I do not know if one is better than the other or not.
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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I like this poem through and through. But I have one thing to ask. Your rhyming schemes? Would your think if from the second stanza, if you rhymed every other line, 1-2-1-2, rather than 1-2-2-1 it would sound and read easier? Now, I ask this solely because I used to rhyme that way 1-2-2-1, but change it to the more natural 1-2-1-2 and it seemed to flow smoother to me. This is NOT a comment, just an observation, because I do not know if one is better than the other or not.
Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Thank you Jeffrey. I don't necessarily use the envelope rhyme scheme, abba or 1221, very often. I just chose it for this one for a change. Here's what I think, it works fine with short lines like this poem had, with two to four words per line, because you don't lose the rhyme. With longer lines it's harder to hold the link to the rhyme. So, I liked it in this one.
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Thanks for that!
Comment from lakeport
Grandson and I, indeed I feed all kinds of birds every day,the blue birds love the peanuts..That's a very lovely story poem,nice rhyming.I enjoyed reading it,God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Grandson and I, indeed I feed all kinds of birds every day,the blue birds love the peanuts..That's a very lovely story poem,nice rhyming.I enjoyed reading it,God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Thank you Lakeport. I love to have bluebirds. Did get a Cardinal.
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your welcome,we got Cardinal,all kinds of birds,Lakeport.
Comment from Lucy26
Loved it. Loved how it rhymed but did not lose the message. Grandpa and grandson having a good time feeding the different birds.
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Loved it. Loved how it rhymed but did not lose the message. Grandpa and grandson having a good time feeding the different birds.
Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Thank you Lucy. I was a wonderful day.
Comment from country ranch writer
whatching kids cominucate whith nature is a feat in itself for kids today arent that loving toward nature if you know what i mean. watching nature doesn't coast but a few seeds and a beautiful day and where else would one want to be it is free and they are enjoing the day together
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reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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whatching kids cominucate whith nature is a feat in itself for kids today arent that loving toward nature if you know what i mean. watching nature doesn't coast but a few seeds and a beautiful day and where else would one want to be it is free and they are enjoing the day together
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Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Thank you country ranch writer. You are so right.
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welcome
Comment from Gungalo
Grandson and I
Had a good time.
Didn't spend a dime,
Watching birds go by.
More should do this kind of thing with their grandkids and kids. It is a wonderful way to bond Tom and is different every time. Great quatrains.
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reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Grandson and I
Had a good time.
Didn't spend a dime,
Watching birds go by.
More should do this kind of thing with their grandkids and kids. It is a wonderful way to bond Tom and is different every time. Great quatrains.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Thank you Gungalo. Finally stopped snowing. Sun was out. Snow gone. Just a nice day today.
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Smile Tom.
