From out of the Grayness
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Sky-die-caught-ahh-me"Reaching from the gray areas to understand life
10 total reviews
Comment from val fitchie
what the hell did i just read?!?! phantasmagoric symbolic imagery...THAT'S what! On track with the "American pie" lyrics by singer/writer Don McClean....murky,misty yet crystal clear in it's effectiveness and romantic vagueness. Delicious!
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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what the hell did i just read?!?! phantasmagoric symbolic imagery...THAT'S what! On track with the "American pie" lyrics by singer/writer Don McClean....murky,misty yet crystal clear in it's effectiveness and romantic vagueness. Delicious!
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Wow: my buddy Val...where have you been for so long?? I almost quit writing when I thought you were not out there anymore...now my engine's all fired up and ready to get to work!! Thanks so very much .... you're and inspiration// Vance
Comment from tbacha58
Light simply "IS" and Darkness simply is "NOT"
Author's note: Darkness is an absence....of Light so without the concept of light, darkness would not exist!
What's really cool is when they work together and create the balance of "GRAYNESS"
What a beautiful poem Vance, full of doctrine and reality, the rhyming is superb, it gives the poem a feeling of grandiose . You removed the ugliness that comes with Darkness, and combined a beautiful Grayness to the whole world. A name you posses. I enjoyed so much reading your poem. It gave me the time to think, and accept. Much love Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2014
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Light simply "IS" and Darkness simply is "NOT"
Author's note: Darkness is an absence....of Light so without the concept of light, darkness would not exist!
What's really cool is when they work together and create the balance of "GRAYNESS"
What a beautiful poem Vance, full of doctrine and reality, the rhyming is superb, it gives the poem a feeling of grandiose . You removed the ugliness that comes with Darkness, and combined a beautiful Grayness to the whole world. A name you posses. I enjoyed so much reading your poem. It gave me the time to think, and accept. Much love Terry xoxo
Comment Written 14-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2014
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Dear Terry...my only thought is that I wish I were near you and could give you a hug of love that would last forever! Vance
Comment from Staplesque
This poem is very enjoyable and has a lot of depth. I really like the imagery and personification, etc. The only thing is in the line "Crime is exploding and the whole worlds in fear" I think "worlds" should be "world's" since you used apostrophes in contractions elsewhere. Otherwise this is excellent. Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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This poem is very enjoyable and has a lot of depth. I really like the imagery and personification, etc. The only thing is in the line "Crime is exploding and the whole worlds in fear" I think "worlds" should be "world's" since you used apostrophes in contractions elsewhere. Otherwise this is excellent. Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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wow Staplesque...glad to meet you and thanks so much for the tip on world's apostrophe ... sometimes I get a bit sloppy in a hurry to get the thoughts out. I hope you will come back around often as it's always nice to meet another good poet! Cheers and thanks again: HIS GRAYNESS...Vance
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, his grayness, you did an excellent job writing the poem about the way darkness and light always battle it out but one could not exist without the other. i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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this is very well written, his grayness, you did an excellent job writing the poem about the way darkness and light always battle it out but one could not exist without the other. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Hi Sweetwoodjax: Been a long time since hearing from you and so glad to see you again! I appreciate your kind remarks and review as always..thanks so much: Hope to see you again soon! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment from Righteous Riter
The photo compliments the piece well. The writer uses the aabb rhyme scheme effectively. This piece rhymes well as the rhymes are not forced. I would like to see better consistency in the stanzas. Other than that, this piece is good to go.
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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The photo compliments the piece well. The writer uses the aabb rhyme scheme effectively. This piece rhymes well as the rhymes are not forced. I would like to see better consistency in the stanzas. Other than that, this piece is good to go.
Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 04-May-2013
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Thanks Righteous Riter ... really glad to hear from you and alwsys appreciate your meaningful comments. Hope to see you again soon...all the best: HIS GRAYNESS...Vance
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Vance you got my attention
Very good syntax and rhyme of what if the sun was taken away and there only was night and eventually as you said below, Which to me--
give us faith the sun will never go away--
While light's song of gratitude smothered the dark's curse
Scientists marveled greatly at this amazing event
And to this day are pondering where the darkness went
Gert
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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Hello Vance you got my attention
Very good syntax and rhyme of what if the sun was taken away and there only was night and eventually as you said below, Which to me--
give us faith the sun will never go away--
While light's song of gratitude smothered the dark's curse
Scientists marveled greatly at this amazing event
And to this day are pondering where the darkness went
Gert
Comment Written 03-May-2013
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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Well said Gert! If we can master faith by believing in the Master there would never be darkness indeed. Thanks for the review and always delighted to hear from you. Vance
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You are welcome Vance
Gert
Comment from angelmagnet
very cool poem. I like your imagination and the way you describe what is and what is not. Putting your understanding into nature's cycle is really creative and special. This was a good read. Thank you
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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very cool poem. I like your imagination and the way you describe what is and what is not. Putting your understanding into nature's cycle is really creative and special. This was a good read. Thank you
Comment Written 02-May-2013
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Thanks so much angel...it is really great to hear from you and I'm delighted that you liked this read. It was fun! Hope to see you again soon...Cheers, Vance
Comment from Indie Skreet
bloody hell mate, you have a lot to say! lol - mostly good I was pleased to read. I won't hold it against you that some of the lines are a little long which knocks it out of rhythm a bit, but the content and language used is excellent. best wishes Lance, Indie
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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bloody hell mate, you have a lot to say! lol - mostly good I was pleased to read. I won't hold it against you that some of the lines are a little long which knocks it out of rhythm a bit, but the content and language used is excellent. best wishes Lance, Indie
Comment Written 02-May-2013
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Hi Indie: Thanks heaps for checking this out...it was a bit of a fun thing between me and Melissa Bickel as she pondered in a message to me "what would happen if Mother nature screwed up and the sun would not come up? First I sent back a bunch of raunchy thoughts about what people do in the dark....and how long that might last....or not. Then she challenged me to write a short story on the subject but I got to poetic as often happens and yup-- you caught a few of my 'off balance" lines but it was all in fun ... but could be taken seriously too! Thanks so much for your thoughts....really appreciated!! Vance
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lol Vance, why does it not surprise me that you sent back a few raunchy thoughts?! haha and my pleasure :)
Comment from Glasstruth
Very different, I mean that in a good way. The poem really picked up the tempo starting with this line: "When the moon referees the changing of the guard" After this the story was imaginative and a bit surreal. Didn't know what to expect. A great story with a message. You can't have the good without the bad. As the Byrds once sang, "To everything there is season, turn, turn, turn!" Great writing! Les
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Very different, I mean that in a good way. The poem really picked up the tempo starting with this line: "When the moon referees the changing of the guard" After this the story was imaginative and a bit surreal. Didn't know what to expect. A great story with a message. You can't have the good without the bad. As the Byrds once sang, "To everything there is season, turn, turn, turn!" Great writing! Les
Comment Written 02-May-2013
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Les: thanks so much for your insight and meaningful review. This all started with an exchange back and forth with Melissa Bickel and she suggested I write a short story about what would happen if Dark would not yield to day time. So the fun began. Thanks again for your perspectives and generous rating. Vance
Comment from reconciled
Hey Fox..."Let there be light"...God. Alright, what write huh?...-smile- good and evil...light ...and dark...day and night....sshhhw..that about covers it. Wonderful stuff fox...love Michael
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Hey Fox..."Let there be light"...God. Alright, what write huh?...-smile- good and evil...light ...and dark...day and night....sshhhw..that about covers it. Wonderful stuff fox...love Michael
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Thanks Michael...this was a lot of fun and I'm glad you enjoyed it. As always it is great to hear from you and thanks for the five stars...always appreciated! Vance
